Saturday in Moscow

Well, last night went pretty darn well considering her situation!  Like I said, she went down easy, and then we went down about an hour later.  At one point she bumped her head and woke herself up.  We heard her whimper and then she sat upright and we could tell she was startled and she began crying pretty hard.  Even her full on wail is kind of pathetic sounding...bleating goat -like.  We tried to soothe her and tried laying her between us but  this could have been a night terror as she was looking back and forth between us but could seem to find nothing to look at.  Her whole body was tensed up and she just kept crying.  We then flipped her over on her belly and started squeezing the russian dog toy (we found his name to be Boublik, or some spelling that sounds similar) and held it near her head.  She began to o

nly cry in between his talking, like she was finally focusing on somet

hing, and then she settled after about ten minutes of this and we could put her back down.  She slept on solidly for 4 more hours, woke up with little cries because she had pooped, but we changed her and she slept for another 4 hours! 

This is a belated sleeping pic from last night.

This morning she was a happy little camper wandering around then living room playing and  'talking' to us.  We moved her crib so it is beside the wardrobe mirror and she loves that!  Went down for a nap really easily because of that.  Oh!  Breakfast!  She had yogurt(banana flavour) for the first time and her eyebrows shot up and she made a noise of exclamation and devoured it!  Didn't take her eyes off the spoon once!  So fun to see her enjoying flavourful food,  and not just plain porridge!

The rest of the day had her being a happy camper and just wanting to hold Daddy's hand and walk around.  She had half of a grilled cheese sandwhich for lunch and enjoyed it but didnt know how to eat it.  We had to cut it up small and feed it to her.  Things like that make me feel, i don't know how to explain it right, sad/hurt/anxious that she has this learned manner that is totally unnecessary but she cannot understand me to correct it quicker for her own benefit.  She is so used to being spoon fed her entire meal in under five minutes.  They just shovel it in with hardly time to breathe inbetween.  She doesn't know she can pick the food up with her hands and feed herself.  She has only done that with bread or biscuits. They also are not allowed to have anything to drink until it is all finished, so now, when she can assist her swallow with some water, she absolutely guzzles!  For a girl with no roof of her mouth that spells trouble lol!

Sigh.  I know it will take longer to unlearn her habits, just in the same way she has to unlearn her understanding of Russian before she can learn English.  But these customs are just so much more beneficial to her at this point!

We had the Moscow rep, O, visit to pick up all the necessary paperwork for the visas.  I got upset because i honestly thought we left on SATURDAY the 16th, not Friday the 16.  I thought we were worry free because of having five business days.  Now the panic sets in because we only have four!  She just kept saying she "hopes" it will be ok.  What the hell!?  Just when I thought we were only doing time some "more excitement" crops up.  Gah!

Our eve started with some excitement too.  Gas and cramping and painful bowels.  Poor girl!  I hadn't heard her cry in pain yet.  Still kind of goat-like.  She was probably still a bit dehydrated from yesterday, new foods today, stress and it all added up to bowel problems.  Aunt Kitty, you'd have been proud of the grunting strength behind her small frame!  After finally passing some foul gas but nothing more i thought sitting hef in some warm water would help, but was apprehensive because she has never had a bath before... they only get spinged down so she had never heard the thundr of the water filling a tub and then felt enclosed by tall slippery walls while water raised up around her... So, I got in first, stood her in the low level water and just started pooring it on her legs.  She stopped crying and sat down in it.  She loved it!  She settled right down and was playing in the water in about five minutes.  She was playing with the running water when I turned that on for her too.  Well, now I know, Dania loves the tub!  Phew!

She still never pooped though...

Busy, Busy, Busy

I cannot even imagine doing all I am doing and still having to do all that shopping... thanks again!

We keep receiving wonderfully kind words and help and we are so lucky! 

To just give a quick low-down on the new stress we were slapped with, the embassy diplomats went on strike in a lot of the major cities, including Moscow.  I had an email from the lady at CHOC who I keep dealing with (and it was a tad rude, but we won't get into that now since it is being dealt with) that basically said we have to check to see if we are going to experience delays because of this.  Eff that!  Isn't that part of what we are paying her for?  Contact with the reps over in Moscow who would have a better ability to find out this info?!?!  Either way, S has the email of the contact in Moscow from their previous adoption so he emailed her.  It shouldn't be a problem, still 4 business days for the visa, because of the situation.  Thank goodness for his contact with O in Moscow! 

Also, the apartment rental people are beginning to get on our nerves too (when I say our, I mean all 4 of us) with a few little things.  As S said, "there's always a little excitement, isn't there?"

I have ordered the money, washed all of her and our clothes, started the pile of what we need to take, scanned our travel documents again for registration, put new items 'away' so that we can get rid of all the garbage and packaging before she is in the house, rescheduled all appointments, gave my friends a tour of Halifax, and continually email S in Richmond Hill about everything, and dealt with the stupid responses from the two parties I mentioned earlier. 

My list is about half done, which is good because it's halfway through the time we had! 4 more sleeps!!!

More Information

I now have a better idea of the procedure for the rest of this process.  The original information package we were sent, and which I keep referring to, was when there was only a 10 day wait after court and now there is a 30 day appeal so I was confused and asked for clarification.

2nd Trip
About 8 days in Sterlitimak and Ufa.  We need a few business days to be at the orphanage, and then we go to court, then we spend another day signing whatever we need to sign.

30 days Later

3rd Trip
About 4 business days in Sterlitimak/Ufa and 4 business days in Moscow.  I thought she had said we go to Moscow on the second trip for court.  I see now, we just have to go to register her with the Russian authorities and get a Canadian Visa.  So, 3rd trip is a bit longer than I thought, but she is still ours on that trip so there is less anxiety hahaha. 

This is what I just gathered through email with CHOC.
The reps, during our 2nd trip, might say things a bit differently though.  We will wait and see... oh, big surprise, waiting...

visas

They arrived today!  Yeah!!!

I guess I never really looked at them before but they have our names in Russian.  It looks cool.

I also had a conversation with our social worker regarding the update we need.  Nothing big has changed; still intending to adopt from Russia.  She was excited for us too.

We also went down to the police station and requested new police checks.

so exciting!

FLIGHTS BOOKED!!!!!

AHHHHHH!  It feels amazing but this is when shit hit the fan last time.  I KNOW I shouldn't think that, but if I hold a little of that terror in perspective than if it does fall apart we won't be so heart broken as if we were SURE.  (Even though I am secretly sure.  I even had a dream family showed up to appeal the custody, an aunt and cousin, but it was denied because the judge still thought we would take better care of her).

OK, before I get into flight details I must pass along a wonderful email I received.  I save every email I have in regards to this adoption - it is all to show Kid how much support was there BEFORE anyone knew who she was!  This was one that especially struck me.  This is from a good friend who has been a huge supporter from the start - funnily enough, she even wrote in my yearbook that I would probably have more kids than anyone one of 'us'... maybe not more, but clearly the most public process!

"I noticed something today in your words. You sound so much like a "traditionally" expectant mom. So excited and wanting to tell everyone about your upcoming arrival, just as a pregnant woman displays and rubs her tummy, just so people know it's a baby and not a big lunch. Overwhelming fear that something will go wrong. Crying uncontrollably. Aching to hold her. And finally at the very end, just desperately wanting it to be a month ahead so you can just begin your life together. As emotionally draining as it is, I'm so thrilled that you're experiencing all these things :-) "

She is a mum x2 so this feels great and is sincerely not something I had considered before.  I am pretty sure every lady I knew who was pregnant wishes that last month to fly by... LOL!  Just another fun juxtaposition.  

OK, back to flights.

We booked because Mike got the confirmation email that our visas were in the mail.  Hello?  Murphy's Law?  You mean we could have made the appointment on April 23rd? LOL!  I am glad we have more time to still get stuff sorted out.  Especially because it gave me the time to get a chest x-ray, sort out the update on our home study (phone conference tomorrow), and research places to stay in Moscow (still not booked as of now).

We fly out of Halifax on May 11th (transfer in Toronto, transfer in Istanbul) and land in Ufa on the morning of the 13th.  Our appointment with the Ministry of Education is on the 13th at 1pm.  Then we drive to the baby home and stay there until the night of the 16th.  

We fly to Moscow on the 16th.  Our medicals are all day the 17th.  We spend one extra day on the 18th in order to save 900 each on our flights home, the morning of the 19th.  

We return on the 20th.

Phew!

EEEEEEEEEEEEE!   

Clinic Appointments Made

OK, our last appointment for the first trip is now made.  We go for the medicals in Moscow on the 17th.  So, potential timeline is: leave here on the 10th, land in Ufa on the 12th, meeting with the ministry on the 13th and the onto the orphanage, 4 days in the orphanage city, back to Moscow night of the 16th, clinicals all day on the 17, fly home either late that night or early 18th morning.  Boo yah!

I also want to mention that the couple I speak to, D & S, just got an offer for a girl too!  We don't think they can get their visas in time to visit simultaneously but we are very excited for them and hope our paths cross soon! They are going to be very helpful with the list of questions regarding the trip!  Ie, does the couple we stay with have voltage converters?  What are Russia's standards on car seats since we won't have one over there?  Lol!

I'm also looking forward to the new round of training.  I loved the course and how it made Mike and I think.  The course we took was very Chinese-based so a Russia specific will be nice.  It will also help us with the Russian culture and help us with how to help Kid understand her background.

Added two hours later:  we just received the info about the training course.  It sounds very much like a college soc/psych course that is very Russian specific.  There are five hours of video conference and 45 hours of online coursework.  CHOC employees had to go through training in order to become an accredited authority to the Russians.  Of course, there is a fee, sigh, but it is much less than anything else and sounds reasonable considering the personalization and "marking" they will do.  The course is organized by a different employee of CHOC but it will still be nice to have a "face-to-face" meeting with someone from the agency!  The information email said they really spent time making this course to accommodate all clients who didn't live in the GTA. We appreciate that!

GAH!

The visa centre guarenteed that we will NOT receive our visas in time for our appointment on the 24th.  I am so upset. GAH!  Russia and Canada need to fast track their communications for situations like this - no espionage anywhere near us!!!
Mike spent some time on the phone with the visa centre so we are 100% sure we cannot do anything to rush receiving them before the 24th.  TWO DAYS!

It's ok.  Breathe.  Think of the Counting Crows song that you were crying to in the car on the way home from work today, "Round here she's always on my mind.  Round here, hey man, I got lots of time."

CHOC has emailed their reps that this appointment must be changed and the visa situation is completely out of our hands.  Of course, I freak out and think this will count against us somehow.  I had to email CHOC back and make sure Dania wouldn't be re-proposed to a couple that could make it there sooner.  Mike spoke with our rep at CHOC and said she was very empathetic to the situation and new we must be upset that this couldn't work our right now.  I was too upset to call and talk! 

Better now.  Breathing now.  Stomach not in knots waiting to see if our visas will make it. 

I am pissed because I was going to make up our budget of US cash and Roubles needs tomorrow but now I fully can't because I don't know how many days we will be needing to pay translators, housing, drivers, etc.  GAH!

Our hope is that we can keep our medical appointment on the 29th and make that the beginning of the trip.  That is a HUGE hope though since Russia goes on vacation May 1 - 6 and the 9th.  We would need a whole stable of horses' horseshoes up our asses! 

What progress has been made?  Well, Mike and I both got our HIV tests for the visas.  We also got a few other tests so we can hopefully save a bit of money at the medicals in Moscow.  Mike was able to get a chest x-ray too so that should help too; maybe with the extra weeks I will be able to get one too.

I will keep schooling and keep crocheting and hope that the next appointment is not too late in May - I just want to meet you Dani!

GAH!  More waiting!

ps.  The meow mix song does nothing.  This glass of wine does though...

Determination

Now that the dates are "set" I feel like this is more real.  We are playing it safe and waiting until we have a better idea from the visa centre about timing before we purchase tickets.  I feel like it WILL work though.  I have this over riding sense of determination.  It was not apparent the first time because I was so excited and naively happy with the situation.  Now, I'm a bit smarter and I know what could happen, there is this determination that is growing from the pit of my stomach.  I want this to work SO bad!

It may sound like I'm setting myself up for heart ache again but, if Dania does fall through, I will have learned something else besides caution and trust in fate.  I will probably curse fate and not know what this new found knowledge is until I calm down and stop hurting, but I will have learned.

In the meantime, I have been trying to firm up our budget for the first trip.  We will need to buy Roubles to pay for the clinic in Moscow and we will need US cash for everything else.  I have asked CHOC to double check that no fees have changed with the turn of the new year.  She will return the info to me on Wednesday.

I also have a doctor's appointment to obtain the blood work requisitions for my rushed HIV test and for the other possible Rouble saving tests we can get here for free. 

I also keep monitoring flights.  They are more expensive now than at Christmas - what the?  The money difference is not as big of a setback since, hopefully, we will not need a return ticket for Kid!

Tight Timing

Holy Strombole!  We received confirmation that we can have our appointment with the Ministry of Education on the 24th and our clinic appointments on the 29th.  That is all good.  The hard part is guarenteeing our visas will be here in time for us to fly there.  They sent an email saying we wouldn't receive them until the 28th.  Mike got on the phone, because I am so stuffed up I sound like a muppet character, and told them our situation and how I was previously told that if we had them in the mail asap the 18th would be fine for a deadline.

Right now, our passports are at the Russian Embassy in Ottawa waiting for the invitation to create the visa.  The invitation takes about two weeks to firm up.  The guy on the phone told us to start calling around the 10th of April and putting the screws to them because that is when the process could be hurried up.  Once the invite is received and we have met all the criteria (including an HIV test for this kind of visa! what?!) the visa is then created, imprinted into our passport and mailed back to us (there is a same-day option for mailing.  So, next step:  We go get blood done this week and then email the results to the visa centre once we have received them.  Then we start calling.  Then we book flights for the 21st or 22nd of April to arrive for the 24th appointment.

Holy Hannah this is tight!

Bet Your Bottom Dollar...

...that tomorrow there'll be sun!  Because that's when we find out WHEN!

We did mail our visa applications today. BAM! I requested them back just shy of the 30 days so we will hope for the best (of course, is there anything else to hope for here?) and that they take our purpose for travel as a priority over regular business transactions!

Let us also hope that the date we get tomorrow is not too far away!

Yup! Murphy's Law!

Well, it's a Tuesday!

I'm in the middle of a meeting at work, this afternoon, when the call for 'Jessica' comes through.  Only the government calls me that.  My Stomach twisted.

Then it flips when she tells me we have another proposal.
Flips further when she says a 1-year-old girl.

This is Dania.

We are in the process of filling out visas again.  CHOC says they want us to be there for April 18, but the visas won't be ready in time.  Tomorrow we will hopefully have a new date worked out - with a proper 30-day wait for the visas.

I'm over the moon here.

I was planning on a new post for tomorrow (which was supposed to be another Wednesday without a call):  I had a dream that we had been offered a girl.  She was supposed to be 2 but was the size of a 5-year-old and liked Math and video games.  I jolted awake thinking, 'oh no! Mike's girl not mine!' but then I thought, 'how does the orphanage afford video games?'

Have to make more calls but I will update asap!
xoxo
and thanks for all the well wishes... it's worked!

Expired.

Our visas expired today.  Unfortunately, they were unused, a waste of money, and didn't result in any family-building progress.  Let's just pretend we bought 93 packages of 2-day sale diapers from work and call it even.

We've got some Small Shoes to Fill.

It's been 21 weeks since we sent our folder over.  I originally thought at least 30 so we are still in the normal range of waiting.  We were told 6-12 months.  It is just a bit more maddening since we already had one offer.

I hope.  I still hope. 

Sadly, I will be missing my friends wedding, in Cuba, next month.  I will miss my cousin's wedding, in North Carolina, in June.  I will be missing my friend D's and Mike's friend J's weddings - both this summer outside of province.  I feel so sad that we have this state of limbo that is resulting in us missing so many wonderful weddings.  I just hope these people understand how sad this makes us and if it was anything but waiting for this we would be there - with dancing shoes on!  This is another form of loss I had never thought about before embarking on this journey.

We actually had to talk about when to stop waiting.  That was hard but I feel it was necessary.  I don't want to wake up one day a decade from now and feel like we missed all of these wonderful things for naught.  The same way I decided it wasn't happening naturally, we settled on a "it's not going to happen this way either" date.

That's a long ways away though.

Because I hope.

Travel Visas

Now that the immigration forms are done until we have Kid's info I must miss filling out forms since I downloaded the guide to filling our online Visa applications.  Single Entry Business Visa is what we require once we have dates and destinations.  This guide is WAY smaller.  The only downside to this is having to list all of the countries traveled to in the last ten years.  Me?  I'm fine.  Mike on the other hand...

Every single deployment that crossed borders must be entered!  Have fun with that Mike!