Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Proud to be Canadian!
It's official! Dania is Canadian! We got the certificate in the mail yesterday and it was issued November 12! Only 4 days shy of 15 months of her landing on Canadian soil and she is now Canadian! I was so happy when I walked in the door and Mike said, "guess who is Canadain?!?!" She had no idea why I was making her hold the certificate and smile but she did it anyway and looks SO proud!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Emotional One.
I wanted this one to be separate from the previous post because it means a lot to me.
First, and mostly because it won't make me cry as much (...as much!), I have a friend who is moving away; and I mean moving away... like, to another country away, and this is her first time moving out. That coupled with this time of year - Back to School - always makes me remember when I moved out. I was insecure, depressed even though I didn't know it then, and very guarded. I had to tell S that I am looking at her moving from my remembered perspective and from a mum perspective. Seemingly everything now has me flashing forward to when it could happen to Dania instead of when it happened to me. I had to tell S that if Dania is similar in the self-assuredness, strength, and character S has (and I don't mean as a knight!), then I honestly don't think I would worry so much about her moving out. I remember that I found 'me' in university and I was quite self-conscious at the end of high school. It was with a lot of friends and familial support in second and third year that I figured stuff out. (This is also not inspired in anyway by the recent news of Robin Williams, either... ya, right). I worry that Dania will have trouble finding 'her' when she doesn't necessarily have the knowledge of her past that she might want. Oh, goodness, the worry spiral... I thought it was bad before... now, I'm a Mom. This is the type of content that was touched on in adoption training but can never be properly addressed because it is so individually tailored. It was great that they gave the info about finding international adoption-specific psychiatrists. I feel like that wasn't something that was given out in the past because being adopted and different wasn't addressed as readily as it is now - seriously, who isn't different? Anyway, I have a few people that I look to and hope that Dania can one day embody some of their greatness. I look at my cousin and my good friend who each raised 2 girls who are about to hit the decade mark and are wonderful to be around and hope Dania is as well adjusted as these girls. I hope Dania finds role models in her personal life like I have! And to my friend about to embark on a new adventure, bravo! I don't feel a shred of friend worry for you... it's only mom worry hahaha.
The moment in Ontario that took me by complete surprise was with my own mum. Now, I have mentioned many times and to many people that Dania can throw fits. I have had one group of friends see an 'almost-there' level of fit (even Mike hasn't seen the worst!) but I had one overheard in Ontario. I don't know what the trigger was for this and she literally screamed-inhaled-screamed-inhaled on repeat for I don't know how long. She was exhausted, she was given food, she had bed and stories and Elmo... who knows? When she finally stopped and fell asleep (a loooooooong time later), I was reading and Mum came in and asked if that was what I meant by a tantrum. You bet. She then asked if I was ok. That was not what I expected. I don't know why exactly, maybe because no one has really witnessed one of her huge fits and maybe because I feel inadequate, but I felt like I was bound to be told what to do instead of what I had done as opposed to questioned that I was okay. Ten days later... I'm hugging Mum goodbye and about to get into the car to go to the airport when she tells me I'm a good mum and she doesn't know where I got my patience from. Woah. That struck me hard being told by my own mum, who I respect hugely for a gajillion reasons, that I'm a good mum when I don't feel that way in situations like that. It's true, I don't have a lot of patience usually; I'm quick to jump to worse case scenario and conclude the 'only' way a situation can turn out but when it comes to Dania? Anything goes. I don't know what's going on in that head of hers, so I have to just go with my gut and do what I do. Thanks Mum. Thanks for the upraising and the complement.
First, and mostly because it won't make me cry as much (...as much!), I have a friend who is moving away; and I mean moving away... like, to another country away, and this is her first time moving out. That coupled with this time of year - Back to School - always makes me remember when I moved out. I was insecure, depressed even though I didn't know it then, and very guarded. I had to tell S that I am looking at her moving from my remembered perspective and from a mum perspective. Seemingly everything now has me flashing forward to when it could happen to Dania instead of when it happened to me. I had to tell S that if Dania is similar in the self-assuredness, strength, and character S has (and I don't mean as a knight!), then I honestly don't think I would worry so much about her moving out. I remember that I found 'me' in university and I was quite self-conscious at the end of high school. It was with a lot of friends and familial support in second and third year that I figured stuff out. (This is also not inspired in anyway by the recent news of Robin Williams, either... ya, right). I worry that Dania will have trouble finding 'her' when she doesn't necessarily have the knowledge of her past that she might want. Oh, goodness, the worry spiral... I thought it was bad before... now, I'm a Mom. This is the type of content that was touched on in adoption training but can never be properly addressed because it is so individually tailored. It was great that they gave the info about finding international adoption-specific psychiatrists. I feel like that wasn't something that was given out in the past because being adopted and different wasn't addressed as readily as it is now - seriously, who isn't different? Anyway, I have a few people that I look to and hope that Dania can one day embody some of their greatness. I look at my cousin and my good friend who each raised 2 girls who are about to hit the decade mark and are wonderful to be around and hope Dania is as well adjusted as these girls. I hope Dania finds role models in her personal life like I have! And to my friend about to embark on a new adventure, bravo! I don't feel a shred of friend worry for you... it's only mom worry hahaha.
The moment in Ontario that took me by complete surprise was with my own mum. Now, I have mentioned many times and to many people that Dania can throw fits. I have had one group of friends see an 'almost-there' level of fit (even Mike hasn't seen the worst!) but I had one overheard in Ontario. I don't know what the trigger was for this and she literally screamed-inhaled-screamed-inhaled on repeat for I don't know how long. She was exhausted, she was given food, she had bed and stories and Elmo... who knows? When she finally stopped and fell asleep (a loooooooong time later), I was reading and Mum came in and asked if that was what I meant by a tantrum. You bet. She then asked if I was ok. That was not what I expected. I don't know why exactly, maybe because no one has really witnessed one of her huge fits and maybe because I feel inadequate, but I felt like I was bound to be told what to do instead of what I had done as opposed to questioned that I was okay. Ten days later... I'm hugging Mum goodbye and about to get into the car to go to the airport when she tells me I'm a good mum and she doesn't know where I got my patience from. Woah. That struck me hard being told by my own mum, who I respect hugely for a gajillion reasons, that I'm a good mum when I don't feel that way in situations like that. It's true, I don't have a lot of patience usually; I'm quick to jump to worse case scenario and conclude the 'only' way a situation can turn out but when it comes to Dania? Anything goes. I don't know what's going on in that head of hers, so I have to just go with my gut and do what I do. Thanks Mum. Thanks for the upraising and the complement.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Big Strides
In my opinion, she has just had three big moments in the last 30 hours!
(Wow! Two entries in less than a week! hahaha)
First stride: She laughed at something that she observed as opposed to something that someone was doing to her or at her. Up until now, she has only really laughed if we were making faces at her, tickling her, or playing games WITH her. Last night, she was watching her friend D dance around and pretend to be a Lego character. She all of a sudden started laughing at him! I asked him to do it again and she laughed again. She never cared that he wasn't doing it FOR her benefit (he was actually demonstrating a character from the movie for my benefit). This made me sooooo happy. She followed this up by seriously trying to mimic him but because she cannot jump, it was just a lot of arm throwing and grunting hahaha.
Second stride: She tried to play WITH someone tonight. We had a friend over for an hour, or so, and normally these two will play independently beside each other, or Dania will watch her play and then play with the toy once E has moved on. Now, as of lately, she has understood chasing games because of E but she has never played with a toy with someone. Tonight, she picked up a block that E was playing with and wanted to add it to the stack. Of course, E didn't want to have help because she is completely capable and promptly tried to take the block from Dania and do it herself, but again, this was a new concept in her attitude and habits.
Third stride: Her first 'mine' moment, or what I imagine to be a mine moment since I can't understand what she is actually saying hahaha! Later tonight, E picked a toy out of the box, a light-up microphone, and began singing and dancing. Dania walked over and began pointing and indicating to me that she wanted it. When I told her that E was playing with it first, she wanted nothing to do with that and did her typical angry tense-up and squeal. She did this several times and I encouraged her to make E's plush frog dance to E's singing instead...which placated her for the moment. I was really curious as to when she would have a 'mine' moment because she spent her first 17 months in a place where she had no 'mine.'
So, in the wake of these strides (again, in my opinion) I have compiled this little comparison photo. Six months and ten days difference. She has 4 inches of height, a few pounds of weight, and an unknown amount of muscle!
She still has that perfect nose and HUGE eyelashes! (That sentence just made me smile HUGE!)
(Wow! Two entries in less than a week! hahaha)
First stride: She laughed at something that she observed as opposed to something that someone was doing to her or at her. Up until now, she has only really laughed if we were making faces at her, tickling her, or playing games WITH her. Last night, she was watching her friend D dance around and pretend to be a Lego character. She all of a sudden started laughing at him! I asked him to do it again and she laughed again. She never cared that he wasn't doing it FOR her benefit (he was actually demonstrating a character from the movie for my benefit). This made me sooooo happy. She followed this up by seriously trying to mimic him but because she cannot jump, it was just a lot of arm throwing and grunting hahaha.
Second stride: She tried to play WITH someone tonight. We had a friend over for an hour, or so, and normally these two will play independently beside each other, or Dania will watch her play and then play with the toy once E has moved on. Now, as of lately, she has understood chasing games because of E but she has never played with a toy with someone. Tonight, she picked up a block that E was playing with and wanted to add it to the stack. Of course, E didn't want to have help because she is completely capable and promptly tried to take the block from Dania and do it herself, but again, this was a new concept in her attitude and habits.
Third stride: Her first 'mine' moment, or what I imagine to be a mine moment since I can't understand what she is actually saying hahaha! Later tonight, E picked a toy out of the box, a light-up microphone, and began singing and dancing. Dania walked over and began pointing and indicating to me that she wanted it. When I told her that E was playing with it first, she wanted nothing to do with that and did her typical angry tense-up and squeal. She did this several times and I encouraged her to make E's plush frog dance to E's singing instead...which placated her for the moment. I was really curious as to when she would have a 'mine' moment because she spent her first 17 months in a place where she had no 'mine.'
She still has that perfect nose and HUGE eyelashes! (That sentence just made me smile HUGE!)
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Primary Closure
What a whirlwind few days! Sunday night I packed up the bags, put her to bed early, drank a lot of wine so I could sleep, and then tried to wrap my mind around how her world was about to change...again! Of course I had moments where I fretted about losing her and over reacted about everything that could go wrong, but I woke up ready and calm on Monday morning.
Day 1
We got her to the pre-op room early, early (she was second surgery, only after a suture removal), and began our wait. She hadn't eaten and I had to keep saying no to her drink requests but she was in such good spirits. She was wonderful and happy and only a little hesitant when they took her away. We moved to the waiting room. My biggest concern was if there was going to be a reaction to the anesthesia - we would know about that right away. About 20 minutes later the ear surgeon comes out and tells us the tubes are in and they were starting the cleft - well, I guess the anesthesia was okay! When it hit the 2 hour mark I started to get antsy... the surgeon had estimated 1.5 - 2 hours. I had to remind myself that it was 2 hours starting AFTER the anesthesia and tubes. I resolved to sit patiently still. I looked up and the surgeon was walking out to us and said it had all gone well. He said her muscles were strong and moved well, which should help her speech development, and that everything closed over like he expected. They had to cut the tissue up into the hard pallet so that he could stretch it enough but he had said that might have had to happen too. He assured us again that it was all good, kept asking if we had any questions, and said they would call us in an hour or two when she was ready to be taken to her room. Mike and I heaved a big sigh and finally felt safe to go eat lunch! Almost as soon as we walked back into the waiting room (30 minutes tops) the surgeon came back and said he had just checked on her and they would be calling us soon! He said she was reaching for her mouth so they had to put the braces on her arms, but we expected that since she sucks on her fingers. I was surprised that they were calling us now. The phone rang and we went back to see her in recovery. She was hyperventilating and clearly very upset. The nurse said she thought we would calm her down better than anything else. She saw me and said "hiii" like she does from her crib every morning, and then she started wailing - it was a strange, stuffy-sounding wail, but it broke my heart. The nurse told me to sit and she handed her to me and I just began singing and talking. She stopped crying and just did the big, racking sighs. She eventually drifted off and Mike and I sat there holding and petting her for over an hour. She was attached to IV fluid and a morphine infusion and was swollen and slightly bruised around the mouth. My poor baby.
At around 2:30pm, the nurse came and took us to our room and we moved her to a crib. She looked at Mike and asked, 'up?' in that same stuffy voice but that made me feel good that she is still in there and not traumatized. She slept and we waited for her to wake up again. She would wake up and be upset that she couldn't touch her hair or wipe her eyes and the tubes clearly bothered her. She would reach for us and we did our best to console her. I even climbed into the crib for 4 hours and held her. When she woke up again, she asked for something to drink! Good sign since she was on IV fluid and finally feeling thirsty! She tolerated a little water and then Mike took her and held her until the morning.
Day 2
The resident surgeon came in with his entourage and checked her mouth. He said the wound looked dry and intact and that they would take her off the IV this morning. He also said our primary surgeon would be in later. Once the IV was out she ate a LOT compared to all of our expectations! Another good sign! Then the diapers started needing to be changed. Yeah to fluid passing through her no problem. She was still receiving morphine every 4 hours with her acetaminophen but being off the infusion made her so much more herself. She did get really fussy just after lunch but we could tell it was because she was tired and angry that things felt different. She didn't seem to have problems swallowing food or water though! It was the new sensation of suction that was hurting her. She kept sucking her tongue to the new roof of her mouth and causing it to hurt! After her much needed nap she asked for Elmo (which we had packed) and wanted to go for walks. We went to the activity room and the play room, where the clown and her entertained each other, and she was so much herself that it felt amazing.
Now, I say she was herself personality and spirit, but there are things that are obviously different. The first big thing, which we never had even considered, is that the tone of her voice is different! She is even higher pitched than before. She is nasally, more from the blood and swelling, but there is a definite 'Minnie Mouse' quality that was not there before! She already had such a girly sing-song voice that it cracks me up to hear her now. She also snores now, which I had never heard before. It makes sense if you consider that they do surgery to make the soft palate smaller to reduce snoring and she didn't even have one before! hahaha! It is also refreshing to not see food come out her nose right after eating - although the blood right now is not so fun. It keeps scabbing over so she can't breathe! (The bath when we got home cleaned a lot of that though!)
At the end of this day she went to sleep in the crib by herself. She was fussy because she knew we were right there but she did eventually fall asleep after spending the day with limited pain medication. Success!
Day 3
After a visit from the resident and his students, we were told we were clear to leave today if we felt comfortable with that. He was happy with what he was seeing and hearing of her progress. The primary surgeon came in after that and said very much the same thing. I told him that we wanted to try her without the morphine this morning just to see if she could tolerate the pain, and then we would be comfortable taking her home. She had a good morning eating and reading books. She went about 6 hours without morphine and then she through another fit (again, I think it was because she was woken up every four hours so she never really got a good sleep) and eventually I think it was hurting her in her throat and mouth because she was crying so much. We called for the morphine to help her sleep. The nurse brought the magic and she fell asleep not long after and woke again in good spirits. The surgeon came in while she slept and I said we were ready because I think being in her own home will do her better and he agreed wholeheartedly. He said that all they were doing was pain control and we can do that at home as long as we felt okay with that. He was still very assuring that everything was going well and made sure all of our questions were answered. He wants to see us in 3 weeks for followup. When she woke up, we ate lunch, packed, and were officially discharged. She was quite dopey in the car but perked up when we got home. She ate a small dinner, played a whole lot, and started to crash early. We gave her a bath, which seemed to make her happy, and gave the ears a chance to be 'cleaned.' I use quotations because the amount of scabbing in there doesn't allow for us to really go in and clean and know we won't hurt anything, so we just let her lay underwater and then I removed what scabs I could from the outer opening. Poor kid. So full of scabs. Anyway, she is at home now and asleep in her crib. She has only had two doses of morphine today and will hopefully have a good sleep - her first in three days. Hopefully, Mike and I will too!
Kid is an incredible survivor. She proves it again by blowing all my worries out the window for the newest giant upset in her life!
Day 1
We got her to the pre-op room early, early (she was second surgery, only after a suture removal), and began our wait. She hadn't eaten and I had to keep saying no to her drink requests but she was in such good spirits. She was wonderful and happy and only a little hesitant when they took her away. We moved to the waiting room. My biggest concern was if there was going to be a reaction to the anesthesia - we would know about that right away. About 20 minutes later the ear surgeon comes out and tells us the tubes are in and they were starting the cleft - well, I guess the anesthesia was okay! When it hit the 2 hour mark I started to get antsy... the surgeon had estimated 1.5 - 2 hours. I had to remind myself that it was 2 hours starting AFTER the anesthesia and tubes. I resolved to sit patiently still. I looked up and the surgeon was walking out to us and said it had all gone well. He said her muscles were strong and moved well, which should help her speech development, and that everything closed over like he expected. They had to cut the tissue up into the hard pallet so that he could stretch it enough but he had said that might have had to happen too. He assured us again that it was all good, kept asking if we had any questions, and said they would call us in an hour or two when she was ready to be taken to her room. Mike and I heaved a big sigh and finally felt safe to go eat lunch! Almost as soon as we walked back into the waiting room (30 minutes tops) the surgeon came back and said he had just checked on her and they would be calling us soon! He said she was reaching for her mouth so they had to put the braces on her arms, but we expected that since she sucks on her fingers. I was surprised that they were calling us now. The phone rang and we went back to see her in recovery. She was hyperventilating and clearly very upset. The nurse said she thought we would calm her down better than anything else. She saw me and said "hiii" like she does from her crib every morning, and then she started wailing - it was a strange, stuffy-sounding wail, but it broke my heart. The nurse told me to sit and she handed her to me and I just began singing and talking. She stopped crying and just did the big, racking sighs. She eventually drifted off and Mike and I sat there holding and petting her for over an hour. She was attached to IV fluid and a morphine infusion and was swollen and slightly bruised around the mouth. My poor baby.
At around 2:30pm, the nurse came and took us to our room and we moved her to a crib. She looked at Mike and asked, 'up?' in that same stuffy voice but that made me feel good that she is still in there and not traumatized. She slept and we waited for her to wake up again. She would wake up and be upset that she couldn't touch her hair or wipe her eyes and the tubes clearly bothered her. She would reach for us and we did our best to console her. I even climbed into the crib for 4 hours and held her. When she woke up again, she asked for something to drink! Good sign since she was on IV fluid and finally feeling thirsty! She tolerated a little water and then Mike took her and held her until the morning.
Day 2
The resident surgeon came in with his entourage and checked her mouth. He said the wound looked dry and intact and that they would take her off the IV this morning. He also said our primary surgeon would be in later. Once the IV was out she ate a LOT compared to all of our expectations! Another good sign! Then the diapers started needing to be changed. Yeah to fluid passing through her no problem. She was still receiving morphine every 4 hours with her acetaminophen but being off the infusion made her so much more herself. She did get really fussy just after lunch but we could tell it was because she was tired and angry that things felt different. She didn't seem to have problems swallowing food or water though! It was the new sensation of suction that was hurting her. She kept sucking her tongue to the new roof of her mouth and causing it to hurt! After her much needed nap she asked for Elmo (which we had packed) and wanted to go for walks. We went to the activity room and the play room, where the clown and her entertained each other, and she was so much herself that it felt amazing.
Now, I say she was herself personality and spirit, but there are things that are obviously different. The first big thing, which we never had even considered, is that the tone of her voice is different! She is even higher pitched than before. She is nasally, more from the blood and swelling, but there is a definite 'Minnie Mouse' quality that was not there before! She already had such a girly sing-song voice that it cracks me up to hear her now. She also snores now, which I had never heard before. It makes sense if you consider that they do surgery to make the soft palate smaller to reduce snoring and she didn't even have one before! hahaha! It is also refreshing to not see food come out her nose right after eating - although the blood right now is not so fun. It keeps scabbing over so she can't breathe! (The bath when we got home cleaned a lot of that though!)
At the end of this day she went to sleep in the crib by herself. She was fussy because she knew we were right there but she did eventually fall asleep after spending the day with limited pain medication. Success!
Day 3
After a visit from the resident and his students, we were told we were clear to leave today if we felt comfortable with that. He was happy with what he was seeing and hearing of her progress. The primary surgeon came in after that and said very much the same thing. I told him that we wanted to try her without the morphine this morning just to see if she could tolerate the pain, and then we would be comfortable taking her home. She had a good morning eating and reading books. She went about 6 hours without morphine and then she through another fit (again, I think it was because she was woken up every four hours so she never really got a good sleep) and eventually I think it was hurting her in her throat and mouth because she was crying so much. We called for the morphine to help her sleep. The nurse brought the magic and she fell asleep not long after and woke again in good spirits. The surgeon came in while she slept and I said we were ready because I think being in her own home will do her better and he agreed wholeheartedly. He said that all they were doing was pain control and we can do that at home as long as we felt okay with that. He was still very assuring that everything was going well and made sure all of our questions were answered. He wants to see us in 3 weeks for followup. When she woke up, we ate lunch, packed, and were officially discharged. She was quite dopey in the car but perked up when we got home. She ate a small dinner, played a whole lot, and started to crash early. We gave her a bath, which seemed to make her happy, and gave the ears a chance to be 'cleaned.' I use quotations because the amount of scabbing in there doesn't allow for us to really go in and clean and know we won't hurt anything, so we just let her lay underwater and then I removed what scabs I could from the outer opening. Poor kid. So full of scabs. Anyway, she is at home now and asleep in her crib. She has only had two doses of morphine today and will hopefully have a good sleep - her first in three days. Hopefully, Mike and I will too!
Kid is an incredible survivor. She proves it again by blowing all my worries out the window for the newest giant upset in her life!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Ontario Trip
We were a little apprehensive about the plane ride since the last one was such a trial... but she was perfect! What a peach that charmed everyone and now waves 'hi' and 'bye' almost all of the time (we practiced with people coming on and off the plane. When we landed in Ontario she was clingy towards me... she had never been like that. I think she was nervous about the change in environment and wanted to make sure I was not going anywhere - melt my heart! She is completely attached to us and that is the evidence right there. By the next morning, though, I think she had remembered Aunt Kitty and Uncle Fil (they were the most recent visitors), it took her a bit longer with gramma and grampa. Just like we did when she first came here, we took it easy with introduction and tried not to do more than one face a day. There were two parties though, and at those she was a complete charmer again.
The first party was my cousin J's wedding. She was quiet at first and then discovered the wall of mirrors! She walked around with my cousin C's kids and they watched over her and Dania was great. She didn't get a full length nap that afternoon so she was a little cranky at the restaurant after the ceremony but, all in all, the day was a success! And she looked darn cute too!
We went to the aquarium in Toronto too. AMAZING! It opened the day we arrived in Ontario so it was still VERY new and just a stellar place to visit! She loved it too. She likes water so we had a feeling she would the view. She liked when the sharks swam over top of her. She was a little hesitant about the glass floors, clearly they were confusing her because they were see through but she wasn't falling in... It was enjoyable for us to watch her mind work.
On this trip she developed so many new habits. She now goes crazy before bed every night. It was a once in a while event before, but now she loooves to make herself dizzy and run around from person to person. She also is more melodic with her talking. She still isn't saying words but she sounds more like she is having a conversation for sure! She also is a lot more approachable to people. She always was easy going with new faces, thanks to the orphanage, but she is a lot more immediately interactive. She still initial breaks the ice by pointing out her eye, but a visit with O and M had her nodding and waiting for them to mimic her. She nods, shrugs, tilts her head in a creepy-twins-from-The-Shining manner, head rolls, and will all out laugh now! She has somersaulted on her own, likes to be startled, and play peek-a-boo!
Dania met and had dinner with her 4 great-grandparents that live in Brantford. Papa Jim was waiting when the elevator doors opened and yelled down the hall to Nana, "told you I was going to meet her first!" It was wonderful. He also declared he was going to hold her first and kind of sent Nana to get her something so he could sit in the chair with Dania! At her other great-grandparents' it was cute to see Dania sit in the same little rocking chair that I remember sitting in when I was little, as did my mum and gramma! Perfect!
To end the whole visit with a bang we had a meet and greet planned and the entire world came to visit! She looked amazing again... in a unicorn dress, no less! I loved unicorns as a kid so I HAD to buy this dress when I saw it!
The first party was my cousin J's wedding. She was quiet at first and then discovered the wall of mirrors! She walked around with my cousin C's kids and they watched over her and Dania was great. She didn't get a full length nap that afternoon so she was a little cranky at the restaurant after the ceremony but, all in all, the day was a success! And she looked darn cute too!
We went to the aquarium in Toronto too. AMAZING! It opened the day we arrived in Ontario so it was still VERY new and just a stellar place to visit! She loved it too. She likes water so we had a feeling she would the view. She liked when the sharks swam over top of her. She was a little hesitant about the glass floors, clearly they were confusing her because they were see through but she wasn't falling in... It was enjoyable for us to watch her mind work.
Dania met and had dinner with her 4 great-grandparents that live in Brantford. Papa Jim was waiting when the elevator doors opened and yelled down the hall to Nana, "told you I was going to meet her first!" It was wonderful. He also declared he was going to hold her first and kind of sent Nana to get her something so he could sit in the chair with Dania! At her other great-grandparents' it was cute to see Dania sit in the same little rocking chair that I remember sitting in when I was little, as did my mum and gramma! Perfect!
To end the whole visit with a bang we had a meet and greet planned and the entire world came to visit! She looked amazing again... in a unicorn dress, no less! I loved unicorns as a kid so I HAD to buy this dress when I saw it!
Even with 55 people in the room, Dania was not shy! She actually reached from person to person and went looking for the food she liked best (pretzels) and would let herself be picked up to converse with all of the strangers. I keep saying it, but it means the world to me how many friends and family came to see Dania and the generosity from everyone! It was an amazing evening and hear and see Dania giggle and laugh so much now made all the pre-trip apprehensions worth it!
We are back to reality now and will be starting with the doctors again on Monday! Phew! What an adventure. And the plane ride back? It was great. She was the best behaved kid on the plane, so much so that she actually started mimicking one other girl who was crying - it sounded like she was making fun of her! Eeesh. Had to try and stop that! She didn't get to nap and was cranky and out of sorts when she went down to bed but she was just fine after a good sleep-in!
I have also just noticed that a lot of her 3-6 month clothes don't fit now! Yeah!!!! She's growing! I love this kid! She makes me laugh soooo much!
Monday, October 14, 2013
Busy Week for Dania
This week started with a visit from the social worker. She was a total doll for D! She came in the morning and stayed for almost 2 hours. She probably didn't need to stay that long but she was obviously happy for us and I was excited for D to meet Dania. She actually said that she could sit there all morning and just watch me and Dania play because we there was such positive and happy energy from us all!
She took notes and asked a lot of the standard questions about what the leave situation is like, how much is our monthly income, what's our schedule like. Then she kept asking about Dania and, well, I just couldn't stop talking! She asked about her likes and dislikes, habits, how she has changed, what medical plans we have, how she reacts to people and surroundings and the animals. It felt great to keep relaying how awesome this kid is! Really! It may all hit the fan when she decides to rebel because "you're not my real mom" but for the time being, this kid is wonderful!
The next day we had an ophthalmologist appointment. This older gentleman took one quick peak in her eyes with the lighted scope and said, "yes, she is near-sighted." I asked how he could tell and he replied, "you see that plaque in the hall that says I've been doing this for 36 years? That's how." Oh my! How we all laughed! I liked him instantly. He also kept proclaiming how cute Dania is. He held a few items in his hand at different distances and then tried to get her to look at a lighted cartoon dog across the room and she definitely didn't focus on it. He wants us to come back on Nov. 4th and do a more extensive test with the dilating drops just to make sure there isn't anything more going on. I think she will be so adorable with glasses and was a little disappointed that we didn't get to try glasses on right away!
Thursday we had the pediatrician visit. This lady said she used to see all of the international orphans at one time because GPs tend to be weary about drawing some conclusions for these children and would feel more comfortable with an expert. She told us this after she asked us what concerns we had and I said I didn't have any! She also said that she is the pediatrician at the IWK (children's hospital) in the Ear, Nose, Throat clinic and was shocked we had not been contacted by them for an appointment yet. She said that a cleft like hers would normally be treated after two years old (one year if she was born here) because the tissue heals better when it is older. She asked us to call her on Wednesday and she will check on Thursday about Dania's appointment. Jackpot! Dr. S said she was going to keep Dania's file open but that she did not have any concerns. Dania was extremely well-behaved, even gave a fecal sample almost on cue. She wanted us to come back at 2 years just so she can keep tracking her measurements. Dania has gained a pound since the GP visit (18.5 by official scales) and she is proportionate. There was one oddity, her head circumference went down from 1 year to now... Dr. S seems to think this is not accurate but we will double check progress at her 2 year appointment. The female growth spectrum chart had Dania in the bottom for everything so she will probably always be petite, but, again, no concerns. She even settled my concern that Dania wasn't drinking enough milk (she totally is) and Mike's concern that she doesn't eat enough (again, she totally is).
Then she had Thanksgiving dinner with all of Mike's side of the family! Uncle Jon is the favourite because he can lift her the highest! She loves being able to touch the ceiling. She also was given cheesecake again and went nuts. She was spinning around and being a super zombie. It was so funny! She wore a cute dress and was pretty well behaved. Starting getting a little cranky at the end of the night but that was expected. If she has a frisbee that she can push around on the ground or bang on hard floors she is a happy camper. She liked the turkey too - and cranberry sauch!
As for my personal observations from the week, she is starting to make different sounds, finally. She actually was trying to mimic 'hello' while we were playing peed-a-boo. She kind of sounded like a dove, it was so cute. She is also indicating specific pictures in books or more specific items (and less of just the general direction of 'over-there') and making a sound after as if she is saying what it is. She can indicate toes and knees, and tries shoulders but she cannot touch them without my help; she touches her armpits LOL. She is trying hard to jump and has gotten off the ground a few times - this stems from her want to dance and not the fact that she knows what jumping is. She sings aloud whenever I play Sarah Slean - it is instant. Most other musicians she will start by swaying and then, maybe, make a little coo here or there. She must love Sarah Slean as inherently as I do! She also lights up as soon as she hears the Muppet Show theme song!
We travel this week. I'm a little nervous about the plane because it could bring back memories and feelings from the looooong flight from Moscow. Although, if she is similar to how she was on the flight from Ufa to Moscow we will be fine! I know my family has gotten everything she could possibly need for when we visit so that is a huge relief and I feel lucky, again, to have such great family! I also went shopping with a friend, M, and he picked out the dress that Dania will wear for my cousin's wedding! She will be adorable!
She is almost always adorable!
Here is my favourite pic of the week:
-Still waiting for the permanent resident card.
-Printed the photos for our post placement report that we have to mail tomorrow. We also have to get the money order for that. D will mail her report directly from her social work business.
-Booked an appointment with speech pathologist next month.
-Need to phone Dr. S. to investigate Dania's ENT appointment.
Here we come Ontario!
xoxo
She took notes and asked a lot of the standard questions about what the leave situation is like, how much is our monthly income, what's our schedule like. Then she kept asking about Dania and, well, I just couldn't stop talking! She asked about her likes and dislikes, habits, how she has changed, what medical plans we have, how she reacts to people and surroundings and the animals. It felt great to keep relaying how awesome this kid is! Really! It may all hit the fan when she decides to rebel because "you're not my real mom" but for the time being, this kid is wonderful!
The next day we had an ophthalmologist appointment. This older gentleman took one quick peak in her eyes with the lighted scope and said, "yes, she is near-sighted." I asked how he could tell and he replied, "you see that plaque in the hall that says I've been doing this for 36 years? That's how." Oh my! How we all laughed! I liked him instantly. He also kept proclaiming how cute Dania is. He held a few items in his hand at different distances and then tried to get her to look at a lighted cartoon dog across the room and she definitely didn't focus on it. He wants us to come back on Nov. 4th and do a more extensive test with the dilating drops just to make sure there isn't anything more going on. I think she will be so adorable with glasses and was a little disappointed that we didn't get to try glasses on right away!
Thursday we had the pediatrician visit. This lady said she used to see all of the international orphans at one time because GPs tend to be weary about drawing some conclusions for these children and would feel more comfortable with an expert. She told us this after she asked us what concerns we had and I said I didn't have any! She also said that she is the pediatrician at the IWK (children's hospital) in the Ear, Nose, Throat clinic and was shocked we had not been contacted by them for an appointment yet. She said that a cleft like hers would normally be treated after two years old (one year if she was born here) because the tissue heals better when it is older. She asked us to call her on Wednesday and she will check on Thursday about Dania's appointment. Jackpot! Dr. S said she was going to keep Dania's file open but that she did not have any concerns. Dania was extremely well-behaved, even gave a fecal sample almost on cue. She wanted us to come back at 2 years just so she can keep tracking her measurements. Dania has gained a pound since the GP visit (18.5 by official scales) and she is proportionate. There was one oddity, her head circumference went down from 1 year to now... Dr. S seems to think this is not accurate but we will double check progress at her 2 year appointment. The female growth spectrum chart had Dania in the bottom for everything so she will probably always be petite, but, again, no concerns. She even settled my concern that Dania wasn't drinking enough milk (she totally is) and Mike's concern that she doesn't eat enough (again, she totally is).
Then she had Thanksgiving dinner with all of Mike's side of the family! Uncle Jon is the favourite because he can lift her the highest! She loves being able to touch the ceiling. She also was given cheesecake again and went nuts. She was spinning around and being a super zombie. It was so funny! She wore a cute dress and was pretty well behaved. Starting getting a little cranky at the end of the night but that was expected. If she has a frisbee that she can push around on the ground or bang on hard floors she is a happy camper. She liked the turkey too - and cranberry sauch!
As for my personal observations from the week, she is starting to make different sounds, finally. She actually was trying to mimic 'hello' while we were playing peed-a-boo. She kind of sounded like a dove, it was so cute. She is also indicating specific pictures in books or more specific items (and less of just the general direction of 'over-there') and making a sound after as if she is saying what it is. She can indicate toes and knees, and tries shoulders but she cannot touch them without my help; she touches her armpits LOL. She is trying hard to jump and has gotten off the ground a few times - this stems from her want to dance and not the fact that she knows what jumping is. She sings aloud whenever I play Sarah Slean - it is instant. Most other musicians she will start by swaying and then, maybe, make a little coo here or there. She must love Sarah Slean as inherently as I do! She also lights up as soon as she hears the Muppet Show theme song!
We travel this week. I'm a little nervous about the plane because it could bring back memories and feelings from the looooong flight from Moscow. Although, if she is similar to how she was on the flight from Ufa to Moscow we will be fine! I know my family has gotten everything she could possibly need for when we visit so that is a huge relief and I feel lucky, again, to have such great family! I also went shopping with a friend, M, and he picked out the dress that Dania will wear for my cousin's wedding! She will be adorable!
She is almost always adorable!
Here is my favourite pic of the week:
-Printed the photos for our post placement report that we have to mail tomorrow. We also have to get the money order for that. D will mail her report directly from her social work business.
-Booked an appointment with speech pathologist next month.
-Need to phone Dr. S. to investigate Dania's ENT appointment.
Here we come Ontario!
xoxo
Monday, October 7, 2013
Week 7
Can you believe that is all it has been??? I'm soooo antsy for that permanent resident card!
Well, this is a big week coming up. We have our social worker 'play date,' (we've been calling it that because we both know that there aren't any issues and this added first report is unwarranted) tomorrow. We have the eye doctor on Tuesday and the pediatrician on Thursday. I'm hoping the pediatrician will have a better idea for a timeline for the ENT doctor since my GP said he really doesn't know or have a patient reference. He just sent the referral to the hospital at the same time he sent the pediatrician and eye doctor.
We've been putting sunglasses on her to try and get her used to wearing something. It will be interesting as I'm sure she will need glasses... Oh! My favourite is when I get her dizzy during our prebedtime dance parties and her one eye goes all wonky from being unable to focus! WoW! The first time I saw that I kind of had my heart jump into my throat! Hilarious now, though!
Ok, so this week we took her to the community pool to try her out and she loved it. I had a HUGE round of "oh, she's so small," in the women's locker room. Sigh. Just the beginning. I told them the quick version on her story and she pointed out her eyes and they all forgot how small she was. Beautiful. I suspect we will get a lot of that now that we are going out more with her. Just have to say that aunt Candy made her a monkey hat and it was almost too small so she's not THAT small! (Such a cute hat too! Dania could pull the ears when asking where her ears were!)
We also had our first round of strangers mentioning genetic looks too! LOL! We went to vote and she received a future voter sticker, which she was completely enthralled with, and just sat quietly and played in a chair off to the side with whomever wasn't in the booth, and the lady running our poll was so impressed with Dania's calmness. Then Dania started 'flirting' a little - her definition of flirting is to show you where her hair is and ask for a fist bump. The lady kept telling her how pretty she was and made comments about whose side the looks came from... we just smiled and laughed. As I buckled Dania into the car I conspiratorially stated how we were going to fool a lot of people in the future and it will be our joke to giggle at afterwards! I think that's the angle I'm going to go with for those situations where we don't bother explaining since it really doesn't matter to a 2-minute stranger.
We also went to our first party with her. This was a birthday party for our friends' daughter turning 3. Dania had met 3 of the kids that would be there and we dressed her up in a cute outfit (now that some of the bigger clothes are fitting!) and went over wondering how she would react since it was the first big crowd of little kids since the orphanage. Well, she spent the night trying to kiss the dogs (3 of them ranging in size from 6 pounds to 85 pounds), slowly circling the whole scene, and playing beside a kid who would sit still for a few minutes. I was soooo happy and, again, impressed with how well she did! She honestly did not seem upset in the least and also didn't seem like she was out to please anyone (a coping mechanism I'm on the look out for) and just had fun! She had no problem going to sleep after and also didn't shy away from people. She is so amazing. Yes, I'm biased, but I really have to wonder what's going through her head, and I know others think that too, but she is just so chill! She also expressed an affinity for the kid-sized foam chairs so we had to go get her one. I was looking up where to buy them and at one place they happened to be on sale so we just went for it and I am so excited for her to find it in the morning! She sat and bounced herself in it for a long time. I'm hoping she will sit with her books in it.
She is starting to point to thinks in her books now. She loves flipping pages and is pretty rough with the cardboard books but she will point to something specific and say, "ghka-ghka," and wait for me to say the name of the picture and then turn to another. Things like that make me antsy to get to the ENT doctor but I have to remember that she was losing her Russian and then gaining her English. A normal human, on average, wouldn't start the 'ga-ga-ing' at specific thing like she is saying what it is at 7 weeks. She really could still just be absorbing. She makes the L, M, K, G, H, sounds so it's just a matter of practice and exposure.
Ok, That's all for tonight... well, it's morning now, but we spent the Sunday night at our friends' playing board games and we put her down there and then do the sleep transfer after a few hours and I just HAD the need to blog right now! I wanted to get this stuff in before all of the appointments. This will be a big week for entries, I'm sure.
xoxo
Well, this is a big week coming up. We have our social worker 'play date,' (we've been calling it that because we both know that there aren't any issues and this added first report is unwarranted) tomorrow. We have the eye doctor on Tuesday and the pediatrician on Thursday. I'm hoping the pediatrician will have a better idea for a timeline for the ENT doctor since my GP said he really doesn't know or have a patient reference. He just sent the referral to the hospital at the same time he sent the pediatrician and eye doctor.
We've been putting sunglasses on her to try and get her used to wearing something. It will be interesting as I'm sure she will need glasses... Oh! My favourite is when I get her dizzy during our prebedtime dance parties and her one eye goes all wonky from being unable to focus! WoW! The first time I saw that I kind of had my heart jump into my throat! Hilarious now, though!
Ok, so this week we took her to the community pool to try her out and she loved it. I had a HUGE round of "oh, she's so small," in the women's locker room. Sigh. Just the beginning. I told them the quick version on her story and she pointed out her eyes and they all forgot how small she was. Beautiful. I suspect we will get a lot of that now that we are going out more with her. Just have to say that aunt Candy made her a monkey hat and it was almost too small so she's not THAT small! (Such a cute hat too! Dania could pull the ears when asking where her ears were!)
We also had our first round of strangers mentioning genetic looks too! LOL! We went to vote and she received a future voter sticker, which she was completely enthralled with, and just sat quietly and played in a chair off to the side with whomever wasn't in the booth, and the lady running our poll was so impressed with Dania's calmness. Then Dania started 'flirting' a little - her definition of flirting is to show you where her hair is and ask for a fist bump. The lady kept telling her how pretty she was and made comments about whose side the looks came from... we just smiled and laughed. As I buckled Dania into the car I conspiratorially stated how we were going to fool a lot of people in the future and it will be our joke to giggle at afterwards! I think that's the angle I'm going to go with for those situations where we don't bother explaining since it really doesn't matter to a 2-minute stranger.
We also went to our first party with her. This was a birthday party for our friends' daughter turning 3. Dania had met 3 of the kids that would be there and we dressed her up in a cute outfit (now that some of the bigger clothes are fitting!) and went over wondering how she would react since it was the first big crowd of little kids since the orphanage. Well, she spent the night trying to kiss the dogs (3 of them ranging in size from 6 pounds to 85 pounds), slowly circling the whole scene, and playing beside a kid who would sit still for a few minutes. I was soooo happy and, again, impressed with how well she did! She honestly did not seem upset in the least and also didn't seem like she was out to please anyone (a coping mechanism I'm on the look out for) and just had fun! She had no problem going to sleep after and also didn't shy away from people. She is so amazing. Yes, I'm biased, but I really have to wonder what's going through her head, and I know others think that too, but she is just so chill! She also expressed an affinity for the kid-sized foam chairs so we had to go get her one. I was looking up where to buy them and at one place they happened to be on sale so we just went for it and I am so excited for her to find it in the morning! She sat and bounced herself in it for a long time. I'm hoping she will sit with her books in it.
She is starting to point to thinks in her books now. She loves flipping pages and is pretty rough with the cardboard books but she will point to something specific and say, "ghka-ghka," and wait for me to say the name of the picture and then turn to another. Things like that make me antsy to get to the ENT doctor but I have to remember that she was losing her Russian and then gaining her English. A normal human, on average, wouldn't start the 'ga-ga-ing' at specific thing like she is saying what it is at 7 weeks. She really could still just be absorbing. She makes the L, M, K, G, H, sounds so it's just a matter of practice and exposure.
Ok, That's all for tonight... well, it's morning now, but we spent the Sunday night at our friends' playing board games and we put her down there and then do the sleep transfer after a few hours and I just HAD the need to blog right now! I wanted to get this stuff in before all of the appointments. This will be a big week for entries, I'm sure.
xoxo
Her new "uh-oh" face.
After swimming.
Daily walks with sunglasses now.
Being pulled around by Erik at the party.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
For Impatient Sisters...
I only have one!!! She says I need to stop loafing around and blog already!
Laziness or jet lag... you tell HER after reading this.
I am still tired. guh. But oh, so, happy. I KNOW this was the right decision because to me it feels like she has been here always. I emphasize the knowing because I started to question this decision after the court hearing. Not because it was now final, but because the prosecutor asked if we would regret this decision because we were so young and could feel in five years that this high needs child would be a mistake. I had no doubts going into it but you can bet your sweet bottoms that I started to at that point.
Then, at the airport in Toronto, Dad says to me that he could tell I was a great mom for her already. Done with the questioning. After day one and how well she has fit here, done with the worrying (well, the worries about this being the right decision...)! It seriously feels to me that she has been here for her whole life so far. Other than her not understanding us and us not knowing so many little things about her likes and dislikes, because they are already established, we have slipped back into Canada with no hiccups.
We woke up around 5 am yesterday morning (Moscow time), traveled to the airport, went through passport control with no problems, and got on the plane. I never again want to do that long plane ride with a child who is so unfamiliar with change. She was so overstimulated and cranky and seriously did not sleep longer than 1 hour and 15 minutes, not in one stint, and I just felt so bad for how cranky and exhausted and upset she was getting on the plane. Her cries were easy to muffle so I didn't give a care about the surrounding people, and she's not large enough to hit the seat in front so that wasn't an issue either. We were all tired when we landed in Toronto.
I started crying as soon as the wheels hit the runway upon landing. I didn't expect too... thought I was too tired. But I looked at Dania and said 'you are home'. I looked at Mike and we were both grinning. Customs was a breeze, the immigration officer we had was so nice and excited for us, it was just a smooth procedure.
I was then excited to see the family! Yeah! Mum was there first and then Dad, and then my sister and cousin. It was great. Dania was tired but she was so watchful. As soon as we sat down she was all cute and flirty and kissing people and fist bumping and being her great self.
The same could have been said for Halifax if it hadn't been 7 hours later and she was Extremely exhausted. She did give them a few fist bumps and smiles, but she hit the car seat and fell asleep within ten minutes. She woke up and was excited to see the bathtub, and then was out like a light as soon as she was lowered into the crib. She didn't even move and she is normally traveling all over the crib while she sleeps! She slept 8 hours still and didn't have a massive freakout when she woke in a different place... it must feel right to her too.
She has spent the day puttering around here, meeting a few new faces, but mostly finding her places in the house and still being her cute self, of course. She definitely knows Mike and me and smiles huge when she sees one of us. I love that. She also is really comfortable and relaxed being put into all these new rooms and fixtures around the house. It will be fun to find out what food she likes (steak, we found out tonight) and to get her routine here now that she can have more room to run around and a yard to play in! And friends that don't spend every minute of the day with you! LOL!
Other than the crying baby on the plane (mine, if there was any misunderstanding about how upset she was) the whole trip went smoother than any other. In 6 - 8 weeks her permanent resident card will be here and we can start her official immigration process!
Laziness or jet lag... you tell HER after reading this.
I am still tired. guh. But oh, so, happy. I KNOW this was the right decision because to me it feels like she has been here always. I emphasize the knowing because I started to question this decision after the court hearing. Not because it was now final, but because the prosecutor asked if we would regret this decision because we were so young and could feel in five years that this high needs child would be a mistake. I had no doubts going into it but you can bet your sweet bottoms that I started to at that point.
Then, at the airport in Toronto, Dad says to me that he could tell I was a great mom for her already. Done with the questioning. After day one and how well she has fit here, done with the worrying (well, the worries about this being the right decision...)! It seriously feels to me that she has been here for her whole life so far. Other than her not understanding us and us not knowing so many little things about her likes and dislikes, because they are already established, we have slipped back into Canada with no hiccups.
We woke up around 5 am yesterday morning (Moscow time), traveled to the airport, went through passport control with no problems, and got on the plane. I never again want to do that long plane ride with a child who is so unfamiliar with change. She was so overstimulated and cranky and seriously did not sleep longer than 1 hour and 15 minutes, not in one stint, and I just felt so bad for how cranky and exhausted and upset she was getting on the plane. Her cries were easy to muffle so I didn't give a care about the surrounding people, and she's not large enough to hit the seat in front so that wasn't an issue either. We were all tired when we landed in Toronto.
I started crying as soon as the wheels hit the runway upon landing. I didn't expect too... thought I was too tired. But I looked at Dania and said 'you are home'. I looked at Mike and we were both grinning. Customs was a breeze, the immigration officer we had was so nice and excited for us, it was just a smooth procedure.
I was then excited to see the family! Yeah! Mum was there first and then Dad, and then my sister and cousin. It was great. Dania was tired but she was so watchful. As soon as we sat down she was all cute and flirty and kissing people and fist bumping and being her great self.
The same could have been said for Halifax if it hadn't been 7 hours later and she was Extremely exhausted. She did give them a few fist bumps and smiles, but she hit the car seat and fell asleep within ten minutes. She woke up and was excited to see the bathtub, and then was out like a light as soon as she was lowered into the crib. She didn't even move and she is normally traveling all over the crib while she sleeps! She slept 8 hours still and didn't have a massive freakout when she woke in a different place... it must feel right to her too.
She has spent the day puttering around here, meeting a few new faces, but mostly finding her places in the house and still being her cute self, of course. She definitely knows Mike and me and smiles huge when she sees one of us. I love that. She also is really comfortable and relaxed being put into all these new rooms and fixtures around the house. It will be fun to find out what food she likes (steak, we found out tonight) and to get her routine here now that she can have more room to run around and a yard to play in! And friends that don't spend every minute of the day with you! LOL!
Other than the crying baby on the plane (mine, if there was any misunderstanding about how upset she was) the whole trip went smoother than any other. In 6 - 8 weeks her permanent resident card will be here and we can start her official immigration process!
her one 45 minute long stretch of sleep on the plane
her performing for everyone at the toronto airport
her asleep at the end of her 22 hour long day!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Meanwhile, in Moscow...
The internet has been out so I am posting all days I was MIA all at once, while I sip a coffee in the Dunkin' Donuts across the street and scam on their wifi!
Sunday.
She slept 9 hours! I know I keep mistakenly thinking in newborn terms for things, like she should be up several times a night, but she's new to me so you can see where I blur the lines. It was a quick morning of walking practice before she crawled into the bedroom, threw Boublik into the crib, and pointed at me to be lifted up. Just like that, nap for three hours! Not only do I believe she never slept enough, but I KNOW she never ate enough. We are discovering with her that she does feel full really quickly because of air intake with her food, so we will be giving her smaller meals at quicker intervals instead of packing as much in before she starts to cry a la the orphanage. She will get fussy if it is packing into her nasal passages and refuse to eat more. This will also cause her to sneeze more and then it is like the play d'oh factory... yikes!
After lunch, we walked the old Arbat pedestrian area with D and S and G. I think they liked seeing each other again! Both girls looked happy. Dania was in the carrier with Mike and was doing really well until she just got too hot and sweaty being against him. We all sat down and had a drink or two and then went home for naps.
After nap and dinner she was more than excited to have her bath as she kept crawling into the bathroom every chance she got! She always goes to bed easy, I think she is used to being put in the crib and left. She will warm up to the cuddles, I hope! I was sitting and listening to her talk to herself for an hour and a half before going to sleep. She just loves it. I'm willing to bet it is a first for her as she has never slept alone like this before! All of a sudden she can imagine whatever and as squeelingly happily as she wants without disturbing anyone or being disturbed!!!
Monday.
207 days to the Olympics as per the big countdown in the city center!
It cooled down with the rain and thunder last night so we decided to go for along trek right after breakfast. Mike wanted to don the carrier again and we bundled her up a bit more so she was toasty but not sweaty. We took her to some of the famous spots, the Kremlin wall, the Red Square, St. Basil's, the Bolshoi Theatre, so she can know she visited her homeland's capital's hot spots. She fell asleep right after the cathedral and just slept against Mike until we stopped to eat. What a cutie. After lunch we went to Alexander's Garden, the place with all the water fountains and pretty flowers from our first trip here. I figured she'd like the fountains since she loves the tub. Did she ever! Loved them so much we had to leave because we wouldn't let her go in them or drink from them!
After lunch and naps, all around, we did a lot of walking practice. She is getting sooooo much sturdier. We are both very impressed. She was also a bit more independent today with the food...just a bit though, she fed herself some pieces of grilled cheese, Mike did more though. Later on she fed herself all of the banana and apple we cut up; she was getting delightfully frustrated with the slimey banana. Then at dinner she did a few bits of chicken and wanted the rest fed to her. She did pick up the empty spoon and put it in her mouth a few times though. I don't think she's ever had to hold a spoon! We are also really trying to encourage her independent drinking. It is at the point now where she will pick the water up off the table and hand it to us if she wants some. When playing, she has actually done it a few times on her own. Lots and lots of changes and she is adapting well.
After another fun bath we had her into bed and cooing to herself without problem. Music to my ears. She just sounds so happy playing with her reflection and the Boublik stuffy. We've actually heard it talk a few times without us squeezing it but we don't think she has figured a consistent way to activate it on her own, just luck. She loves him though! Mmmm, I'm going to sleep with the smell Johnson & Johnson in my nose and her coos ringing in my ears! I love it!
Tuesday.
This whole no internet thing really sucks, especially when waiting to hear if you have to change your flights and find accommodations! We won't have to, by the way. Fantastic relief. The visas should have been finished today and O will take them to the consulate tomorrow.
I am sick. I don't know if I caught it from Dani's cold or if I just had a lucky draw. I woke up in the night feeling like I was swallowing glass. Blah. I tried to shake it off with a walk while she was napping but no luck. I was useless today.
We have been working hard on the walking and I am proud (but nowhere near as proud as Dani) to say she IS walking! She isn't just back and forth between me and Mike, now she can get up and go on her own, steady herself, and kind of steer. We just need to work on turning on the spot. Four days was all it took for her to get that she can do it on her own.
She is also getting more comfortable with eating herself. She still prefers to be fed but we try to only do that with soup, yogurt, porridge. Loves bananas and banana yogurt.
She even likes getting her teeth brushed! The only thing she hates is us wiping her nose or mouth. She also loves making the 'h' sound. She will do it while she walks now. Kind of sounds like a dog panting...
Wednesday
She slept ten hours and I'm fairly certain she was sore from all the walking and getting up from a squat position. We decided to take her to the Moscow zoo. She slept. We enjoyed the nice day and Mike revelled in the fact that Dania slept on him for an hour. She did get a chance to mimic then parrots who were louder than a dump truck in a nitro glycerin plant (reference anyone?).
When we got home and ate she immediately began being upset and we could tell it was the belly. Pore girl. It didn't get better until after dinner and her relief was akin to a state of elated drunkeness. She couldn't walk straight and was extra goofy until the fingers went to the mouth. She settled happily in bed, thank goodness, since she had no real naps today.
She is just the best!
Sunday.
She slept 9 hours! I know I keep mistakenly thinking in newborn terms for things, like she should be up several times a night, but she's new to me so you can see where I blur the lines. It was a quick morning of walking practice before she crawled into the bedroom, threw Boublik into the crib, and pointed at me to be lifted up. Just like that, nap for three hours! Not only do I believe she never slept enough, but I KNOW she never ate enough. We are discovering with her that she does feel full really quickly because of air intake with her food, so we will be giving her smaller meals at quicker intervals instead of packing as much in before she starts to cry a la the orphanage. She will get fussy if it is packing into her nasal passages and refuse to eat more. This will also cause her to sneeze more and then it is like the play d'oh factory... yikes!
After lunch, we walked the old Arbat pedestrian area with D and S and G. I think they liked seeing each other again! Both girls looked happy. Dania was in the carrier with Mike and was doing really well until she just got too hot and sweaty being against him. We all sat down and had a drink or two and then went home for naps.
After nap and dinner she was more than excited to have her bath as she kept crawling into the bathroom every chance she got! She always goes to bed easy, I think she is used to being put in the crib and left. She will warm up to the cuddles, I hope! I was sitting and listening to her talk to herself for an hour and a half before going to sleep. She just loves it. I'm willing to bet it is a first for her as she has never slept alone like this before! All of a sudden she can imagine whatever and as squeelingly happily as she wants without disturbing anyone or being disturbed!!!
Monday.
207 days to the Olympics as per the big countdown in the city center!
It cooled down with the rain and thunder last night so we decided to go for along trek right after breakfast. Mike wanted to don the carrier again and we bundled her up a bit more so she was toasty but not sweaty. We took her to some of the famous spots, the Kremlin wall, the Red Square, St. Basil's, the Bolshoi Theatre, so she can know she visited her homeland's capital's hot spots. She fell asleep right after the cathedral and just slept against Mike until we stopped to eat. What a cutie. After lunch we went to Alexander's Garden, the place with all the water fountains and pretty flowers from our first trip here. I figured she'd like the fountains since she loves the tub. Did she ever! Loved them so much we had to leave because we wouldn't let her go in them or drink from them!
After lunch and naps, all around, we did a lot of walking practice. She is getting sooooo much sturdier. We are both very impressed. She was also a bit more independent today with the food...just a bit though, she fed herself some pieces of grilled cheese, Mike did more though. Later on she fed herself all of the banana and apple we cut up; she was getting delightfully frustrated with the slimey banana. Then at dinner she did a few bits of chicken and wanted the rest fed to her. She did pick up the empty spoon and put it in her mouth a few times though. I don't think she's ever had to hold a spoon! We are also really trying to encourage her independent drinking. It is at the point now where she will pick the water up off the table and hand it to us if she wants some. When playing, she has actually done it a few times on her own. Lots and lots of changes and she is adapting well.
After another fun bath we had her into bed and cooing to herself without problem. Music to my ears. She just sounds so happy playing with her reflection and the Boublik stuffy. We've actually heard it talk a few times without us squeezing it but we don't think she has figured a consistent way to activate it on her own, just luck. She loves him though! Mmmm, I'm going to sleep with the smell Johnson & Johnson in my nose and her coos ringing in my ears! I love it!
Tuesday.
This whole no internet thing really sucks, especially when waiting to hear if you have to change your flights and find accommodations! We won't have to, by the way. Fantastic relief. The visas should have been finished today and O will take them to the consulate tomorrow.
I am sick. I don't know if I caught it from Dani's cold or if I just had a lucky draw. I woke up in the night feeling like I was swallowing glass. Blah. I tried to shake it off with a walk while she was napping but no luck. I was useless today.
We have been working hard on the walking and I am proud (but nowhere near as proud as Dani) to say she IS walking! She isn't just back and forth between me and Mike, now she can get up and go on her own, steady herself, and kind of steer. We just need to work on turning on the spot. Four days was all it took for her to get that she can do it on her own.
She is also getting more comfortable with eating herself. She still prefers to be fed but we try to only do that with soup, yogurt, porridge. Loves bananas and banana yogurt.
She even likes getting her teeth brushed! The only thing she hates is us wiping her nose or mouth. She also loves making the 'h' sound. She will do it while she walks now. Kind of sounds like a dog panting...
Wednesday
She slept ten hours and I'm fairly certain she was sore from all the walking and getting up from a squat position. We decided to take her to the Moscow zoo. She slept. We enjoyed the nice day and Mike revelled in the fact that Dania slept on him for an hour. She did get a chance to mimic then parrots who were louder than a dump truck in a nitro glycerin plant (reference anyone?).
When we got home and ate she immediately began being upset and we could tell it was the belly. Pore girl. It didn't get better until after dinner and her relief was akin to a state of elated drunkeness. She couldn't walk straight and was extra goofy until the fingers went to the mouth. She settled happily in bed, thank goodness, since she had no real naps today.
She is just the best!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Day 2
Mike finally got to see her and she rememered him too! Reached right for him! I loved it! It's raining nonstop today so we got to play in the party room upstairs and then the fun room this afternoon. I sat with Dania at the grand piano and she really like playing. I would press a key and she would try to do the same one (I say try because she would use an open palm so she would hit the surrounding keys too)! We got to feed her dinner and she was wonderful during that.
cute dress!
Really? Still taking my pic?
I don't know why Jen, but this face makes me think of Dylan!
cute dress!
We also said good bye to our team of reps tonight. I cried (of course). They have been so wonderful this whole time. E said she was really happy for us and it warms her soul to see how Dania has changed since 'bathing in our love'. I can't believe it's almost all over! Tomorrow will be a normal day of two visits, while we repack in between, and then we leave for Moscow on Friday! We also went over all of our documents and their translations today. We have quite the stack!
Official certificate of adoption!!!
Our wonderful host is going to prepare some porridge for us to take on our trip so we don't have to rush out to buy food for her at night when we get there. We also will do a little market run tomorrow to grab some biscuits or something else we can pack for her. I am sooooo looking forward to not having to leave her inbetween naps!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
I Know THE Best People
I will never be able to express the relief and gratitude I felt when I came home and saw this:
and some friends hiding amidst the bounty of love from a whole lot of amazing people.
Now, I have to admit that we did know something was going on because in the Moscow airport we read a comment someone had made on a photo and then saw 5 other photos of cute t-shirts. I realized that people were helping us out and I turned to Mike with tears in my eyes and then he started crying. We had just had a horrible few hours struggling to get through to the travel agent and the apartment rental place. I was feeling overwhelmed and a little defeated. Seeing the picture of the I Love my Mommy shirt and other cute clothes made me calm down and feel better.
You all will never be able to understand how much this means to me. I have 8 more days here and they are going to be a lot less stressful than I imagined. I have gone through everything and it is all wonderful and perfect.
The trip is now over and it won't be long until the third trip is upon me and then HOME!
Now, I have to admit that we did know something was going on because in the Moscow airport we read a comment someone had made on a photo and then saw 5 other photos of cute t-shirts. I realized that people were helping us out and I turned to Mike with tears in my eyes and then he started crying. We had just had a horrible few hours struggling to get through to the travel agent and the apartment rental place. I was feeling overwhelmed and a little defeated. Seeing the picture of the I Love my Mommy shirt and other cute clothes made me calm down and feel better.
You all will never be able to understand how much this means to me. I have 8 more days here and they are going to be a lot less stressful than I imagined. I have gone through everything and it is all wonderful and perfect.
The trip is now over and it won't be long until the third trip is upon me and then HOME!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
First Family Photo
Our first official family photograph.
we look a little happy, eh?
July 24th will be family day for sure. It technically isn't offical until the 6th of August, but this is the day we were congratulated by the judge!
She weighs 15-ish pounds. Her dress said size 1... I don't know how their sizing compairs to ours though. 18-24 months would work. She is tiny weight but she is tall. Size 3 diaper still (again, size 3 here, 15 pounds).
It was wonderful hugging and kissing her this afternoon!
Yeah yeah yeah!
Monday, July 22, 2013
Day 3 and Mind Blown
Just got back from our evening visit which was much more active than the morning one...
We just kind of hid on a swing and pretended she was awake and let her nap. She obviously needed it if she did that 20minutes into our visit!
This evening though, we did laps of the building and sang and danced. She now mimicks our clapping and feet stomping. As soon as she is in our arms she is reaching for our mouths so we can make noise and pat her hand on it so it "warbles." You know what I mean, right? I can't explain it properly.
Now for the mind blow! This would definitely NOT have happened if the couple from Ontario hadn't been with us. They adopted a few years ago befor the wait times changed. The judge has agreed that if we are awarded custody we can take her after only 10 days! HOLY TIME DIFFERENCE, BATMAN! This means, if we are granted custody and no one appeals she is officially ours on August 6th and we are to take her to Moscow from the baby home August 9th, and then we will be back in Canada by, probably, the 16th. Then they went to the passport officials and negotieated getting the passports made in 1 or 2 days! We were instantly overjoyed and then looked at each other with panic in our eyes. How the heck are we going get all we need and flights and hotel in Moscow with only 11 days and one pay in between!?!?! Then we look at her - it will happen. Just look at that face:
...how can we NOT make it happen? My "due" date just was shortened by 4 weeks! The reps and lawyer seem confident that this will all work out. I'm a little nervous, except I don't feel it at all with her - but, heck, I'm a mom, I worry!
It's time to make lists of things to get. Good 14 hour layover activity hahaha!
This shorter wait time also is better for her remembering us! She is always reaching up to be held so I'm hoping the 11 days we won't see her will be short enough that she will reach for us when we see her in August! If not, she will at least remember a lot quicker than she did after 2 months. I love her!
And I love watching her and Mike together!
Ok, we go over the hearing procedures tomorrow and then it's court the next day. Let's tackle that now.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
She's Got Personality! Day 2 part 2
Holy moly! She showed us who she really is tonight! Normally I wouldn't post twice in the same day, but I had to get all this out as I'm busting with happy! She was like a different kid and she had us laughing our butts off! She was trying so hard to run around, she was launching herself off of the little stage area into our arms, she was tipping over backwards in a trust-fall style, and she was singing, hooting, and hollering all over the place! I think this was the real Dania and she is telling us she is 100% comfortable with us! I wish I could post the videos to this, but they will have to wait until facebook when I get home. She was mimicking me and 'telling' us what she wanted to do. It was wonderful to see this! You could add up all her hoots and coos from all previous days and it wouldn't add up to the fun she was squeeling out today!
She would turn, look at whoever was sitting across from her, smile and then launch herself towards them.
And for all of those who have asked about her celft. She was laughing so hard that I got several photos of it. You can see how her gum line is all in tact, but beyond the gum line it is missing and you can see straight up to the back of the nose.
I love this kid!
She could not turn around fast enough so she could run to the other person!
She kept climbing up to be tickled or to pat her hand on our mouth while we made noise.
She kept throwing herself backwards and then wanting to be tickled!
She thought mimicking tongue sticking out was hilarious. We then tried the raspberries on the belly again. She didn't laugh at it, but she kept patting her belly to indicate more.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
And Then She Was There...
...and nothing else mattered.
REWIND 48 HOURS
After hanging up with my sister just before boarding the plane, I was thinking about how she said Mum said I seemed too calm. I was an internal wreck... just had to maintain sanity so they would let me out of the country and into two others! Seriously, it has been such a roller coaster that I feel exhasted. I was excited to leave. I was beyond ecstatic to see Dania again. I was nervous about connections. I cried myself to sleep the night before because I was so happy to be going finally!
In JFK I started crying because I was thinking about the future and how to announce it was 'official' once the appeal period was over. It makes me so happy to think I could do that one day next month! Then, on the plain to Moscow (which was delayed and making me nervous because our connection was going to be quite close) the fear took over. What if this was court didn't go well? What if someone from her family appealed the custody? What if this was the last trip we would ever make to see her? I cannot begin to explain the gut-wrenching, heart-draining sorrow at the thought of saying good bye to her for the last time EVER on Thursday. It is so unknown that I couldn't stop dwelling on it and I cried for a good three hours straight on the plane. Oh, dear. I didn't sleep hardly, I felt like vomiting almost constantly, I had just unearthed this all-consuming fear and it was awful.
We landed in Moscow and made the connection with only a little time to spare. We made up an hour in the air, thankfully. We landed in Ufa and as soon as I saw our driver, A, waiting for us I began to smile. As I stepped out into the Ufa air I started crying again because it felt like returning to a place as familiar and comfortable as home. I pretended to sleep from the airport to Sterlitimak, but I was really watching the countryside through my sunglasses while silently weeping from expectation.
I did sleep - from sheer exhaustion - but when I woke up the butterflies were back and so were the tears in the car on the way to the orphanage. There was no one in the office to answer our doorbell rings and just knowing she was in the building and we were unknown and outside made my heart hurt. Shortly, someone answered. I didn't recognize her and didn't understand her. The doctor came out and recognized us and directed us upstairs and we realized this is the moment we were waiting for.
And then she was there and nothing else mattered.
Damn, I'm crying now too! But because I can't stop smiling and I'm so happy I can share this finally!
She was clearly overwhelmed once in my arms. She wasn't as stressed as last time but the change in routine had upset her and the crocodile tears started. We knew we would have to take it slow and hope that she would eventually remember us. We set her down with some toys and the lack of head rubbing was glaringly apparent. She was obviously more comfortable. When she was on the ground, and a little more distanced, she stopped the tears and began to play hesitantly. I sang the whole time and within the hour she was smiling at us, handing us toys, inviting us to play with her, crawling a little, reaching out to be held, and just being wonderful. Sigh. I love her so much.
She looks a little more solid. She isn't walking on her own but can hold just one hand and walk with much steadier legs. Her hair is a bit longer, fuller, lighter, and she looks a tiny bit tanned.
She was definitely way more relaxed on this first day than she was by the end of day 2 last trip. She was cooing very quietly and clearly enjoying the one-on-one time. She spent a looooong time staring at my teeth! LOL! I think she remembers those more than anything else ha ha ha!
So, now it is lunch break (and probably nap time for both of us). I didn't take a lot of photos because we didn't want to overwhelm her, but I HAD to, of course. For your viewing pleasure...
REWIND 48 HOURS
After hanging up with my sister just before boarding the plane, I was thinking about how she said Mum said I seemed too calm. I was an internal wreck... just had to maintain sanity so they would let me out of the country and into two others! Seriously, it has been such a roller coaster that I feel exhasted. I was excited to leave. I was beyond ecstatic to see Dania again. I was nervous about connections. I cried myself to sleep the night before because I was so happy to be going finally!
In JFK I started crying because I was thinking about the future and how to announce it was 'official' once the appeal period was over. It makes me so happy to think I could do that one day next month! Then, on the plain to Moscow (which was delayed and making me nervous because our connection was going to be quite close) the fear took over. What if this was court didn't go well? What if someone from her family appealed the custody? What if this was the last trip we would ever make to see her? I cannot begin to explain the gut-wrenching, heart-draining sorrow at the thought of saying good bye to her for the last time EVER on Thursday. It is so unknown that I couldn't stop dwelling on it and I cried for a good three hours straight on the plane. Oh, dear. I didn't sleep hardly, I felt like vomiting almost constantly, I had just unearthed this all-consuming fear and it was awful.
We landed in Moscow and made the connection with only a little time to spare. We made up an hour in the air, thankfully. We landed in Ufa and as soon as I saw our driver, A, waiting for us I began to smile. As I stepped out into the Ufa air I started crying again because it felt like returning to a place as familiar and comfortable as home. I pretended to sleep from the airport to Sterlitimak, but I was really watching the countryside through my sunglasses while silently weeping from expectation.
I did sleep - from sheer exhaustion - but when I woke up the butterflies were back and so were the tears in the car on the way to the orphanage. There was no one in the office to answer our doorbell rings and just knowing she was in the building and we were unknown and outside made my heart hurt. Shortly, someone answered. I didn't recognize her and didn't understand her. The doctor came out and recognized us and directed us upstairs and we realized this is the moment we were waiting for.
And then she was there and nothing else mattered.
Damn, I'm crying now too! But because I can't stop smiling and I'm so happy I can share this finally!
She was clearly overwhelmed once in my arms. She wasn't as stressed as last time but the change in routine had upset her and the crocodile tears started. We knew we would have to take it slow and hope that she would eventually remember us. We set her down with some toys and the lack of head rubbing was glaringly apparent. She was obviously more comfortable. When she was on the ground, and a little more distanced, she stopped the tears and began to play hesitantly. I sang the whole time and within the hour she was smiling at us, handing us toys, inviting us to play with her, crawling a little, reaching out to be held, and just being wonderful. Sigh. I love her so much.
She looks a little more solid. She isn't walking on her own but can hold just one hand and walk with much steadier legs. Her hair is a bit longer, fuller, lighter, and she looks a tiny bit tanned.
She was definitely way more relaxed on this first day than she was by the end of day 2 last trip. She was cooing very quietly and clearly enjoying the one-on-one time. She spent a looooong time staring at my teeth! LOL! I think she remembers those more than anything else ha ha ha!
So, now it is lunch break (and probably nap time for both of us). I didn't take a lot of photos because we didn't want to overwhelm her, but I HAD to, of course. For your viewing pleasure...
The big tears and small bit of fear.
Then the smile we know and love was being flashed at us very soon... and I know mine is probably just as big!
Friday, June 28, 2013
Movement.
Holy Moly! The first month after our visit flew by! The last two weeks? CRAWLED like a dehydrated snail!
I had emailed CHOC a few times and asked if there was a standard notice time, ie. if our appointment was July 20, would we hear 2 weeks before? 3 weeks?
There is no standard. Blah.
I had a little cry on a cousin's virtual shoulder yesterday. I miss her more than I let on. I'm sad because I'm forget the way she feels and sounds and smells. I want to bink my nose on hers to make her giggle. I want to be her mother, dangit!
That aside, today we received an email from CHOC saying that the embassy has received a letter confirming Dania is eligible for immigration! Yeah! This letter, unbeknownst to us, had to be processed in London, England and then sent back. So, four different recipients along the way, in 4 different time zones, makes for a long transaction. This letter states that there is nothing medically that should exclude Dania from immigrating. With that, and the Letter of No Objection from Canada, we should be good to get our date soon! I didn't even know we had to have this other document. It makes sense (now) that they wouldn't schedule a custody hearing for a child if they are unaware if she is allowed to immigrate! She is! Yeah! So, we signed the document and just posted it so CHOC will receive it on Tuesday and then they can send it off right away.
The downside to today's email... I have been SO organized and on top of the dates of our documents and what needs to be done and payments and everything! I blew it! HUGE! $6000 huge! To go into financial detail of this process (just for the fees, mind you) the agency fee is $6500. That pays for the people at CHOC, their time, their building, their knowledge and their trust. There were a few fees on top of that for individual documents, etc. The Russian fee is $18,000 USD. First, we sent the agency their fee when we started the process and sent them our full application. Our second lump of $6000 was made when we sent our completed home study, and therefore our approval from Canada, to CHOC for them to translate and send to Russia (hence the Russian fees). The next chunk of $6000 was upon acceptance of a proposal, so, this was done up in November with the first proposal, and then sat in the bank until we were ready to actually go over. We handed that to the Rep in Ufa, for her to pay Russia. Now, in my own pitiful defence, Mike was in the same frame of mind as me. We've paid 18000... not remembering that the first lump was for just the agency... GAH! I feel awful that I let that get overlooked. Our guardian angel helped again, big time. The cheque has been written, and by Tuesday the funds will be there. I feel like the asking for the final chunk of fees means that Russian wheels are turning... this will be lawyer fees, court fees, translator fees, the social worker who observes us for a day, etc, etc, etc... always more etc...
Big breath.
It's in the mail, it's being handled, it's never going to feel like we can thank the people who have helped us out enough! The extra support is unbelievable and so, so appreciated. As I said in a previous post, I imagine sending thank you cards from her when this is all said and done... and that scares me to think that because she's still not ours until 30 days AFTER court. HOPEFULLY!
I had emailed CHOC a few times and asked if there was a standard notice time, ie. if our appointment was July 20, would we hear 2 weeks before? 3 weeks?
There is no standard. Blah.
I had a little cry on a cousin's virtual shoulder yesterday. I miss her more than I let on. I'm sad because I'm forget the way she feels and sounds and smells. I want to bink my nose on hers to make her giggle. I want to be her mother, dangit!
That aside, today we received an email from CHOC saying that the embassy has received a letter confirming Dania is eligible for immigration! Yeah! This letter, unbeknownst to us, had to be processed in London, England and then sent back. So, four different recipients along the way, in 4 different time zones, makes for a long transaction. This letter states that there is nothing medically that should exclude Dania from immigrating. With that, and the Letter of No Objection from Canada, we should be good to get our date soon! I didn't even know we had to have this other document. It makes sense (now) that they wouldn't schedule a custody hearing for a child if they are unaware if she is allowed to immigrate! She is! Yeah! So, we signed the document and just posted it so CHOC will receive it on Tuesday and then they can send it off right away.
The downside to today's email... I have been SO organized and on top of the dates of our documents and what needs to be done and payments and everything! I blew it! HUGE! $6000 huge! To go into financial detail of this process (just for the fees, mind you) the agency fee is $6500. That pays for the people at CHOC, their time, their building, their knowledge and their trust. There were a few fees on top of that for individual documents, etc. The Russian fee is $18,000 USD. First, we sent the agency their fee when we started the process and sent them our full application. Our second lump of $6000 was made when we sent our completed home study, and therefore our approval from Canada, to CHOC for them to translate and send to Russia (hence the Russian fees). The next chunk of $6000 was upon acceptance of a proposal, so, this was done up in November with the first proposal, and then sat in the bank until we were ready to actually go over. We handed that to the Rep in Ufa, for her to pay Russia. Now, in my own pitiful defence, Mike was in the same frame of mind as me. We've paid 18000... not remembering that the first lump was for just the agency... GAH! I feel awful that I let that get overlooked. Our guardian angel helped again, big time. The cheque has been written, and by Tuesday the funds will be there. I feel like the asking for the final chunk of fees means that Russian wheels are turning... this will be lawyer fees, court fees, translator fees, the social worker who observes us for a day, etc, etc, etc... always more etc...
Big breath.
It's in the mail, it's being handled, it's never going to feel like we can thank the people who have helped us out enough! The extra support is unbelievable and so, so appreciated. As I said in a previous post, I imagine sending thank you cards from her when this is all said and done... and that scares me to think that because she's still not ours until 30 days AFTER court. HOPEFULLY!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Totally Selfish!
I just spent a few wonderful days back home with the family. I had a cousin getting married down south and was unable to afford to attend so my father offered to fly me out to keep him and his parents company. Unfortunately, the grandparents were unable to attend due to insurance difficulties, so we all celebrated simultaneously with the southern bunch! Congratulations A & C!!!
Home has left me feeling soulfully elated. It was so weird for me to keep hearing how great of a thing I'm doing. I never know what to say when something like that is said to me. I mean, for example, my dad was speechless. Anyone who knows my father will know that that is a huge thing. He is always of an opinion. He couldn't form words to tell me what he wanted to say. He also said he was on the phone with his sister and she was the same way.
Honestly, this is not about saving a child. I'm doing this for purely selfish reasons. I'm doing this because I want to be a mum and I don't want to go through IVF. To me, this is my only option. It's all about the feeling I get thinking about holding her and playing with her. Totally selfish!
I'm also beginning to get more frightened by the fact that I feel like she is ours already. I hope that I don't jinx myself. I want her so bad! I'm making plans, I'm writing thank you cards from her, I'm visiting people. That scares me so much because she isn't yet even mine! I guess this scariness has been counteracted with the good feelings from the folks and the grandfolks because right now I just feel good.
I found the orphanage on Google Earth. I will post satellite pictures but I must do a few adjustments to keep the anonymity since it doesn't really have an address. It is hidden amidst some apartments and not visible from the street.
We also have our last training session tomorrow night!
Home has left me feeling soulfully elated. It was so weird for me to keep hearing how great of a thing I'm doing. I never know what to say when something like that is said to me. I mean, for example, my dad was speechless. Anyone who knows my father will know that that is a huge thing. He is always of an opinion. He couldn't form words to tell me what he wanted to say. He also said he was on the phone with his sister and she was the same way.
Honestly, this is not about saving a child. I'm doing this for purely selfish reasons. I'm doing this because I want to be a mum and I don't want to go through IVF. To me, this is my only option. It's all about the feeling I get thinking about holding her and playing with her. Totally selfish!
I'm also beginning to get more frightened by the fact that I feel like she is ours already. I hope that I don't jinx myself. I want her so bad! I'm making plans, I'm writing thank you cards from her, I'm visiting people. That scares me so much because she isn't yet even mine! I guess this scariness has been counteracted with the good feelings from the folks and the grandfolks because right now I just feel good.
I found the orphanage on Google Earth. I will post satellite pictures but I must do a few adjustments to keep the anonymity since it doesn't really have an address. It is hidden amidst some apartments and not visible from the street.
We also have our last training session tomorrow night!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Passport Photo
I received an email from our translator today. The team is in Sterlitamak with the couple from Richmond Hill. They took Dania's passport photo today. The translator took a photo of it and sent it to us!
I miss her.
It's been one week and one day since we returned.
I've had a few long conversations with my mum, sister, and a few friends here, but I've been rather reserved with my excitement. I do most of my big emotional blubbering while alone. One cousin called me on it today, and I have to admit that it is because I am still guarded about her being mine. She isn't yet and I don't want to jinx it! I keep it all in but then I randomly explode at random people and have to tell them everything! I did this with the receptionist at the vet, the hair dresser, and a random store clerk. I pull out the photos, can't stop talking, and usually start crying. As soon as I leave I feel guilty because I just got all excited and she isn't even mine. All of these people have asked to meet her when she is here... what if it doesn't happen? I also have so much excitement and eagerness drummed up amidst my family and friends... what if I disappoint them too? I know I shouldn't worry, but how can I not?!?!
GAH!
Back to the photo... sweetest passport photo ever...
It's been one week and one day since we returned.
I've had a few long conversations with my mum, sister, and a few friends here, but I've been rather reserved with my excitement. I do most of my big emotional blubbering while alone. One cousin called me on it today, and I have to admit that it is because I am still guarded about her being mine. She isn't yet and I don't want to jinx it! I keep it all in but then I randomly explode at random people and have to tell them everything! I did this with the receptionist at the vet, the hair dresser, and a random store clerk. I pull out the photos, can't stop talking, and usually start crying. As soon as I leave I feel guilty because I just got all excited and she isn't even mine. All of these people have asked to meet her when she is here... what if it doesn't happen? I also have so much excitement and eagerness drummed up amidst my family and friends... what if I disappoint them too? I know I shouldn't worry, but how can I not?!?!
GAH!
Back to the photo... sweetest passport photo ever...
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Day 4
We just left the orphanage for the last time this trip. Kind of a perfect ending so there were no tearful goodbyes:
I was singing "I've Just Seen a Face" and she just leaned in and relaxed completely and fell asleep!
We are now going to nap and then head to the airport for Moscow. I will go into all of the boring details I didn't provide yesterday lol!
First, as we were waiting for Dania to be brought to us this morning, we see a train of kids coming down the stairs (they have a railing specifically for tiny people on the main staircase!) and I make eye contact with the child at the head of the line. It was HIM! He has fairer hair, and even his eyes look lighter, but I knew it immediately. He smiled and said 'hi' in Russian. Then, outside, he kept running over to us. I didn't feel a tug in the heart or punch in the gut as I expected I would. I was just happy we saw him and he looked so happy to be running around outside. And boy, did he run! He was the kid that had to keep yelling at to make him come back!
Here is a full shot of her outside outfit!
Yes, mum, she pretty much has all her teeth and I think she is obsessed with the size of mine...
Our family, hopefully! It already feels like
We are now going to nap and then head to the airport for Moscow. I will go into all of the boring details I didn't provide yesterday lol!
First, as we were waiting for Dania to be brought to us this morning, we see a train of kids coming down the stairs (they have a railing specifically for tiny people on the main staircase!) and I make eye contact with the child at the head of the line. It was HIM! He has fairer hair, and even his eyes look lighter, but I knew it immediately. He smiled and said 'hi' in Russian. Then, outside, he kept running over to us. I didn't feel a tug in the heart or punch in the gut as I expected I would. I was just happy we saw him and he looked so happy to be running around outside. And boy, did he run! He was the kid that had to keep yelling at to make him come back!
I'm not sure if the home study is still being done on his mother, but CHOC said he wasn't on any registry now. Either way, he looked happy. All of the kids do, actually. It's nice. They were all outside playing with their little groups of 4-7 kids. The orphanage psychologist was walking around taking photos and she even took one of the three of us. The inside of the orphanage has nice bulletin boards, much like an elementary school, with photos plastered all over. E was pointing out all of the Canadian adoptees to us!
Ok, so, the details. First of all, I think CHOC is confused about things. Either they don't understand how things work over here or they keep getting the cases confused and giving us the wrong info. Most of it is the same procedural info, just wrong cities. This trip is the ONLY time we go to Moscow. Court is in Ufa. The only reason we have to go to Moscow is for the clinic appointments that we have tomorrow (that are the only thing making me feel barfy now). Also, we do not bring Dania to court with us. Just photos of the three of us interacting. CHOC sent me all the fee lists for Moscow and listed it as needed for trip two, so you can see how I was confused!
Yesterday, we went to the notary and gave power of atorny to V, our lawyer, so he can pick up or request any documents, make signatures, appeals, speak for us, etc. while we are in Canada. He then went over the format of the proceeding. First we are all introduced and we say we trust our lawyer and translator. Then the translator makes a declaration that they understand what it is to provide a false translation. Then we state our purpose and say we have no appeals to change our case as stated. It is all very formal and to the point. On our side of the room will be us, our translator, A, and our lawyer, V. The other side will have the prosecutor, the inspector (aka, social worker, who will observe us three together one day next trip) and the director of the orphanage speaking on behalf of Dania's interests. After all of the introductions the judge asks us for our statements. We have been given templates to follow as she will be looking for specific points to be made. Mike speaks first and his is very informative of our living situation, why we are doing this, what annual income is, the basics to it all. My speech is more about the child and our visits (aka, the emotional speech). Then the prosecutor's side states if it is Dania's best interest to be adopted or not (by the way, we found out yesterday that Dania's mother is currently in prison. Our rep here, E, looks at us and says 'well, that's good for us! lol!) and the inspector says her opinion as to whether we were seen to be a good fit. We show the judge our paperwork showing our request to visit the child in the baby home, our request for formal adoption. We state what her new name will be and request permission for the new birth certificate. The prosecutor side will show the papers that terminated parental rights of Dania's parents, and that no other family accepted the offer of her. They will also be showing her medical files here. Once all this is done, the judge asks us for our final word. We basically say that we love her and want to include her in our family. Then the judge will go to her chambers, go through our file, 10-15 minutes V says, and comes out to make her ruling.
That's it. Today, E,A,and V are taking our signed request to the ministry of education and it will be forwarded to the supreme court of Moscow for approval for court. When the minisitry gets it back is when we get our official date. V says it should be between the 10th and 20th of July.
Here is a full shot of her outside outfit!
Our second trip should have at least 4 days before court, for us to spend more time with Dania. Russian law states 10 days are to be spent but V says it can be give or take a few. These days will get us reacquainted with Dania, and allow the inspector to come visit. We are also encouraged to bring photos of her spending time with us to add to her album that we left with her tutor. We are also supposed to schedule one day after the court date in case the hearing needs to be pushed back a day (this has only happened once, due to illness of the judge). So, if all goes well tomorrow and at court, at this point she is ours providing there are no sudden claims from her family. We then leave and V will gather up all the proper documents, get Dania a passport, and we come back in 30 days to bring her home.
Yes, mum, she pretty much has all her teeth and I think she is obsessed with the size of mine...
We were given a lot of paperwork regarding how to behave and what to say or not to say in court. Pretty straight forward. We were also warned not to be alarmed at her new name on the birth certificate since, like ours, it isn't a direct translation as there are sometimes no latin characters for our English pronunciations. I never would have known! We were told never to ask questions of the prosecutor's side, even if prompted, because it may show that we are not familiar with Dania or her case. We shouldn't be alarmed when they read out her medical file because there are several different Russian words for everything and it may sound different from the ones the doctor at the orphanage said to us. There was more, but it will all be mentioned in future blog posts with specific details when they occur.
That is it for now. I may or may not post in Moscow until the airport home. I am glad we have the extra day now since we will not be returning on the next two trips! Hopefully tomorrow goes smoothly (BARF!) and I look forward to being a tourist for a day!
Our family, hopefully! It already feels like
one!
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