Speech with Glasses

We had our first speech pathology with glasses on and it was fantastic.  The speech pathologist was so impressed and ecstatic with her attention and participation and (still blows my mind) patience.  She was clearly watching the lip and tongue directions and trying to mimic in a more intense manner.  The speech pathologist even jumped to different activities now that Dania wasn't bending so close and clearly could see flash cards and books better.  Dania was awesome.  The B and P is becoming much more deliberate.  Still not as tolerant at home if I ask her to try again.  Next will be the D and T.  We have to work on getting her to stick her tongue out when she attempts to say those sounds because that will get it out of the back of her throat and then we can get her to retract the tongue once she is doing that consistently.  It's too hard to explain to her to put it behind her teeth at the top of her mouth... she can't see us doing that.  We are also to start working on three-word sentences.  Already have been doing so, but she gave us a whole bunch of scenarios to incorporate.  She also blew bubbles for the first time.  Well, blew bubbles with her mouth and not her nose for the first time ahahaha.  I don't know if it was the glasses and she could see what we were doing better or if she just finally put 2 and 2 together and figured out she could make more bubbles that way.  I was happy!  Still won't do the harmonica at home... just holds it in her mouth and hums!

Aside from speech, her little temper is starting to become the wonderful terrible two's temper.  Everything I suggest is met with NOOOOOO! with a full-body tense up and tipping her head to the side to shout it over her shoulder.  Sigh.  She's starting to understand options and conditions we are putting on things; you can have more cereal if you eat this piece of pear.   She is blowing my mind with letter recognition.  Now that she can see she is pointing out letters on signs all over the place and accurately stating which letter it is.   She got very excited at the F in the word "fresh" at the store today.  She picks her alphabet cereal out of the bowl and knows the letters perfectly too.

Her seasonal obsession right now is pumpkins.  SO excited when she sees them on people's steps during our Leia walks.  What is with the sudden barrage of white pumpkins this year?  They are out in equal numbers to the orange... weird.  She pats and kisses every pumpkin close enough to touch - the outside displays at the grocery store take about 20 minutes to walk past hahaha.  It's cute.  I've started to just tell her they are too heavy for us and she leaves them.   That's a new word for her, 'heavy.'  Except she uses it for anything that is difficult.  If she can't get up the stairs alone, they are heavy.  If she cannot put the box of cereal in the cupboard because she is trying to do it sideways, it is heavy.  Puzzle piece not fitting?  Heavy.  I'm trying not to say 'hard' when I correct her because hard is a texture we are working on too!  I always laugh when she says heavy because it makes me think of in Back to the Future when Marty McFly keeps saying things are heavy, in keeping with his 80's slang, and Doc Brown thinks there is something different with the gravitational pull in the future because of these comments.

Swimming lessons are getting better!  I think the water was just too cold and the place was too chaotic for her on that first lesson.  She is enjoying them now and kicking and falling off the wall to us in the water.  She had a pool party on the weekend for a friend's birthday and she had a ball there.  Our local pool is a wave pool so you can sit up in the shallow end and let the waves knock you around.   Water in her face?  Yes, please!  Weirdo hahaha.  Man, I love her.

She doesn't always need the waves to knock her over as she loves to fall down all on her own hahaha.

The only other thing going on now is that because our adoption agency is defunct (just disappeared after a year of no work) we have this contract with Russia saying we would provide post-placement reports for the next 2 years, but now have no one to send them too.  Asking around online, some people are doing them up themselves and then sending them to their orphanage's regional Ministry of Education but on the other hand, we had given the agency a bunch of money in trust to complete this for us and ensure proper translation, legalization, and delivery of the document.  I'm of one mind that if Russia doesn't want us to adopt their kids anymore than they can't be that concerned about how she is doing presently.  I feel a bit bad because we said in court that we would do this and our judge was so nice, and the money we gave the agency would have been spent on this anyway so it would have been gone (just being spent over a longer period of time instead of disappearing all at once) so we don't have that amount to 'double spend', and our social worker has retired now.   The other mind I have is that maybe providing successful post-placement reports will help to lift the ban of adoption as they see how great all their kids are doing.  I also do want the orphanage to know how she is doing as we donated a bunch of money on her behalf to help others with clefts and other physical ailments.  Big sigh.  It's like the government 'threat' will hang over me for a long time now!

Eyes and Hair

This week started with the visit to the eye doctor again.  We had to use the dilating drops and I had put one in my eye the night before to see how much they 'sting,' (as the pharmacist informed me they would).  They sting a bit but they didn't seem to bother her.  As I have previously stated, she likes water being pored on her face.  The first round of drops went in with ease.  We held her down and held open each eye and dropped in one drop.  The second round, five minutes later, had her crying and I think it was because of us forcing her eyes open.  Once the drops were in, she was fine.  Even when I knew the drops must have made her vision blurry, she was playing happily with her train.  She wore her sunglasses in the car the whole time and was a star at the clinic.  The doctor said Dania's eyes are much better than he had thought!  No glasses needed... I admit, I am a little sad about that.  She would have been so cute with glasses.  We have to go back in six months just to ensure her muscles continue to develop appropriately.

I also had my hairdresser take a look at her hair.  It is growing in top-heavy and I wanted to know if it was worth it to shape it and if that would bring out the curls more.  After she was cooed over by a lot of the ladies at the salon, my hairdresser said she would definitely bring her in to shape it in a few more weeks.  She was taken by how long and thick the hair from the top of her head is compared to the rest.

We also had her permanent resident card photograph rejected so we had to take that again.  I did it at the shoppers myself so I know it is the correct size.  The one we sent before was the one from Russia and her face was a centimeter too big.  We will mail this back tomorrow and THEN we should get her card!  Finally!

I also have to relate the tale from Sunday night prebedtime... We were at our friends' place for boardgames and I had been saying she is a different kid now since Ontario.  Much more playful.  As soon as the bath was done and they two little ones were in their jammies, Dania began spinning and acting silly.  Well, this was new for E and he seemed to like it.  He climbed up onto the couch and I had to help Dani up and then E started mimicking her!  Well, this was the most hilarious thing ever to her!  She was squealing and giggling and doing different things for him to copy.  Erik seemed to like all of this too and even laughed himself right off the couch!  I cannot explain how much it warms my heart to see Dania play this way.  She was always so quiet and self-sustaining in her actions, as we noted at the orphanage, but now she enjoys interacting with other kids with imagination and delight!  I LOVE it!

Busy Week for Dania

This week started with a visit from the social worker.  She was a total doll for D!  She came in the morning and stayed for almost 2 hours.  She probably didn't need to stay that long but she was obviously happy for us and I was excited for D to meet Dania.  She actually said that she could sit there all morning and just watch me and Dania play because we there was such positive and happy energy from us all! 

She took notes and asked a lot of the standard questions about what the leave situation is like, how much is our monthly income, what's our schedule like.  Then she kept asking about Dania and, well, I just couldn't stop talking!  She asked about her likes and dislikes, habits, how she has changed, what medical plans we have, how she reacts to people and surroundings and the animals.  It felt great to keep relaying how awesome this kid is!  Really!  It may all hit the fan when she decides to rebel because "you're not my real mom" but for the time being, this kid is wonderful!

The next day we had an ophthalmologist appointment.  This older gentleman took one quick peak in her eyes with the lighted scope and said, "yes, she is near-sighted."  I asked how he could tell and he replied, "you see that plaque in the hall that says I've been doing this for 36 years?  That's how."  Oh my!  How we all laughed!  I liked him instantly.  He also kept proclaiming how cute Dania is.  He held a few items in his hand at different distances and then tried to get her to look at a lighted cartoon dog across the room and she definitely didn't focus on it.  He wants us to come back on Nov. 4th and do a more extensive test with the dilating drops just to make sure there isn't anything more going on.  I think she will be so adorable with glasses and was a little disappointed that we didn't get to try glasses on right away!

Thursday we had the pediatrician visit.  This lady said she used to see all of the international orphans at one time because GPs tend to be weary about drawing some conclusions for these children and would feel more comfortable with an expert.  She told us this after she asked us what concerns we had and I said I didn't have any!  She also said that she is the pediatrician at the IWK (children's hospital) in the Ear, Nose, Throat clinic and was shocked we had not been contacted by them for an appointment yet.  She said that a cleft like hers would normally be treated after two years old (one year if she was born here) because the tissue heals better when it is older.  She asked us to call her on Wednesday and she will check on Thursday about Dania's appointment.  Jackpot!  Dr. S said she was going to keep Dania's file open but that she did not have any concerns.  Dania was extremely well-behaved, even gave a fecal sample almost on cue.  She wanted us to come back at 2 years just so she can keep tracking her measurements.  Dania has gained a pound since the GP visit (18.5 by official scales) and she is proportionate.  There was one oddity, her head circumference went down from 1 year to now... Dr. S seems to think this is not accurate but we will double check progress at her 2 year appointment.  The female growth spectrum chart had Dania in the bottom for everything so she will probably always be petite, but, again, no concerns.  She even settled my concern that Dania wasn't drinking enough milk (she totally is) and Mike's concern that she doesn't eat enough (again, she totally is). 

Then she had Thanksgiving dinner with all of Mike's side of the family!  Uncle Jon is the favourite because he can lift her the highest!  She loves being able to touch the ceiling.  She also was given cheesecake again and went nuts.  She was spinning around and being a super zombie.  It was so funny!  She wore a cute dress and was pretty well behaved.  Starting getting a little cranky at the end of the night but that was expected.  If she has a frisbee that she can push around on the ground or bang on hard floors she is a happy camper.  She liked the turkey too - and cranberry sauch!

As for my personal observations from the week, she is starting to make different sounds, finally.  She actually was trying to mimic 'hello' while we were playing peed-a-boo.  She kind of sounded like a dove, it was so cute.  She is also indicating specific pictures in books or more specific items (and less of just the general direction of 'over-there') and making a sound after as if she is saying what it is.  She can indicate toes and knees, and tries shoulders but she cannot touch them without my help; she touches her armpits LOL.  She is trying hard to jump and has gotten off the ground a few times - this stems from her want to dance and not the fact that she knows what jumping is.  She sings aloud whenever I play Sarah Slean - it is instant.  Most other musicians she will start by swaying and then, maybe, make a little coo here or there.  She must love Sarah Slean as inherently as I do!  She also lights up as soon as she hears the Muppet Show theme song! 

We travel this week.  I'm a little nervous about the plane because it could bring back memories and feelings from the looooong flight from Moscow.  Although, if she is similar to how she was on the flight from Ufa to Moscow we will be fine!  I know my family has gotten everything she could possibly need for when we visit so that is a huge relief and I feel lucky, again, to have such great family!  I also went shopping with a friend, M, and he picked out the dress that Dania will wear for my cousin's wedding!  She will be adorable!

She is almost always adorable!

Here is my favourite pic of the week:

-Still waiting for the permanent resident card.
-Printed the photos for our post placement report that we have to mail tomorrow.  We also have to get the money order for that.  D will mail her report directly from her social work business.
-Booked an appointment with speech pathologist next month.
-Need to phone Dr. S. to investigate Dania's ENT appointment.

Here we come Ontario!
xoxo

Needles, and Grampa, and English, oh my!

What a week!  We had our first major flashback or horror (at least, I think it was!).  We went to the doctor on Monday to get our referrals for the pediatrician; ear, nose, and throat specialist; and ophthalmologist.  She also was given her 18-month needles.  She did not like that.  She was as could be expected in the office and then off for the rest of the day.  That night she would not sleep.  She woke up screaming and would not stop.  I picked her up and she couldn't even look at me and just kept screaming and thrashing her head and hands around.  I had to hold her close to me and I rocked in the chair and sang for a loooong time.  Nothing seemed to be working.  I really think the needles brought back memories from her medical exams in Russia.  It was so not her normal crying.  Eventually, I had to put her back in the crib because she was getting so hot and sweaty.  I rubbed her hair and kept singing and she kept screaming.  Then, she turned her head and looked at me, actually looked at me, and poked her fist up at me for a fist bump.  There was my girl!  She was still upset but calmed down after that!  Phew!

My dad came to visit on a whim too!  That was great for me to watch him watch her.  He looks at her like she is a scientist.  She is very inquisitive and observational and takes it all in and then does it!  I felt bad he had to see her out-of-sorts because of the needles, but she was her giggly self once her legs didn't hurt her anymore!  Dad now knows the train songs and her circuit of the main floor here.  He saw her in the tub, pretty much swimming, and we pushed her up and down the driveway in her car (a purple Flintstone-style car that her legs are too short to work).  Dad got to see her learning her new game.  3-2-1-Kaboom!  All I do is count down from 3, say kaboom and she squeels and falls on her butt.  Over and over again.  It made me realize she is recognizing my words better.

We started to teach her some body part words.  Hair, nose, eye, teeth, neck, ear.  She knows these ones.  She also "says" (more like hummmms) them with the same inflection that I do.  She is so freaking smart!  Everything we were told by our Russian training said she shouldn't have lost her Russian yet but she is already recognizing and trying to speak the English!  She listens (sometimes) when we say 'no,' like, when she unrolled the toilet paper; she hasn't tried again.

Speaking of being told by the Russians, guidelines and rules have changed yet again!  We now have to submit a 3 month post-placement report before the formerly initial 6 month one.  I shake my head but we will do it because we have to.  It just means paying for an extra set of document translation and certifications, postage, and the social worker visit.  If this money actually went to Russia I would say it was a cash-grab, but it does not.  

Lighter notes:  Other things I've noticed this week are, she still likes her moon.  She says 'ha-ka' for anything she wants.  She is faster coming down the stairs.  Her hair has gotten darker and curlier.  She is getting bolder with the dog and approaches both pets a lot more.  She enjoys laying in the tub water now; relaxing with her ears under the surface.  She is bigger but she looks a lot bigger because we were handed-down a bunch of clothes that don't fall off her shoulders or need to be pinned.  She is getting quicker at talking to new people.  She can work her talking Russian dog by herself - and has totally worn out the mechanism inside as it now plays 1 and a half phrases out of the 6 or 7 it initially spoke!  She can walk 3/4 of the way around the block.  She motions to be picked up in the kitchen so she can 'ha-ka' the arrowroots we keep on the counter... clever girl.

                                              Jeans that fit and a sticker from the doctor.

I will Keep Blogging...

...just not as frequently!  I promise though!  I like doing this for me too, it gives me a chance to regroup thoughts and vent any bureaucratic frustrations I may be having, although, hopefully, those should be few and far between now!

On Tuesday, I emailed CHOC digital copies of all of our documentation and that 'closed' our file - other than the post placement reports that will come over the next 3 years.  I also emailed them to our provincial government and the international adoption lady said she would love to speak with me and hear my story.  I also told her we would love to be part of any panels and be references for anyone that is working with Russia.

Speaking of reference, someone found the blog because of searching for the specific orphanage.  It fills me with joy to think I could help future people looking to travel to this region!  yeah!

We also took Dania to my family doctor this week.  She needed to be assessed and have the required testing done here in order to be referred to the oral surgeon, a pediatrician, and an ophthalmologist.  My GP was quite impressed with the medical history we were able to provide - all of her tests, vaccinations, dates of treatments, supplements or medications she has been given.  It took me several hours to translate that myself... I had written it all down but I thought it would look better if it was formatted to match the Russian document that was notarized.  He loved her and thought she was doing quite well!  We then went to get her chest x-ray and blood work and she was really good during all of that too!  She, or course, cried at the needle but she calmed down as soon as it was done and we started moving around.  I think she was more annoyed that she couldn't move her arms as opposed to in pain from the needle.  She likes to touch things!

She also had an out of sorts day on Tuesday, but I think that was because my mum had left the eve before so it was a change in her routine.  She was used to seeing Gramma when she ate and played and all of a sudden she was gone.  She was better the next day.  Let me tell you, this transition to Canada could not have been done without my mum!  Not only did she become a laundry machine, but Mike and I were both sick after we landed and all three of us were messed up with the time changes!  She was wonderful!  If I had given birth I would have wanted her here so I couldn't imagine having it any other way when I got to bring Dania home!

Things are becoming routine-ish for us.  I say ish because nothing is ever set in stone with kids.  Mike and I each have our own outside-of-the-house activity, dodgeball for Mike and the pantomime for me, and we are working really well together.  She is beginning to display frustration when we limit her actions or say 'no' to going somewhere or touching something she shouldn't.  Perfect!  We first had to teach her that she could try to do things on her own and go places on her own, so she has learned that, now she has to learn boundaries!  She IS a fast learner.  Clever girl...

singing 'la la la' in the mirror

the had I crocheted for her.

enjoying some 18 month birthday cake!

  I don't plan to celebrate all of her monthly birthdays, but we didn't get to do her first with her so forgive us for letting her eat the chocolate cake! hahaha!

7 Nights and 7 Days

Well, it has been a whole week since landing in Canada.  What a flipping great week!

After getting over the sickness, we have a rough routine that we follow.  I say rough because she still will need more sleep sometimes.  Her train is her favourite toy and she plays with that nonstop.  She likes to 'dance' to the music it plays.  She also has been meeting new people, experiences, food each day and taking it all in good stride.  She has only one 'big' new event each day, or every other day, and she has been enjoying it.  Sometimes, she takes it all quietly and just watches, but other times she will just walk right up to the person and babble. 

After visiting our neighbours' kiddy pool I realized she must miss little kids.  She crawled right over to J, our neighbours' little guy, and started interacting.  She also watched our other friends' little guy when he came over and rode her train all over the place.  The next day she started getting on it on her own and can almost maneuver it around - her legs are just a tiny bit too short.  She does seem to be overwhelmed a little when parting from the kids, but she is such a remarkable kid that she continues to impress me with her resilience and acceptance. 

She keeps trying new food and simply spits out what she doesn't like or what she cannot chew properly.  She likes steak, oatmeal, yogurt, and soups.  She does try to eat a lot with her hands now, which is so great, but she also needs to learn to put her cup down after she drinks instead of pitching it over the side! hahaha!

I crocheted her a little hat that is similar to the ones she wore in the baby home, and it's so cute.  That's my one self-promote thing this entry! 

I made her a photo-book about her journey to us. Only her part as opposed to the many years before her.  This will go in a box I am compiling of her experience.  A memory box to show we appreciate her beginnings to us.  I will also put copies of what is not 'confidential' documentation.  We had to copy all of the documents we brought home, the certificates, the court decree, the application for adoption...everything, and will send it to CHOC next week to close our file!!!  CLOSED!  Other than post-placement reports (at 6 months, 1 year, 2 and 3 years), we do not have to deal with the agency anymore.  That seems crazy!

We also applied for her provincial health care card.  We can do that because we have declared her a permanent resident as of right now.  She will receive her permanent resident card in a few weeks and we will be able to apply for the actual card as opposed to just the number and papers that we have now.  When we receive that card I will also start the next steps in the immigration process.  I am going to call them (now that I have a file number and can get through!) to clarify if I need to resend the forms we already filled out because we didn't have any specific information for her at that time and she was just Child Miklos Bathurst.  I hope not because it's just more chances for it to be mailed back for silly reasons like no signature from my 18-month-old. 

18 months old!  Tomorrow!  That's how old she is!  WOW!  She has probably had more firsts in the last week than she has had in her previous 17 months!  We love her.

She has had one freakout, but we bathed her early and got that calmed down.  Otherwise, a normal day has her waking up and breakfasting, then playing for about 3 hours before a nap.  She will then wake up and have lunch and play.  She might have an afternoon nap but she usually sups around 5:30 and then bathes around 6:30 and to bed around 7:30.  Oh, there was the one night when neither Mike or I heard her cries!  Mum stood in our bedroom door and asked us if we were going to get up or if we were just playing a game with each other to see who would get up first... we didn't hear her either.  We both felt bad when we learned about that!  Hasn't happened since, thank goodness!  That was also the only time she woke up for real during the night.  Thanks Mum!

Her baths are the best!  She throws herself backwards (the first two days had her hitting her head on the tub bottom but she didn't care!) and then rolls over and sits up with water dripping all over her face and she LOVES it!  She does this over and over and it is hilarious!  I will get it on video soon.  We also took her to the lake today and she liked that!  I could tell she was a bit colder but she definitely liked it!  She was squealing and she was trying to walk instead of throwing herself backwards.  I am so glad she liked it because I love swimming and we have that perfect lake right close by!

That smile, when I first walk in in the morning, sets my mood for the day and it is fantastic!

Saturday in Moscow

Well, last night went pretty darn well considering her situation!  Like I said, she went down easy, and then we went down about an hour later.  At one point she bumped her head and woke herself up.  We heard her whimper and then she sat upright and we could tell she was startled and she began crying pretty hard.  Even her full on wail is kind of pathetic sounding...bleating goat -like.  We tried to soothe her and tried laying her between us but  this could have been a night terror as she was looking back and forth between us but could seem to find nothing to look at.  Her whole body was tensed up and she just kept crying.  We then flipped her over on her belly and started squeezing the russian dog toy (we found his name to be Boublik, or some spelling that sounds similar) and held it near her head.  She began to o

nly cry in between his talking, like she was finally focusing on somet

hing, and then she settled after about ten minutes of this and we could put her back down.  She slept on solidly for 4 more hours, woke up with little cries because she had pooped, but we changed her and she slept for another 4 hours! 

This is a belated sleeping pic from last night.

This morning she was a happy little camper wandering around then living room playing and  'talking' to us.  We moved her crib so it is beside the wardrobe mirror and she loves that!  Went down for a nap really easily because of that.  Oh!  Breakfast!  She had yogurt(banana flavour) for the first time and her eyebrows shot up and she made a noise of exclamation and devoured it!  Didn't take her eyes off the spoon once!  So fun to see her enjoying flavourful food,  and not just plain porridge!

The rest of the day had her being a happy camper and just wanting to hold Daddy's hand and walk around.  She had half of a grilled cheese sandwhich for lunch and enjoyed it but didnt know how to eat it.  We had to cut it up small and feed it to her.  Things like that make me feel, i don't know how to explain it right, sad/hurt/anxious that she has this learned manner that is totally unnecessary but she cannot understand me to correct it quicker for her own benefit.  She is so used to being spoon fed her entire meal in under five minutes.  They just shovel it in with hardly time to breathe inbetween.  She doesn't know she can pick the food up with her hands and feed herself.  She has only done that with bread or biscuits. They also are not allowed to have anything to drink until it is all finished, so now, when she can assist her swallow with some water, she absolutely guzzles!  For a girl with no roof of her mouth that spells trouble lol!

Sigh.  I know it will take longer to unlearn her habits, just in the same way she has to unlearn her understanding of Russian before she can learn English.  But these customs are just so much more beneficial to her at this point!

We had the Moscow rep, O, visit to pick up all the necessary paperwork for the visas.  I got upset because i honestly thought we left on SATURDAY the 16th, not Friday the 16.  I thought we were worry free because of having five business days.  Now the panic sets in because we only have four!  She just kept saying she "hopes" it will be ok.  What the hell!?  Just when I thought we were only doing time some "more excitement" crops up.  Gah!

Our eve started with some excitement too.  Gas and cramping and painful bowels.  Poor girl!  I hadn't heard her cry in pain yet.  Still kind of goat-like.  She was probably still a bit dehydrated from yesterday, new foods today, stress and it all added up to bowel problems.  Aunt Kitty, you'd have been proud of the grunting strength behind her small frame!  After finally passing some foul gas but nothing more i thought sitting hef in some warm water would help, but was apprehensive because she has never had a bath before... they only get spinged down so she had never heard the thundr of the water filling a tub and then felt enclosed by tall slippery walls while water raised up around her... So, I got in first, stood her in the low level water and just started pooring it on her legs.  She stopped crying and sat down in it.  She loved it!  She settled right down and was playing in the water in about five minutes.  She was playing with the running water when I turned that on for her too.  Well, now I know, Dania loves the tub!  Phew!

She still never pooped though...

Last Night in The Baby Home

It is her last night in the orphanage.  I wonder if she gets told that?  Either way, we are so freaking excited!  I am back to a state of maybe throwing up because I am so worried we will miss the flight!  Jessa!  Calm the flip down!

Breathing.

This morning was another grey and rainy morning, and then it continued all day.  We stayed inside.  This morning in the party room upstairs.

And this afternoon was in the fun room downstairs.

she loves her own reflection

We went to the store and got some oatmeal and cereal so we have that for the first few mornings in Moscow.  We will get liquids at the airport once we have passed through security.  We will also pocket the bread from the airplane meals since they are individually packaged and just perfect for tiny hands.

We have repacked, almost completely. I have her outfit for tomorrow!  Yeah!  No dumpy tights!  We also had to pack the two giant folders of forms we have.  Only one folder is for us, everything is copied and translated a few times so we can give copies to the Embassy.  Her passport is cute (of course) and her name spelled in English is ridiculous!  Daniia Rouz... Not to worry, they told us it would be like that because Russian doesn't translate perfectly to English.  It also has one stamp inside that is very important "cleared to leave abroad!"  In Russian, of course, so I can't pronounce it.  We were told that copies of all of her documents will be sealed in an envelope in the embassy with the same stamp on it.  I am very much looking forward to leaving with her tomorrow.  I still won't feel 'in the clear' until we are through passport control in Moscow on the 16th.  Then I know we're cool...  We expect her to be a little cranky tomorrow, the flight is at her bedtime.  It could work for us or against us HUGE! LOL!  Either way, it will feel so good to be able to put her to bed for the first time!  I will be able to kiss her goodnight and be the first face she sees when she wakes up!  THE BEST!

Also the best...

Tomorrow's post will come later.  I will be en route to Moscow at this time tomorrow.  I won't be able to update until we are settled in the apartment... but I will before I go to bed.  You can sleep in Katie!

Day 2

Mike finally got to see her and she rememered him too!  Reached right for him!  I loved it!  It's raining nonstop today so we got to play in the party room upstairs and then the fun room this afternoon.  I sat with Dania at the grand piano and she really like playing.  I would press a key and she would try to do the same one (I say try because she would use an open palm so she would hit the surrounding keys too)!  We got to feed her dinner and she was wonderful during that.

Really?  Still taking my pic?  

I don't know why Jen, but this face makes me think of Dylan!

cute dress!

We also said good bye to our team of reps tonight.  I cried (of course).  They have been so wonderful this whole time.  E said she was really happy for us and it warms her soul to see how Dania has changed since 'bathing in our love'.  I can't believe it's almost all over!  Tomorrow will be a normal day of two visits, while we repack in between, and then we leave for Moscow on Friday!  We also went over all of our documents and their translations today.  We have quite the stack!

Official certificate of adoption!!!

Our wonderful host is going to prepare some porridge for us to take on our trip so we don't have to rush out to buy food for her at night when we get there.  We also will do a little market run tomorrow to grab some biscuits or something else we can pack for her.  I am sooooo looking forward to not having to leave her inbetween naps!

Where is Ze Child?

Back home after my first day with Dania again!  It was a funny trip here because apparently the kids show up on the itineraries for both ways even if you only actually have them one way... Every airport had us being asked where the infant was.  In Halifax, we were given a boarding pass for her and knew there was an error there.  We had to make sure to get our reservation changed so that they weren't looking for her on board!  In Toronto, when the man at the counter asked, I indicated she was in our luggage.  He laughed.  I wouldn't have tried that anywhere where English wasn't the primary language!  In Moscow, the woman stands up and almost sounds angry/aghast when she asks, "where is ze child?"  I thought it was funny.  It was even funnier for S & D because they had a stroller and no kid!

After crashing for a long and deep sleep, (well, Mike didn't because he had to get up at 5 and go back to Ufa and spend the day there getting Dania's passport.  I feel bad because he didn't get to see her at all today!  I did *BIG SMILE).  there were no tears and much less confusion.  She reached for the mouth right away and started cooing right away too.  She was definitely tired on both visits.  She doesn't get enough sleep there!  She also had a bruised eye on the second visit today - I think they sleep with multiple babies in a big crib - it looks an awful lot like the result of a head-on-head bang!  We went in the fun room, went outside.  She laughed a lot in the fun room at the mirror.  She was playing peekaboo with herself and kept holding different things and then looking at her reflection.  Really trying to figure it out.  A few head butts in there too! LOL!  I also put her on a rocking horse toy and she gave herself a good back and forth.  I got that on video to show Mike when he gets back.  I hope they didn't just wait in the passport building all day, I hope they got to see a bit of Ufa since they didn't get to see their girls!

I am going to crash hard tonight!  It feels good that it is official today!  Appeal period is over and the papers have been issued to our lawyer.  Three more sleeps and we say goodbye to the baby home and move onto Moscow for the week!

Sweet! Day 5

We got her!

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!  I held true to my word that I wasn't very nervous (the prosecutor had a pair of big ol' sunglasses in her hair! LOL!) and the judge was Bashkir (which is the same ethnicity as Dania) and I wore my red shoes that I haven't worn since our wedding (and that day was awesome so it had to be lucky today too!)  I didn't cry until it was all over when the judge looked at me and said she was glad we were keeping her name because in Bashkir it means, "sweet."

She is sweet.
She is ours.
I'm a mom!

I'm crying hahahaha.

The courtroom itself was more of a conference room and it was just constant listening to the people talking and the translator beside me.  Up and down whenever we spoke or answered questions.  They seemed more concerned about her health than anything and just wanted to ensure that we would be there and able to provide what she needs to thrive and become independent.  The depression did come up, but I wasn't worried.  I kind of had the feeling this was good since we were told we could take her in ten days.  I figured the judge had already gone through our case enough with our lawyer and representative on the day they decided that and today was just a matter of the judicial motions.

YEAH!

We go to see our daughter(heehee) this afternoon and then once more tomorrow before we leave.  The flights will probably be booked in the next 24 hours.  The Ontario couple has a travel agent connection who is Russian so she has found us the best deal and we are now just hammering out the dates for certainty.  Most likely:  We will depart Canada on August 4th and arrive the night of the 5th.  The 6th is when all is official and we can pick up the documents.  Then they will apply for the passports and those will get picked up on the 8th.  On the 9th we go to Moscow.  We have the weekend to be a family in the hotel.  Monday the 12th we go to get her visa and register her as a Russian citizen living abroad.  We wait 4 days for the visa to be made.  Spend one more day in Moscow and leave on the 16th for HOME!

So, we have 9 days to do everything we need to do once home in Canada, and this includes a wedding, getting foreign money, getting her clothes and toiletry needs, and having good friends visit for the week to help me pass the time!  Holy smokes!

Thank you all sooooo much for the support and the following... this won't stop any time soon.  My journey to becoming a mom has hit the home stretch, but Dania's journey with us is just starting!!!
xoxo

Day 4

I love all the comments!  Yes, we do read them.  Katie:  Those are just in the special room and those are new since the last trip, the toy cupboard is still only filled with hard toys.  Thanks everyone for following!

It is now the end of the day and one sleep (yah, right) away from court.  We went over the procedure again today, nothing new since last time.  Then they went over our statements with us... just have to say that I was the only one who didn't have to change a thing!  Ahem!  Pat on my back!  We also got to feed the girls dinner today.  Dania was a hungry little one and ate with no problems.  Drinking is a bit harder as that can come up and out the nose a lot easier!  If she uses a sippy cup she has better flow control, that's what they did last time, but this time we just had a regular cup.

We also had a change to discuss the third trip.  They want us to coordinate our flights so we all take off and land at the same time - makes sense.  I feel like we are going to have a skype flight booking date very soon.  They have contact with the rep in Moscow.  They will email her and find out how many days we need in Moscow and then we will book.

As for the cute part of the day (every moment spent with her, of course), she fell asleep in my arms again today.  I'm starting to think she should nap at 11:00 and not 12:30! LOL  The time zone change will mess that up anyway!

She LOVES to sing with me!  I start singing and she now starts to sing too and bob her head or bounce.  Freaking adorable.  I know all kids do it, but this just PROVES music IS its own language!  She doesn't care that she can't understand me!  Videos later, promise.  For now, these will suffice...

This is her "oh, wow!" smile.

 This is her gut busting "so hilarious" smile.

Cute hat!

Family pic!

So, now tomorrow is it.  I am not so nervous about court as I thought I would be.  I know I won't cry during my speech because I can hold it in when being watched.  I'm sure I will cry when she makes her decision and gives her verdict.  Either way.  

We will also have a few moments before court to ask the case social worker current situations of Dania's parents and grandparent's to ease (hopefully) our minds as to a smaller chance for appeal (because I do feel like we will get custody now, we have to).  

I can't believe court is TOMORROW!  I feel like I've been on such a crazy-ass roller coaster and have just gone around the final turn and am about to coast into the exit...  Let's hope it doesn't derail!

Day 3 and Mind Blown

Just got back from our evening visit which was much more active than the morning one...

We just kind of hid on a swing and pretended she was awake and let her nap.  She obviously needed it if she did that 20minutes into our visit!

This evening though, we did laps of the building and sang and danced.  She now mimicks our clapping and feet stomping.  As soon as she is in our arms she is reaching for our mouths so we can make noise and pat her hand on it so it "warbles."  You know what I mean, right?  I can't explain it properly.

Now for the mind blow!  This would definitely NOT have happened if the couple from Ontario hadn't been with us.  They adopted a few years ago befor the wait times changed.  The judge has agreed that if we are awarded custody we can take her after only 10 days!  HOLY TIME DIFFERENCE, BATMAN!  This means, if we are granted custody and no one appeals she is officially ours on August 6th and we are to take her to Moscow from the baby home August 9th, and then we will be back in Canada by, probably, the 16th.  Then they went to the passport officials and negotieated getting the passports made in 1 or 2 days!  We were instantly overjoyed and then looked at each other with panic in our eyes.  How the heck are we going get all we need and flights and hotel in Moscow with only 11 days and one pay in between!?!?!  Then we look at her - it will happen.  Just look at that face:

...how can we NOT make it happen?  My "due" date just was shortened by 4 weeks!  The reps and lawyer seem confident that this will all work out.  I'm a little nervous, except I don't feel it at all with her - but, heck, I'm a mom, I worry!

It's time to make lists of things to get.  Good 14 hour layover activity hahaha!

This shorter wait time also is better for her remembering us!  She is always reaching up to be held so I'm hoping the 11 days we won't see her will be short enough that she will reach for us when we see her in August!  If not, she will at least remember a lot quicker than she did after 2 months.  I love her!

And I love watching her and Mike together!

Ok, we go over the hearing procedures tomorrow and then it's court the next day.  Let's tackle that now.

EMAIL CONFIRMATION

Hello Jessa,

 

We finally got confirmed your date of Court and travel dates.

 

Your Court date is July 24^th at 10:00AM and you have to arrive to Ufa on July 19th or 20^th any time as your host family will be meeting you at the airport. You may leave Ufa for about 40-42 days on July 25th later afternoon.

 

A new law regarding adoption has been accepted yesterday in Russia therefore it will change the schedule of trip 3rd.

 

It is 10 days mandatory waiting period after the Court now and 30 days required to get passport for adopted child. Therefore, you will be signing an additional Power of Attorney there in Russia before Court for our reps and they will be able to get a Court decree in 10 days after the Court and apply for child’s passport and other documents. You will return to Russia for the 3^rd trip in 40-42 days after the Court. You will get passport and other documents for your child, pick up the child and may leave Ufa to Moscow (you need 2-3 days in Bashkortostan to do that). In Moscow you would need 4 working days to get your child registered with the Russian authorities and get your child’s immigration visa at the Canadian Embassy.

 

Once you have your flight itinerary for this 2^nd trip please forward it to us so that our reps know when to meet you at the airport in Ufa .

 

Let me know if you have any questions.

 

Sincerely,

 

  CHOC

More Information

I now have a better idea of the procedure for the rest of this process.  The original information package we were sent, and which I keep referring to, was when there was only a 10 day wait after court and now there is a 30 day appeal so I was confused and asked for clarification.

2nd Trip
About 8 days in Sterlitimak and Ufa.  We need a few business days to be at the orphanage, and then we go to court, then we spend another day signing whatever we need to sign.

30 days Later

3rd Trip
About 4 business days in Sterlitimak/Ufa and 4 business days in Moscow.  I thought she had said we go to Moscow on the second trip for court.  I see now, we just have to go to register her with the Russian authorities and get a Canadian Visa.  So, 3rd trip is a bit longer than I thought, but she is still ours on that trip so there is less anxiety hahaha. 

This is what I just gathered through email with CHOC.
The reps, during our 2nd trip, might say things a bit differently though.  We will wait and see... oh, big surprise, waiting...

Movement.

Holy Moly!  The first month after our visit flew by!  The last two weeks?  CRAWLED like a dehydrated snail!

I had emailed CHOC a few times and asked if there was a standard notice time, ie. if our appointment was July 20, would we hear 2 weeks before?  3 weeks? 

There is no standard.  Blah.

I had a little cry on a cousin's virtual shoulder yesterday.  I miss her more than I let on.  I'm sad because I'm forget the way she feels and sounds and smells.  I want to bink my nose on hers to make her giggle.  I want to be her mother, dangit!

That aside, today we received an email from CHOC saying that the embassy has received a letter confirming Dania is eligible for immigration!  Yeah!  This letter, unbeknownst to us, had to be processed in London, England and then sent back.  So, four different recipients along the way, in 4 different time zones, makes for a long transaction.  This letter states that there is nothing medically that should exclude Dania from immigrating.  With that, and the Letter of No Objection from Canada, we should be good to get our date soon!  I didn't even know we had to have this other document.  It makes sense (now) that they wouldn't schedule a custody hearing for a child if they are unaware if she is allowed to immigrate!  She is!  Yeah!  So, we signed the document and just posted it so CHOC will receive it on Tuesday and then they can send it off right away.

The downside to today's email... I have been SO organized and on top of the dates of our documents and what needs to be done and payments and everything!  I blew it!  HUGE!  $6000 huge!  To go into financial detail of this process (just for the fees, mind you) the agency fee is $6500.  That pays for the people at CHOC, their time, their building, their knowledge and their trust.  There were a few fees on top of that for individual documents, etc.  The Russian fee is $18,000 USD.  First, we sent the agency their fee when we started the process and sent them our full application.  Our second lump of $6000 was made when we sent our completed home study, and therefore our approval from Canada, to CHOC for them to translate and send to Russia (hence the Russian fees).  The next chunk of $6000 was upon acceptance of a proposal, so, this was done up in November with the first proposal, and then sat in the bank until we were ready to actually go over.  We handed that to the Rep in Ufa, for her to pay Russia.  Now, in my own pitiful defence, Mike was in the same frame of mind as me.  We've paid 18000... not remembering that the first lump was for just the agency... GAH!  I feel awful that I let that get overlooked.  Our guardian angel helped again, big time.  The cheque has been written, and by Tuesday the funds will be there.  I feel like the asking for the final chunk of fees means that Russian wheels are turning... this will be lawyer fees, court fees, translator fees, the social worker who observes us for a day, etc, etc, etc... always more etc...

Big breath.

It's in the mail, it's being handled, it's never going to feel like we can thank the people who have helped us out enough!  The extra support is unbelievable and so, so appreciated.  As I said in a previous post, I imagine sending thank you cards from her when this is all said and done... and that scares me to think that because she's still not ours until 30 days AFTER court. HOPEFULLY!

Letter of No Objection

I received an email from CHOC saying (my heart was beating soooo fast because I thought 'this is it!') that they have received the 2 Ontario references with the new dates - thank you for your expediency - and also a Letter of No Objection from our provincial government.  This was the last big ticket item needed for court.  It basically states that our province and government recognizes we are pursuing this private adoption, they have looked at the child's files, and they have no problems with us raising her as our own.  It felt really good to see that.  Affirming.  I would post a photo but it says right on the letter that it is only to be shared with us and the involved legal parties due to the sensitive info contained within.  Just know it has a big shiny seal and our names and Dania's name!

The rest of the references and the last two documents needed will be in the mail tomorrow.  Boo ya.  Prepared.

Now, give us a court date for next month, puh-leeeeease!

More Paperwork...

...it never ends!  As a matter of fact, it won't end until 3 years after the adoption is finalized!

I woke up feeling like this is the week we will hear (so, we probably won't).  I also knew we had gathered a bunch of documents last summer around the start of the Olympics, which means at the end of next month they would all expire in the eyes of Russian court.  I emailed CHOC to ask about these and she sent me back 7 pages of documents that need redoing.  These are letters from employers and letters of reference about our characters. 

I wanted to make this as easy as possible for those who kindly wrote us letters last year in July.  I retyped them (in case they weren't saved on their computers) word-for-word, only changing ages and time references.  I then emailed each reference their letter and asked for them to print them out, sign them, and mail them to CHOC.  I feel bad hounding people again, but (HAHAHA  just got a text from my sister saying she mailed hers just now!) we need to get these documents gathered in case we need to use them.  Gathering them now is important because they will then have to be sent to be legalized and translated (even though they are almost exactly the same!) and then mailed to our lawyer in Russia.  CHOC says we will gather these and hold off on getting them legalized until we have the court date, because if it is between the 10th and 20th of July we won't need them. 

My cousin pointed out that Murphy's law has been all over this process!  She predicts that the date will be just after August 1st since that is the latest dated document we are redoing.  I figure we won't hear for another two weeks, CHOC will send them off to be legalized, we will pay for that, and then the date will end up being on time and we will scramble to get flights!  Over prepared is still better than not at all and having to wait even longer.

The other couple messaged me today asking if I had heard.  They know we are ahead of them so as soon as we hear they should be hearing too.  He still reminded me that even he was told between the 20th and 25th of July, so that's still not too far away!  Although, Vladmir did say that the next appointments after that time aren't until October! GAH! 

I am REALLY starting to feel antsy about not having a date...and I swear it's been ever since I called it her room upstairs!  THIS is the worst waiting because I have a face, a plan, but no definitive point to look towards!

Crying in the Car!

"Is there anybody going to listen to my story all about the girl who came to stay..."

I put in the Across the Universe soundtrack so I could put "I've Just Seen a Face" on repeat and the opening track started.  The opening line for "Girl" had me smile and burst into tears as I stared at her picture that I have propped up on our dash.  It was just too perfect - I hope!

It also made me feel lucky to know that I have so many people listening to my story about the the girl who is hopefully coming to stay.

I have attached our official request for adoption so you can see how all of our documents look.  Everything is dual-language for us, our documents, our meetings, our socializing!

The second page had all the official stamps and notarized signatures.  It was completely in Russian so I don't know if there was anything that should be edited out for our own safety!  It has about 3 round, official, purple-inked stamps.  Everyone important in Russia has these stamps.  They are all over many of our documents.  At the clinic I was joking with Mike over who will have the biggest circle on the page.  It was like a mini bragging contest.  These stamps often have the profession written across the middle and then more information around the circumference.  As soon as you see one of these stamps come out you know it's serious business. 

The Next Steps

I have printed many photographs so I always have them on me to show people!  Now, that wasn't a necessary 'next step' but I did need a few to send to CHOC and 10 for us to take to our court hearing.  We are also encouraged to bring some of us with Dania to add to the album we gave Dania, this way she can look at her with us too!

I printed the photos.  I informed our provincial government of the success of the trip and that we are waiting for a hearing date.  I sent CHOC the child information form we had to fill out for the embassy in Ottawa.  This form is so we get a "No Objection" letter from our government, which is a must for the hearing.  I also sent in the last quiz for our training and we will be scheduling the date for our last video conference soon.  I found a dresser for Kid's room that will be perfect.  It popped up on kijiji today and I was lucky enough to see it early; we will be picking it up tonight.  That means Kid's room is complete!

We will also be working on our court statements over the next week.  We want them to be perfect and my problem will be saying WAY too much because I just love her that much!