Why does she pursue an international adoption at the same time. Why does she lose the kid and then get it back? Why does she get pregnant after? I am SO hooked on this show and, yes, it makes me cry like a baby each week.
This week she is showing my fear for the next offer. She has miscarried and now is pregnant but not acknowledging it. She doesn't look at the screen of the ultrasound or tell anyone. I feel like that is already the way I am thinking for the next offer. There is always a chance and CHOC was telling me it was a rare possibility but it happened... it could happen again... When do I tell?
GAH!
I am just so concerned with how disappointed people were. My sister shows up with wonderful and amazingly thoughtful gifts and I had to tell her her prospective nephew was a no-go. I made her cry when I told her (sorry katie, but i have to say it because you are one person who I never want to make feel bad...at least, anymore). Again, I KNOW it's not ME... but if I want to appear as the happy messenger I would literally have to wait to say ANYTHING until the 30 days after the court hearing when the papers are finally in our hands. How do I hide two or three trips to Russia and all of the excitement pouring out of my heart!?
Holy moly! WAY too much to think about. I need to tell... I need to share... I need people to know why I am suddenly sad when something like what JUST happened happens...
Oh Jessa, you tell if you want to tell! We are all here, following your journey- the good, the exciting, the thrillng, AND the difficult, the sad, the unexpected. We all care about you & want to be there for you through it all in whatever ways we can. I would assume that your sister is sad for what happened, for that feeling of loss, but also she is sad because she cares about YOU and what this means for you. What a rollercoaster this whole thing is! Nobody wants you to have to shoulder it all yourself, in the name of trying to keep others from feeling any disappointment. *sending hugs*
ReplyDeleteHi Jessa,
ReplyDeleteI'm following your journey and I have to tell you, I'm routing for you all the way! I don't envy the hoops the two of you have to jump through, or the constant anticipation and anxiety you must have... it takes such bravery and strength to go through this. I also know that nobody expects you to be brave and strong the whole time. In my mind, you are doing the best thing and handling it the best way you can.
Anyway, I was on Pinterest this morning (addicted) and I saw this and thought of you: http://www.addingaburden.com/2012/06/maternity-photos.html
I've never heard of adoption maternity photo shoots, but from the updates on my Facebook feed, I assume that you are into photography... I don't know if these types of photos are frame or gift-worthy, but I thought (at the very least) it might be a therapeutic exercise for anyone going through the adoption process.
Best of luck to you! Your journey is truly inspiring!
Stephanie Henderson