I realize that I am missing out on many aspects of the whole 'bringing a child into the world' experience. I just ask that you don't remind me... especially with a head tilt and the raised tone of voice; "You'll never get to feel the baby move inside of you!"
I know. Trust me.
So, I have chosen to look at the positive aspects of having Kid and NOT being pregnant. I am also assuming that Kid will be at least a year old because most of the adopted Russians are, and with that being said, here are the top ten reasons why having my kid this way rocks:
10) Right away Kid is going to be able to indicate what hurts or what is wrong. Even with a language barrier there is still pointing.
9) Speaking of language, Kid is going to understand two different alphabets... Kid may not know he can do this, but he be able to for a small while. If Kid is older he may be able to maintain his awesome double alphabetic knowledge! Genius in the making?
8) I will not get a big belly and worry about losing the 'baby weight' afterwards.
7) I can play tackle football right up until the moment Kid becomes ours... and immediately after too.
6) More than likely I won't have to worry about sleep training or having a child not sleep through the night. I imagine it will be scary sleeping away from the orphanage but eventually Kid will realize he's here to stay.
5) I can continue to enjoy my wine nights.
4) I will not have the discomfort or swelling that comes with carrying a baby for 40 weeks.
3) I will always have a winning hockey team whether it is Russia or Canada. Ok, maybe not always, but you have to admit, my odds are pretty darn good.
2) If I wanted to take up smoking or cocaine I wouldn't have a guilty conscience.
and the number one reason:
1) Kid will be able to hug me right from the start. There's nothing better than being hugged back and I imagine Kid's hugs will be the best!
Another awesome aspect, although I don't know if this is necessarily an advantage, is that Kid will have three birthdays in my eyes. The first will be Kid's actual day of birth. The second will be the day we meet him. The last will be the day we land in Canada! Fantastic reasons to celebrate but does that mean more presents???
I'm jealous. Your way rocks.
ReplyDeleteBut number 1A) After having your Kid, you will be able to sneeze/laugh/cough without peeing a little.
Seriously, that should top the list.
Oh oh oh and the months of puking your guts out with 'morning sickness'. Won't miss that.
ReplyDeleteAnd while I'm sure you'll have a tiresome/stressful (but mostly wonderful) welcome home adaptation period... like all parents... atleast you won't be going through the crazy roller coaster of horemones ass-end up like other maternal SUCKERS.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think I have to mention the post-natal boobs to your belly button issue...
ReplyDeleteSeriously. It's not pretty.
Oh Tori! You are fantastic! About the boobs... already been there, already fixed that, already seen gravity is the superior force there :(
ReplyDeleteI HATED being pregnant! I was always uncomfortable, in pain, sick etc. And lets not even mention giving birth. I always hated the women who told me it "was a magical experience that made them feel like real women!". What a load of crap.
ReplyDeleteAbout the sleeping thing though....if you end up having two there will always be at least one not sleeping because of sickness, teething, nightmares, whatever.....you've got a good 5 years before you're sleeping well again!
Oh Jessa! Love!!! Your optimism is contagious and inspiring.... you should become an adoption spokesperson! And Tori... yeah... morning sickness. Ech.
ReplyDeleteNumber 5. My favourite.
xoxoxoxo