Home Study part 2

Me to Mike: "I'm sorry I busted you on your trying marajuana."
Mike to me: "I'm sorry I didn't praise you as much as you praised me."

Three hours earlier...

Our social worker showed up at 1pm and we thought with the discussions and home safety inspection we'd be about two hours.  We didn't even have time to do the inspection.  We had so much good discussion and some laughs and I really feel relieved after this visit.  Before this I was worried that my depression would be something that could count against me.  I figured anyone looking at my file would see that it's something I will have to be medicated on forever and will more than likely grow accustomed to my meds and have to change when I start to become unstable.  When Donelda discussed all this with me and I flat out asked her if that would be a negative strike towards us she made me feel a gajillion times better by saying that from what she sees in me should would say that, if anything, my history has made me more self aware and more attuned to what others are feeling.  It doesn't seem that I have a trigger, such as piling on the responsibility of kids, it's just something I have and have control of.  Man!  That made me feel so much better to have her describe me like that!  She said that if I had brushed off the fact that I had depression and tried to make light of the fact I will always have it she would have then been concerned.

We discussed the surveys Mike and i filled out about our upbringings and our values, etc.  She said from what she can see we have very similar pasts and seem to have a good understanding of each other.  She liked that Mike described himself as a piler and me as a filer.  And speaking of descriptions, one of the survey questions was to check off all the descriptions that you would use to describe your spouse.  I checked off all that applied, and as she was reading them out Mike looked embarrassed.  Then before she could read his answers he says, "um, just so you know, I didn't check ALL of them, just the top ones."  I had to laugh at that.  Very predictable and logical (which are ones I ticked on his descriptions).

And then the discrepancies between our surveys:  "How long were you and your partner together before establishing a marriage or domestic relationship?"  Mike had 3-4 years and I had less than a year!  Mike didn't finish reading the question hahaha!  He thought it was only about marriage.  The other discrepancy was when i checked that we both had used marajuana.  Mike didn't check anything on his self.  He looked shocked and when I said, "you told me you tried it!" he replied, "oh ya, I forgot!"  Oh, Mikey!

During this visit we also were given separate surveys to fill out and discuss individually.  These were questions about any possible illegal or criminal activity we may have been involved in, victims of, or started.  These are done privately in case one partner has kept this silent from the other.  I can understand that and feel fortunate that neither of us has anything like this.  I had to laugh and share the story from Nana and Papa's anniversary where Tori thanked our uncles for never molesting us!  She laughed too.  And this was an awesome segway into when how awesome and close I am with family members.  She looked at the photo on the living room wall of the Mikloses from Katie and Fil's wedding and loved it.  Nana and Papa, she says you look like a gorgeous couple!

After three hours of discussions like this we finally had to call it quits and schedule the next meeting.  It will be the 17th of February and this one will have the home tour.  In the meantime, she will email us another survey.  She will also be emailing out a survey to our references soon and then when she receives them back she will call!

I feel good.  I feel like progress has been made.