Bashkortostan is the only region that agreed to look at our file and try to work with it. Mike and I have had a lot of heart-to-hearts and examined as many 'what ifs' as we could think of and decided to go ahead and try. There has to be a reason that only one region is willing to look at our dossier!
Last Thursday night
I had left messages at the numbers that were forwarded to me by CHOC. The couple from Richmond Hill phoned back and was so extrememly helpful I probably cried a hundred times. The first thing I asked about was the 8 specialist exams that we have to go through as it plagues me the most as what can ruin us. The couple (henceforth referred to as D & S) told us not to include the depression on the medical forms. I mentioned my doctor couldn't legally refrain from mentioning it because of the current prescriptions. They then said to mention it as minimally as possible. My form says, "patient had a depressive episode in 2003, on medication to prevent relapse." I hope that is minimal enough to not warrent concern on their end. As for the actual exams done by the specialists there, they sound like they are very much a procedural matter and not particular at all (thank gods!) It sounds like you spend less than 10 minutes with each and then wait for the HIV test results. Easy... but still, they are nerve wracking for me.
I asked about the orphanage next. D told me it is run by a group of ladies, and she thinks they might be volunteers, and they obviously care so much for the kids. She said it was clean and well run and that they were so grateful for the donations of diapers. She said the kids were well mannered and well fed. The food is very plain, oatmeal, potatoes, juice, not a lot of milk, but that there is enough that no kid looked hungry. They were proposed a girl. She was just over one year old and their process was quite quick and such a lovely experience.
S told me about all the contacts that we would meet if we get the chance to go over. There are two apartments where we could stay and the drivers and the adoption representatives, and he remains in contact with all of them. S & D are also going through their second adoption now. He told me about the court hearing and how it seems intimidating at first (big court room in Moscow, prepared statements, etc) but he said it also seemed as if the lawyers seemed bored as they probably do many of these a day. D said when she started her statement she brokedown and completely deviated from it to speak directly from the heart. She said she had the judge in tears. At the end of it the judge leaves the room to review everything, then comes back in to make her ruling. It was after hearing this that I decided if we could make it to the judge we would be ok. The love we have to give and who we are will outshine any marks on our medical records. S also told me he was told in Russia the stats arethat if the children are not placed in a good home that they will likely end up in jail or dead by the time they are 25. He felt that the lawyers knew that. He also asked CHOC how many adoptions they have had that didn't go through and the answer was three. Two of those three were because the parents changed their minds. I like those odds.
We are going to meet with D & S in August. We will meet their little girl, who is now almost 4, and see photos of the actual orphanage where Kid will hopefully be. We will see pictures of the city and hear more about their experience. We have a tentative timeline for the trips and will be able to put it better together once we see and hear about another's experience in the same place.
Present Day:
Big deep breath.
The dossier is being prepared (translated, notarized) CHOC is contacting our provincial government and finalizing the forms we need. We also have to acquire one last letter from the psychiatrist.
After, all I can do now is hope they accept the dossier as a workable one.
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