My last post was the day before the 1 year mark of getting the phone call! I totally forgot that date until it had passed, but I had an extremely sentimental moment remembering the abundance of feelings that went through me in such a short period of time.
Fear when I realized it was the department of community services online...shock and awe when she said we had an offer for a girl... sadness that Mak had officially fallen out of our prospects... an un-named feeling when I walked back into the manager's meeting and they were all pretending they didn't want to ask me what that phone call and all the audible crying was about...excitement as I kept hitting refresh on my email waiting for that photograph to come through... anger that I could NOT get a hold of Mike... unconditional hope when I saw those brown eyes...pride showing off the grainy blank and white print out I just made to all the employees at work... certainty that I could picture her in my arms already and terror because I could... fear at the thought that this could go wrong... happiness and love and wholeness when I finally got to see Mike and see his reaction to the photograph... bigger love telling my friends and family... nausea at the thought of everything we had yet to go through... and an instant overlapping of all of the above when I laid down to sleep that night...and hope upon hope...
What a day. Actually, what an 8 hours.
SO worth it.
I remember the first time you told me... I was eating cheese cake at Gus and Guidos with Raeanne! And holy moly those eyelashes stole my heart!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMmmm cheesecake!
xo Aunt Kitty!