Totally Selfish!

I just spent a few wonderful days back home with the family.  I had a cousin getting married down south and was unable to afford to attend so my father offered to fly me out to keep him and his parents company.  Unfortunately, the grandparents were unable to attend due to insurance difficulties, so we all celebrated simultaneously with the southern bunch!  Congratulations A & C!!!

Home has left me feeling soulfully elated.  It was so weird for me to keep hearing how great of a thing I'm doing.  I never know what to say when something like that is said to me.  I mean, for example, my dad was speechless.  Anyone who knows my father will know that that is a huge thing.  He is always of an opinion.  He couldn't form words to tell me what he wanted to say.  He also said he was on the phone with his sister and she was the same way.

Honestly, this is not about saving a child.  I'm doing this for purely selfish reasons.  I'm doing this because I want to be a mum and I don't want to go through IVF.  To me, this is my only option.  It's all about the feeling I get thinking about holding her and playing with her.  Totally selfish!

I'm also beginning to get more frightened by the fact that I feel like she is ours already.  I hope that I don't jinx myself.  I want her so bad!  I'm making plans, I'm writing thank you cards from her, I'm visiting people.  That scares me so much because she isn't yet even mine!  I guess this scariness has been counteracted with the good feelings from the folks and the grandfolks because right now I just feel good.

I found the orphanage on Google Earth.  I will post satellite pictures but I must do a few adjustments to keep the anonymity since it doesn't really have an address.  It is hidden amidst some apartments and not visible from the street.

We also have our last training session tomorrow night!