Tight Timing

Holy Strombole!  We received confirmation that we can have our appointment with the Ministry of Education on the 24th and our clinic appointments on the 29th.  That is all good.  The hard part is guarenteeing our visas will be here in time for us to fly there.  They sent an email saying we wouldn't receive them until the 28th.  Mike got on the phone, because I am so stuffed up I sound like a muppet character, and told them our situation and how I was previously told that if we had them in the mail asap the 18th would be fine for a deadline.

Right now, our passports are at the Russian Embassy in Ottawa waiting for the invitation to create the visa.  The invitation takes about two weeks to firm up.  The guy on the phone told us to start calling around the 10th of April and putting the screws to them because that is when the process could be hurried up.  Once the invite is received and we have met all the criteria (including an HIV test for this kind of visa! what?!) the visa is then created, imprinted into our passport and mailed back to us (there is a same-day option for mailing.  So, next step:  We go get blood done this week and then email the results to the visa centre once we have received them.  Then we start calling.  Then we book flights for the 21st or 22nd of April to arrive for the 24th appointment.

Holy Hannah this is tight!

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

Still waiting for word about the medical appointments.  CHOC says as soon as they know we will know.  What is going on over there???  CHOC is currently closed for Jewish and Christian holidays so the email checking is not as frequent as it usually is, but still, I know this has to be something over in Russia or CHOC would have told us to start booking.  Maybe they are trying to get the clinics to reschedule things?  Who knows?  All I know is I wait... and I'm sick as a dog too.  Although, I'd rather be sick now than in a months' time when we have exams from 8 different physicians!

Appointment Times

It looks like our appointment with the Ministry of Education (our Department of Community Services) will be on the 24th of April!  YEAH!!!

Now, the only complication at present is the fact that there are holidays from May 1st - 6th.  We have to have our 8 medicals in Moscow on this trip and there is worry that there may not be availability before that time.  She is currently checking on the 29th and 30th of April.

Fingers crossed.

I have also inquired about dress-code for these appointments and for the orphanage.  I would assume a business-like appearance for any official appointments and the future court date, but I always wonder about footwear.  I want to make sure that we don't show toes if we aren't supposed to.  I also wanted to double check about the baby home dress code since we will be spending lots of time there.  Some cultures have some interesting rules regarding what skin and parts can be shown and I don't want to offend anyone!

Bet Your Bottom Dollar...

...that tomorrow there'll be sun!  Because that's when we find out WHEN!

We did mail our visa applications today. BAM! I requested them back just shy of the 30 days so we will hope for the best (of course, is there anything else to hope for here?) and that they take our purpose for travel as a priority over regular business transactions!

Let us also hope that the date we get tomorrow is not too far away!

Day 2 of Round 2

This time feels different.  Maybe it's because we already have done this once.  Maybe it's because we want it that much more.  Maybe it's because it's spring(ish) so we are a little lighter at heart anyway.  Maybe it's because the first time obviously wasn't right.

I don't know why but she feels different.  I swear to gods that when I first received Mak's pic I immediately looked for signs of FAS. I was happy and surprised and all of the good feelings, but I even mentioned that it took a few days for him to feel like ours.  It took three days before I could picture him living with us.  If I'm completely honest, I was upset about how long it took to sink in.  I'd been expecting it so why wasn't it nothing but joy?  Maybe because life is never ONLY joy... Unlike receiving Mak's photo and proposal, when she told me girl my heart clicked (probably because we went into this whole parenting gig wanting a girl - it really doesn't matter but we had both been more familiar with baby girls).  I was then told about the cleft pallet and the near-sightedness.  As soon as that photo came through on my email my 'world' clicked.  I didn't even look for the hint of the cleft pallet or for signs of FAS; I looked at those eyes and cheeks and cried.

I don't want to sound like I'm setting myself up for a bigger hurt since I want this more.  I'm just being honest here.  Maybe it's because she's looking into the camera and 'at me.'  Maybe it's because I REALLY wanted to add fairies and mermaids to the nursery and to buy ruby slippers for fancy occasions.  Maybe it's because this time really DOES feel different.  I mean, of course it's going to feel different, but it's not producing the hesitation and fear I expected.  I am the worrier and always have been.  But this feels different.

I have even worried less about the Russian part.  I don't care what the doctors say about me when I'm there.  I'm not concerned about where we stay.  The first time I felt like I wasn't getting enough support from CHOC but this time I'm thinking that I'm going to make my itinerary and then TELL CHOC when we need rides and from where.  We will make the appointments and stay with the proper host family, but I'm not going to ask as many questions as opposed to stating what we need.

I also want to add a few coincidences.  I found the fun coincidences with Mak too, but people who believe in fate will always look for those 'meant-to-be' circumstances.

My "niece," S, drew me a photo two Christmases ago.  The caption that explained what the drawing was said: This is a picture of your little girl.  She is happy.  Thank you for my pickle.  This is officially the first prediction! LOL!
My friend H, she was in the play with me and saw me when I brought the news of Mak, said to me that night that she "didn't know" about him; that she saw us with a girl.  She has been right about all the pregnancies she's predicted to me...

The only other circumstance I can explain is that we had a girl name picked out.  One that took A LOT of debating.  We had chosen Clara in honour of Canadian olympian Clara Hughes and of the lead role in the Nutcracker (Russian Ballet shout out!).  Last month, my 'brother' here had the chance to see Clara speak.  I flipped when I saw this!  I started banging the table and yelling in my protest and jealousy.  Then he had the nerve to say, "who is that?"  (When I relayed this comment to my sister she subsequently responded with 'kick him out of Canada').  I broke our vow of silence about the names.  To me and Mike, it's a jinx to say what we want to name Kid until Kid is actually ours.  I told P that Clara Hughes is SUCH a big deal that we were naming a possible daughter after her!  Well, as soon as I said it I felt like the name was now used.  Although, the dream of the girl who liked math and video games was named Clara.  Anywho, one of the other names we had discussed was Daenerys.  She is a character from Game of Thrones and I adore her!  We loved the thought of the nicknames Dany, or even Khaleesi.  Well... Dania... ya...

Ok.  The other big difference I have to state is my lack of hesitation to share.  We knew about Mak for a few days before we made it public.  I (even before I told Mike since he was MIA for 4 hours!) waited about 30 minutes before telling people and calling long distance!  I had such great support when the first one fell through that I wanted to share it ALL this time.

I also want to give a great shout out to cousin C who had NO idea what was going on since her iPhone doesn't accept the photos I messaged her!  That was one of the best reactions!

Thanks to all who have phoned or messaged their well-wishes.  This time is different.  This time the good thoughts are fueling it from the very beginning.  This time, if it falls through, we will all keep up the hope and remember that '3rd time's the charm!'

xoxo

ps.  Visa applications are short of 4 Mike signatures before they are ready to go!

pps.  here is our other photo of her!

Yup! Murphy's Law!

Well, it's a Tuesday!

I'm in the middle of a meeting at work, this afternoon, when the call for 'Jessica' comes through.  Only the government calls me that.  My Stomach twisted.

Then it flips when she tells me we have another proposal.
Flips further when she says a 1-year-old girl.

This is Dania.

We are in the process of filling out visas again.  CHOC says they want us to be there for April 18, but the visas won't be ready in time.  Tomorrow we will hopefully have a new date worked out - with a proper 30-day wait for the visas.

I'm over the moon here.

I was planning on a new post for tomorrow (which was supposed to be another Wednesday without a call):  I had a dream that we had been offered a girl.  She was supposed to be 2 but was the size of a 5-year-old and liked Math and video games.  I jolted awake thinking, 'oh no! Mike's girl not mine!' but then I thought, 'how does the orphanage afford video games?'

Have to make more calls but I will update asap!
xoxo
and thanks for all the well wishes... it's worked!

Expired.

Our visas expired today.  Unfortunately, they were unused, a waste of money, and didn't result in any family-building progress.  Let's just pretend we bought 93 packages of 2-day sale diapers from work and call it even.

We've got some Small Shoes to Fill.

It's been 21 weeks since we sent our folder over.  I originally thought at least 30 so we are still in the normal range of waiting.  We were told 6-12 months.  It is just a bit more maddening since we already had one offer.

I hope.  I still hope. 

Sadly, I will be missing my friends wedding, in Cuba, next month.  I will miss my cousin's wedding, in North Carolina, in June.  I will be missing my friend D's and Mike's friend J's weddings - both this summer outside of province.  I feel so sad that we have this state of limbo that is resulting in us missing so many wonderful weddings.  I just hope these people understand how sad this makes us and if it was anything but waiting for this we would be there - with dancing shoes on!  This is another form of loss I had never thought about before embarking on this journey.

We actually had to talk about when to stop waiting.  That was hard but I feel it was necessary.  I don't want to wake up one day a decade from now and feel like we missed all of these wonderful things for naught.  The same way I decided it wasn't happening naturally, we settled on a "it's not going to happen this way either" date.

That's a long ways away though.

Because I hope.

Closure

I emailed CHOC to ask if they had any work on Mak.  She replied and said he is not in a database anymore.  I like to think that means he is successfully home with his mother. 

Ho hum.

Well, it was another Wednesday morning.  Notta.

I honestly thought it was going to happen today because I had 5 different people tell me, out of the blue, that they had been thinking of me.  I thought maybe that was because big things were coming this way in the immediate future.

Instead, it was just another hum drum Wednesday.

Sigh.