My Intention...

I was given "ohm work" at yoga.  My instructor said I had to write down my intention and see what happens.  During tonight's practice I had made my intention "acceptance."  I had been looking for help within myself for accepting my circumstances.

Let me back track just a little first...

The room we painted for kid had hardly been stepped in for the first year we lived here.  Once it was blue I kept sitting in there and wishing it had harder floors for me to practice yoga.  The want to practice yoga more lead me to join an actual yoga studio and not just take classes at the gym.  The studios are blue.  A very similar blue to what I have chosen to decorate with...

My intention is acceptance.

I already have accepted that I am inexplainably infertile.  I need to accept that if I am denied because of my mental health issues it wasn't meant to happen with this country (I just REALLY feel like Russia is where Kid is).  I accept that it is all a big "what if" right now and I need to stop looking so far into the future and focus on the next step.  I need to accept that I can't help who I am and that I am OK.

My intention is acceptance that I WILL be a mother...