Just So Pleased

I'm sorry it has been so long since my last post.  I promised to try a once per week update but I had another surprise Ontario visit, my sister and her husband, and that distracted me.  Dania had soooo much fun with them here.  She has a tricycle now, and a basketball net.  She has tried beaver tails and cheesecake (which she went absolutely mental for!) and has toured the waterfront. 

This kid just constantly impresses me with her adaptability and easygoing-ness (so not like me!)  She takes the visitors with a grain of caution to start and then warms up, but doesn't seem like she is trying to please and is definitely still drawn to her mama and daddy over others.  She is also starting to test us with the things we have said 'no' to her about.  She will wait a day and then try to stick her hand between the dog and the dog food to see if she can get away with it today.  The dog doesn't want anything to do with that, of course, so that is the one thing we hope she will learn to avoid before any of the other little things (pushing on the screen, pulling at the curtains in the living room) where we say 'no.' 

She still LOVES food and wants to eat whatever we are eating (as pictured above) and it has paid off because she has gained over 2 pounds and is now able to wear the 12-month sized tights without them falling off!  They are still quite loose but they stay up so that's what counts!

She walks around the block almost everyday now.  She is happy with her one midday nap.  She has speakers in her room so we can have pre-bed dance parties.  She chases the cat's tail.  She is learning new words almost daily (still not speaking any yet, but definitely can distinguish words we say). 

We are waiting for the Ear, Nose, Throat doctor to call us back, but we have appointments with a pediatrician and an opthamologist in less than 2 weeks.  I am most excited for the eye doctor because I think that will make a huge difference in her quality of life right now.  She looses interest when things are too far for her to be focused on just one item, but for books or other close-up activities, she has to bend over and hold her face quite close.  Plus, she will look adorable in glasses!

Still waiting for her permanent resident card to arrive in the mail so we can finish off the citizenship process.  It won't be 8 weeks until October 16 so we still have lots of waiting time there.  We also have our first post-placement social worker visit scheduled for a week from Monday.  I am excited for D to meet Dania, she has been with us for almost as long as we have been working with Russia and she is excited to meet Dania!

That's the quick and dirty and wonderfulness of it all for right now.  I am also laughing because I have noticed that Dania's mouth is wide open in every one of these photos! hahaha!  What a kid!

Needles, and Grampa, and English, oh my!

What a week!  We had our first major flashback or horror (at least, I think it was!).  We went to the doctor on Monday to get our referrals for the pediatrician; ear, nose, and throat specialist; and ophthalmologist.  She also was given her 18-month needles.  She did not like that.  She was as could be expected in the office and then off for the rest of the day.  That night she would not sleep.  She woke up screaming and would not stop.  I picked her up and she couldn't even look at me and just kept screaming and thrashing her head and hands around.  I had to hold her close to me and I rocked in the chair and sang for a loooong time.  Nothing seemed to be working.  I really think the needles brought back memories from her medical exams in Russia.  It was so not her normal crying.  Eventually, I had to put her back in the crib because she was getting so hot and sweaty.  I rubbed her hair and kept singing and she kept screaming.  Then, she turned her head and looked at me, actually looked at me, and poked her fist up at me for a fist bump.  There was my girl!  She was still upset but calmed down after that!  Phew!

My dad came to visit on a whim too!  That was great for me to watch him watch her.  He looks at her like she is a scientist.  She is very inquisitive and observational and takes it all in and then does it!  I felt bad he had to see her out-of-sorts because of the needles, but she was her giggly self once her legs didn't hurt her anymore!  Dad now knows the train songs and her circuit of the main floor here.  He saw her in the tub, pretty much swimming, and we pushed her up and down the driveway in her car (a purple Flintstone-style car that her legs are too short to work).  Dad got to see her learning her new game.  3-2-1-Kaboom!  All I do is count down from 3, say kaboom and she squeels and falls on her butt.  Over and over again.  It made me realize she is recognizing my words better.

We started to teach her some body part words.  Hair, nose, eye, teeth, neck, ear.  She knows these ones.  She also "says" (more like hummmms) them with the same inflection that I do.  She is so freaking smart!  Everything we were told by our Russian training said she shouldn't have lost her Russian yet but she is already recognizing and trying to speak the English!  She listens (sometimes) when we say 'no,' like, when she unrolled the toilet paper; she hasn't tried again.

Speaking of being told by the Russians, guidelines and rules have changed yet again!  We now have to submit a 3 month post-placement report before the formerly initial 6 month one.  I shake my head but we will do it because we have to.  It just means paying for an extra set of document translation and certifications, postage, and the social worker visit.  If this money actually went to Russia I would say it was a cash-grab, but it does not.  

Lighter notes:  Other things I've noticed this week are, she still likes her moon.  She says 'ha-ka' for anything she wants.  She is faster coming down the stairs.  Her hair has gotten darker and curlier.  She is getting bolder with the dog and approaches both pets a lot more.  She enjoys laying in the tub water now; relaxing with her ears under the surface.  She is bigger but she looks a lot bigger because we were handed-down a bunch of clothes that don't fall off her shoulders or need to be pinned.  She is getting quicker at talking to new people.  She can work her talking Russian dog by herself - and has totally worn out the mechanism inside as it now plays 1 and a half phrases out of the 6 or 7 it initially spoke!  She can walk 3/4 of the way around the block.  She motions to be picked up in the kitchen so she can 'ha-ka' the arrowroots we keep on the counter... clever girl.

                                              Jeans that fit and a sticker from the doctor.

One Month as a Mama!

It has been one month since we became Dania's full-time parents!  The first week is still dream-like as it was in Moscow, but it has been that long already!  She is sitting beside me looking through a book right now-something she wouldn't have done 30 days ago.

This past week has been the week of wonderful homemade gifts!  Thank you everyone for everything but I do love a good homemade gift since it's usually something one of a kind.  She has also been to a few different houses now and was wonderfully well behaved and not over excited when leaving.  One of those houses was Mike's parents' place and there was another dog there, Finn, and she was trying to kiss him like she kisses Leia, even though Finn was much more enthusiastic to return the kisses and would have continually knocked her to the ground if we hadn`t been there. LOL!  She sure loves dogs!

She also loves the moon light in her room.  I put that in just to make a `night`corner and so that she would never be completely in the dark - it`s a sensor light that turns on as soon as it`s dark.  She looks to the light whenever we are putting her down in the crib, wants to see it turn on.  Then, in the morning, when we come in to get her and walk over to the window, she looks to the moon to watch it turn off.  I love it!

I think the weather has finally turned here too and the lake time is done.  We got in one more awesome day (but you never know with the weather here)...

She is starting to gesture for items that she wants and she`s baby talking more.  I am anxious to hear her first English word - I don`t count Mama because that`s the same in Russian!

She also has funny eating habits that she has picked up from us.  When she is taking a mouthful of food she makes a Homer Simpson-esque biting noise.  That was what we did to make her want to eat... kind of like the airplane for the Simpson generation.  And when she has the food in her mouth she always makes the noise, ``mmmMMMMmmm`` in a very sing-song voice.  I was doing that while we introduced new food because I didn`t want her to reject different textures and tastes before she got a chance to actually taste it.  I would make that noise and she would, and by the time she said mmMMMmmm she had tasted the food and was usually ok with it!  Now, at a friend`s house, she tried a sugar cookie and made her noise and the `chef`though it was funny!  Then she started screaming and reaching for the cookie jar!  Her first `LOVE`for food is sugar cookies! LOL!

She is also recognizing a few words.  She knows `bath¸` for sure, and I think she knows `come here`and `Leia`and `hair`.  She loves Pat-a-cake and other rhythmic songs too.  She loves the Muppet Show!

This seems to be a random blog post... no exact point and no train of thought to flow from topic to topic.  It`s kind of the way the day goes with her! LOL!

SO Many Good Developments!

In the last few days I finished Dania's adoption memory box. We really wanted to show Dania that we recognize that she came from elsewhere and has a history before us..even if we may not know much about it.  Hopefully she will appreciate it one day.  Inside, I've included three envelopes for each trips' plane tickets, an envelope of ruble coins, packaging from different foods she and we ate (I wouldn't normally keep food, but it's all crazy russian writing and the yogurt one is creepy!), important documents (our acceptance letters for international adoption, from the province dated Oct 2011; CHOC's application and timeline with all of my handwritten notes; our initial email and pictures from Russia with her info; our court application in English and Russian; the court procedure outline; certificate from CHOC for Russian specific adoption training; certificate from the orphanage for a donation in Dania's name), and a HUGE stack of cards from people all over Canada and the states wishing her a welcome! The memory book won't go in because I plan to read it to her frequently!

I also logged the geocaches that we found, or didn't find but were close to, while in Moscow.  For those who don't know geocaching, it's a worldwide treasure hunt.  People make caches of all different sizes and log the GPS coordinates on an official site.  Every cache has a log that is to be signed and some can have items put in.  Some even have trackable items that can be moved from cache to cache by different people.  Every find or move is recorded on the official website. I had made a trackable item, called Dania, that I wanted to leave in a cache over there that could be seen as her possible route if she had stayed over there.  We could have tracked its every move until it stopped.  Every cache in Moscow was micro sized and I couldn't leave the trackable item (an army tag-like item) inside.  I think I will wait and see what she wants to do with it one day!

We went to Growth Spurts consignment for some shoes and pants and jackets!  Thanks to all who contributed for the awesome credit there and the owner was so excited to finally meet us!  We found some shoes, a denim jacket, and a warm vest that can be worn with her sweater for the cooler weather!

 We also tried Dania at other people's houses this week.  She's never been off her own turf and on another kids'.  She was sooooo good!  After one cranky day, we went to a neighbour's for an adult birthday party.  She was the only kid, so I thought this would be an easy transition to going elsewhere.  She was just like she was at the airport (minus the being tired); she watched everyone for a bit and then started walking around, reaching out to some, and 'talking'.  

We also tried her at a friends' house where there is a boy, E, who is 3 months older and a mountain of toys!  She was quiet for an even shorter bit.  She sat and played with toys while watching everyone else.  She would only walk to me or Mike... but less than an hour later she was EVERYWHERE!  She watched E walk around and (as I'd hoped) decided she didn't need to walk from object to object as much as she has been.  She was going up and down their hall and turning around without even holding her arms out for balance!  It was great!  E even thought she was chasing him! LOL!  Soon, I'm sure of it!  They played together and she felt comfortable going to our friends' arms and was SO proud of herself walking around.  I felt proud watching her!!!  They even bathed together and she kept flipping herself under the water, as per usual, and I think E thought she was crazy.  They did enjoy splashing together though!  That felt good to see all of this because it's 'routine' for us to go over here on Sundays and play boardgames.  For us to continue this, she would have to feel comfortable enough to go down for sleep in her pack 'n' play.  We wanted to ease into it, of course, and will try for even longer next week - as long as she doesn't have a cranky day tomorrow!

 She has also started making a face that looks like Leia (our dog) who has a major underbite because she is missing her top teeth in the front!  I first saw Dania make this face after looking at Leia so I figure she is mimicking the dog! LOL!

 Playing with E!

 

Doing the 'Leia' in her new denim jacket.

 

I will Keep Blogging...

...just not as frequently!  I promise though!  I like doing this for me too, it gives me a chance to regroup thoughts and vent any bureaucratic frustrations I may be having, although, hopefully, those should be few and far between now!

On Tuesday, I emailed CHOC digital copies of all of our documentation and that 'closed' our file - other than the post placement reports that will come over the next 3 years.  I also emailed them to our provincial government and the international adoption lady said she would love to speak with me and hear my story.  I also told her we would love to be part of any panels and be references for anyone that is working with Russia.

Speaking of reference, someone found the blog because of searching for the specific orphanage.  It fills me with joy to think I could help future people looking to travel to this region!  yeah!

We also took Dania to my family doctor this week.  She needed to be assessed and have the required testing done here in order to be referred to the oral surgeon, a pediatrician, and an ophthalmologist.  My GP was quite impressed with the medical history we were able to provide - all of her tests, vaccinations, dates of treatments, supplements or medications she has been given.  It took me several hours to translate that myself... I had written it all down but I thought it would look better if it was formatted to match the Russian document that was notarized.  He loved her and thought she was doing quite well!  We then went to get her chest x-ray and blood work and she was really good during all of that too!  She, or course, cried at the needle but she calmed down as soon as it was done and we started moving around.  I think she was more annoyed that she couldn't move her arms as opposed to in pain from the needle.  She likes to touch things!

She also had an out of sorts day on Tuesday, but I think that was because my mum had left the eve before so it was a change in her routine.  She was used to seeing Gramma when she ate and played and all of a sudden she was gone.  She was better the next day.  Let me tell you, this transition to Canada could not have been done without my mum!  Not only did she become a laundry machine, but Mike and I were both sick after we landed and all three of us were messed up with the time changes!  She was wonderful!  If I had given birth I would have wanted her here so I couldn't imagine having it any other way when I got to bring Dania home!

Things are becoming routine-ish for us.  I say ish because nothing is ever set in stone with kids.  Mike and I each have our own outside-of-the-house activity, dodgeball for Mike and the pantomime for me, and we are working really well together.  She is beginning to display frustration when we limit her actions or say 'no' to going somewhere or touching something she shouldn't.  Perfect!  We first had to teach her that she could try to do things on her own and go places on her own, so she has learned that, now she has to learn boundaries!  She IS a fast learner.  Clever girl...

singing 'la la la' in the mirror

the had I crocheted for her.

enjoying some 18 month birthday cake!

  I don't plan to celebrate all of her monthly birthdays, but we didn't get to do her first with her so forgive us for letting her eat the chocolate cake! hahaha!

7 Nights and 7 Days

Well, it has been a whole week since landing in Canada.  What a flipping great week!

After getting over the sickness, we have a rough routine that we follow.  I say rough because she still will need more sleep sometimes.  Her train is her favourite toy and she plays with that nonstop.  She likes to 'dance' to the music it plays.  She also has been meeting new people, experiences, food each day and taking it all in good stride.  She has only one 'big' new event each day, or every other day, and she has been enjoying it.  Sometimes, she takes it all quietly and just watches, but other times she will just walk right up to the person and babble. 

After visiting our neighbours' kiddy pool I realized she must miss little kids.  She crawled right over to J, our neighbours' little guy, and started interacting.  She also watched our other friends' little guy when he came over and rode her train all over the place.  The next day she started getting on it on her own and can almost maneuver it around - her legs are just a tiny bit too short.  She does seem to be overwhelmed a little when parting from the kids, but she is such a remarkable kid that she continues to impress me with her resilience and acceptance. 

She keeps trying new food and simply spits out what she doesn't like or what she cannot chew properly.  She likes steak, oatmeal, yogurt, and soups.  She does try to eat a lot with her hands now, which is so great, but she also needs to learn to put her cup down after she drinks instead of pitching it over the side! hahaha!

I crocheted her a little hat that is similar to the ones she wore in the baby home, and it's so cute.  That's my one self-promote thing this entry! 

I made her a photo-book about her journey to us. Only her part as opposed to the many years before her.  This will go in a box I am compiling of her experience.  A memory box to show we appreciate her beginnings to us.  I will also put copies of what is not 'confidential' documentation.  We had to copy all of the documents we brought home, the certificates, the court decree, the application for adoption...everything, and will send it to CHOC next week to close our file!!!  CLOSED!  Other than post-placement reports (at 6 months, 1 year, 2 and 3 years), we do not have to deal with the agency anymore.  That seems crazy!

We also applied for her provincial health care card.  We can do that because we have declared her a permanent resident as of right now.  She will receive her permanent resident card in a few weeks and we will be able to apply for the actual card as opposed to just the number and papers that we have now.  When we receive that card I will also start the next steps in the immigration process.  I am going to call them (now that I have a file number and can get through!) to clarify if I need to resend the forms we already filled out because we didn't have any specific information for her at that time and she was just Child Miklos Bathurst.  I hope not because it's just more chances for it to be mailed back for silly reasons like no signature from my 18-month-old. 

18 months old!  Tomorrow!  That's how old she is!  WOW!  She has probably had more firsts in the last week than she has had in her previous 17 months!  We love her.

She has had one freakout, but we bathed her early and got that calmed down.  Otherwise, a normal day has her waking up and breakfasting, then playing for about 3 hours before a nap.  She will then wake up and have lunch and play.  She might have an afternoon nap but she usually sups around 5:30 and then bathes around 6:30 and to bed around 7:30.  Oh, there was the one night when neither Mike or I heard her cries!  Mum stood in our bedroom door and asked us if we were going to get up or if we were just playing a game with each other to see who would get up first... we didn't hear her either.  We both felt bad when we learned about that!  Hasn't happened since, thank goodness!  That was also the only time she woke up for real during the night.  Thanks Mum!

Her baths are the best!  She throws herself backwards (the first two days had her hitting her head on the tub bottom but she didn't care!) and then rolls over and sits up with water dripping all over her face and she LOVES it!  She does this over and over and it is hilarious!  I will get it on video soon.  We also took her to the lake today and she liked that!  I could tell she was a bit colder but she definitely liked it!  She was squealing and she was trying to walk instead of throwing herself backwards.  I am so glad she liked it because I love swimming and we have that perfect lake right close by!

That smile, when I first walk in in the morning, sets my mood for the day and it is fantastic!

For Impatient Sisters...

I only have one!!!  She says I need to stop loafing around and blog already!

Laziness or jet lag... you tell HER after reading this.

I am still tired. guh.  But oh, so, happy.  I KNOW this was the right decision because to me it feels like she has been here always.  I emphasize the knowing because I started to question this decision after the court hearing.  Not because it was now final, but because the prosecutor asked if we would regret this decision because we were so young and could feel in five years that this high needs child would be a mistake.  I had no doubts going into it but you can bet your sweet bottoms that I started to at that point.

Then, at the airport in Toronto, Dad says to me that he could tell I was a great mom for her already.  Done with the questioning.  After day one and how well she has fit here, done with the worrying (well, the worries about this being the right decision...)!  It seriously feels to me that she has been here for her whole life so far.  Other than her not understanding us and us not knowing so many little things about her likes and dislikes, because they are already established, we have slipped back into Canada with no hiccups. 

We woke up around 5 am yesterday morning (Moscow time), traveled to the airport, went through passport control with no problems, and got on the plane.  I never again want to do that long plane ride with a child who is so unfamiliar with change.  She was so overstimulated and cranky and seriously did not sleep longer than 1 hour and 15 minutes, not in one stint, and I just felt so bad for how cranky and exhausted and upset she was getting on the plane.  Her cries were easy to muffle so I didn't give a care about the surrounding people, and she's not large enough to hit the seat in front so that wasn't an issue either.  We were all tired when we landed in Toronto.

I started crying as soon as the wheels hit the runway upon landing.  I didn't expect too... thought I was too tired.  But I looked at Dania and said 'you are home'.  I looked at Mike and we were both grinning.  Customs was a breeze, the immigration officer we had was so nice and excited for us, it was just a smooth procedure. 

I was then excited to see the family!  Yeah!  Mum was there first and then Dad, and then my sister and cousin.  It was great.  Dania was tired but she was so watchful.  As soon as we sat down she was all cute and flirty and kissing people and fist bumping and being her great self.

The same could have been said for Halifax if it hadn't been 7 hours later and she was Extremely exhausted.  She did give them a few fist bumps and smiles, but she hit the car seat and fell asleep within ten minutes.  She woke up and was excited to see the bathtub, and then was out like a light as soon as she was lowered into the crib.  She didn't even move and she is normally traveling all over the crib while she sleeps!  She slept 8 hours still and didn't have a massive freakout when she woke in a different place... it must feel right to her too.

She has spent the day puttering around here, meeting a few new faces, but mostly finding her places in the house and still being her cute self, of course.  She definitely knows Mike and me and smiles huge when she sees one of us.  I love that.  She also is really comfortable and relaxed being put into all these new rooms and fixtures around the house.  It will be fun to find out what food she likes (steak, we found out tonight) and to get her routine here now that she can have more room to run around and a yard to play in!  And friends that don't spend every minute of the day with you! LOL!

Other than the crying baby on the plane (mine, if there was any misunderstanding about how upset she was) the whole trip went smoother than any other.  In 6 - 8 weeks her permanent resident card will be here and we can start her official immigration process!

 

her one 45 minute long stretch of sleep on the plane

 her performing for everyone at the toronto airport

 

her asleep at the end of her 22 hour long day!