I will Keep Blogging...

...just not as frequently!  I promise though!  I like doing this for me too, it gives me a chance to regroup thoughts and vent any bureaucratic frustrations I may be having, although, hopefully, those should be few and far between now!

On Tuesday, I emailed CHOC digital copies of all of our documentation and that 'closed' our file - other than the post placement reports that will come over the next 3 years.  I also emailed them to our provincial government and the international adoption lady said she would love to speak with me and hear my story.  I also told her we would love to be part of any panels and be references for anyone that is working with Russia.

Speaking of reference, someone found the blog because of searching for the specific orphanage.  It fills me with joy to think I could help future people looking to travel to this region!  yeah!

We also took Dania to my family doctor this week.  She needed to be assessed and have the required testing done here in order to be referred to the oral surgeon, a pediatrician, and an ophthalmologist.  My GP was quite impressed with the medical history we were able to provide - all of her tests, vaccinations, dates of treatments, supplements or medications she has been given.  It took me several hours to translate that myself... I had written it all down but I thought it would look better if it was formatted to match the Russian document that was notarized.  He loved her and thought she was doing quite well!  We then went to get her chest x-ray and blood work and she was really good during all of that too!  She, or course, cried at the needle but she calmed down as soon as it was done and we started moving around.  I think she was more annoyed that she couldn't move her arms as opposed to in pain from the needle.  She likes to touch things!

She also had an out of sorts day on Tuesday, but I think that was because my mum had left the eve before so it was a change in her routine.  She was used to seeing Gramma when she ate and played and all of a sudden she was gone.  She was better the next day.  Let me tell you, this transition to Canada could not have been done without my mum!  Not only did she become a laundry machine, but Mike and I were both sick after we landed and all three of us were messed up with the time changes!  She was wonderful!  If I had given birth I would have wanted her here so I couldn't imagine having it any other way when I got to bring Dania home!

Things are becoming routine-ish for us.  I say ish because nothing is ever set in stone with kids.  Mike and I each have our own outside-of-the-house activity, dodgeball for Mike and the pantomime for me, and we are working really well together.  She is beginning to display frustration when we limit her actions or say 'no' to going somewhere or touching something she shouldn't.  Perfect!  We first had to teach her that she could try to do things on her own and go places on her own, so she has learned that, now she has to learn boundaries!  She IS a fast learner.  Clever girl...

singing 'la la la' in the mirror

the had I crocheted for her.

enjoying some 18 month birthday cake!

  I don't plan to celebrate all of her monthly birthdays, but we didn't get to do her first with her so forgive us for letting her eat the chocolate cake! hahaha!

7 Nights and 7 Days

Well, it has been a whole week since landing in Canada.  What a flipping great week!

After getting over the sickness, we have a rough routine that we follow.  I say rough because she still will need more sleep sometimes.  Her train is her favourite toy and she plays with that nonstop.  She likes to 'dance' to the music it plays.  She also has been meeting new people, experiences, food each day and taking it all in good stride.  She has only one 'big' new event each day, or every other day, and she has been enjoying it.  Sometimes, she takes it all quietly and just watches, but other times she will just walk right up to the person and babble. 

After visiting our neighbours' kiddy pool I realized she must miss little kids.  She crawled right over to J, our neighbours' little guy, and started interacting.  She also watched our other friends' little guy when he came over and rode her train all over the place.  The next day she started getting on it on her own and can almost maneuver it around - her legs are just a tiny bit too short.  She does seem to be overwhelmed a little when parting from the kids, but she is such a remarkable kid that she continues to impress me with her resilience and acceptance. 

She keeps trying new food and simply spits out what she doesn't like or what she cannot chew properly.  She likes steak, oatmeal, yogurt, and soups.  She does try to eat a lot with her hands now, which is so great, but she also needs to learn to put her cup down after she drinks instead of pitching it over the side! hahaha!

I crocheted her a little hat that is similar to the ones she wore in the baby home, and it's so cute.  That's my one self-promote thing this entry! 

I made her a photo-book about her journey to us. Only her part as opposed to the many years before her.  This will go in a box I am compiling of her experience.  A memory box to show we appreciate her beginnings to us.  I will also put copies of what is not 'confidential' documentation.  We had to copy all of the documents we brought home, the certificates, the court decree, the application for adoption...everything, and will send it to CHOC next week to close our file!!!  CLOSED!  Other than post-placement reports (at 6 months, 1 year, 2 and 3 years), we do not have to deal with the agency anymore.  That seems crazy!

We also applied for her provincial health care card.  We can do that because we have declared her a permanent resident as of right now.  She will receive her permanent resident card in a few weeks and we will be able to apply for the actual card as opposed to just the number and papers that we have now.  When we receive that card I will also start the next steps in the immigration process.  I am going to call them (now that I have a file number and can get through!) to clarify if I need to resend the forms we already filled out because we didn't have any specific information for her at that time and she was just Child Miklos Bathurst.  I hope not because it's just more chances for it to be mailed back for silly reasons like no signature from my 18-month-old. 

18 months old!  Tomorrow!  That's how old she is!  WOW!  She has probably had more firsts in the last week than she has had in her previous 17 months!  We love her.

She has had one freakout, but we bathed her early and got that calmed down.  Otherwise, a normal day has her waking up and breakfasting, then playing for about 3 hours before a nap.  She will then wake up and have lunch and play.  She might have an afternoon nap but she usually sups around 5:30 and then bathes around 6:30 and to bed around 7:30.  Oh, there was the one night when neither Mike or I heard her cries!  Mum stood in our bedroom door and asked us if we were going to get up or if we were just playing a game with each other to see who would get up first... we didn't hear her either.  We both felt bad when we learned about that!  Hasn't happened since, thank goodness!  That was also the only time she woke up for real during the night.  Thanks Mum!

Her baths are the best!  She throws herself backwards (the first two days had her hitting her head on the tub bottom but she didn't care!) and then rolls over and sits up with water dripping all over her face and she LOVES it!  She does this over and over and it is hilarious!  I will get it on video soon.  We also took her to the lake today and she liked that!  I could tell she was a bit colder but she definitely liked it!  She was squealing and she was trying to walk instead of throwing herself backwards.  I am so glad she liked it because I love swimming and we have that perfect lake right close by!

That smile, when I first walk in in the morning, sets my mood for the day and it is fantastic!

For Impatient Sisters...

I only have one!!!  She says I need to stop loafing around and blog already!

Laziness or jet lag... you tell HER after reading this.

I am still tired. guh.  But oh, so, happy.  I KNOW this was the right decision because to me it feels like she has been here always.  I emphasize the knowing because I started to question this decision after the court hearing.  Not because it was now final, but because the prosecutor asked if we would regret this decision because we were so young and could feel in five years that this high needs child would be a mistake.  I had no doubts going into it but you can bet your sweet bottoms that I started to at that point.

Then, at the airport in Toronto, Dad says to me that he could tell I was a great mom for her already.  Done with the questioning.  After day one and how well she has fit here, done with the worrying (well, the worries about this being the right decision...)!  It seriously feels to me that she has been here for her whole life so far.  Other than her not understanding us and us not knowing so many little things about her likes and dislikes, because they are already established, we have slipped back into Canada with no hiccups. 

We woke up around 5 am yesterday morning (Moscow time), traveled to the airport, went through passport control with no problems, and got on the plane.  I never again want to do that long plane ride with a child who is so unfamiliar with change.  She was so overstimulated and cranky and seriously did not sleep longer than 1 hour and 15 minutes, not in one stint, and I just felt so bad for how cranky and exhausted and upset she was getting on the plane.  Her cries were easy to muffle so I didn't give a care about the surrounding people, and she's not large enough to hit the seat in front so that wasn't an issue either.  We were all tired when we landed in Toronto.

I started crying as soon as the wheels hit the runway upon landing.  I didn't expect too... thought I was too tired.  But I looked at Dania and said 'you are home'.  I looked at Mike and we were both grinning.  Customs was a breeze, the immigration officer we had was so nice and excited for us, it was just a smooth procedure. 

I was then excited to see the family!  Yeah!  Mum was there first and then Dad, and then my sister and cousin.  It was great.  Dania was tired but she was so watchful.  As soon as we sat down she was all cute and flirty and kissing people and fist bumping and being her great self.

The same could have been said for Halifax if it hadn't been 7 hours later and she was Extremely exhausted.  She did give them a few fist bumps and smiles, but she hit the car seat and fell asleep within ten minutes.  She woke up and was excited to see the bathtub, and then was out like a light as soon as she was lowered into the crib.  She didn't even move and she is normally traveling all over the crib while she sleeps!  She slept 8 hours still and didn't have a massive freakout when she woke in a different place... it must feel right to her too.

She has spent the day puttering around here, meeting a few new faces, but mostly finding her places in the house and still being her cute self, of course.  She definitely knows Mike and me and smiles huge when she sees one of us.  I love that.  She also is really comfortable and relaxed being put into all these new rooms and fixtures around the house.  It will be fun to find out what food she likes (steak, we found out tonight) and to get her routine here now that she can have more room to run around and a yard to play in!  And friends that don't spend every minute of the day with you! LOL!

Other than the crying baby on the plane (mine, if there was any misunderstanding about how upset she was) the whole trip went smoother than any other.  In 6 - 8 weeks her permanent resident card will be here and we can start her official immigration process!

 

her one 45 minute long stretch of sleep on the plane

 her performing for everyone at the toronto airport

 

her asleep at the end of her 22 hour long day!

Dania in Moscow

Meanwhile, in Moscow...

The internet has been out so I am posting all days I was MIA all at once, while I sip a coffee in the Dunkin' Donuts across the street and scam on their wifi!

Sunday.

She slept 9 hours! I know I keep mistakenly thinking in newborn terms for things, like she should be up several times a night, but she's new to me so you can see where I blur the lines. It was a quick morning of walking practice before she crawled into the bedroom, threw Boublik into the crib, and pointed at me to be lifted up. Just like that, nap for three hours! Not only do I believe she never slept enough, but I KNOW she never ate enough. We are discovering with her that she does feel full really quickly because of air intake with her food, so we will be giving her smaller meals at quicker intervals instead of packing as much in before she starts to cry a la the orphanage. She will get fussy if it is packing into her nasal passages and refuse to eat more. This will also cause her to sneeze more and then it is like the play d'oh factory... yikes!

After lunch, we walked the old Arbat pedestrian area with D and S and G. I think they liked seeing each other again! Both girls looked happy. Dania was in the carrier with Mike and was doing really well until she just got too hot and sweaty being against him. We all sat down and had a drink or two and then went home for naps.


After nap and dinner she was more than excited to have her bath as she kept crawling into the bathroom every chance she got! She always goes to bed easy, I think she is used to being put in the crib and left. She will warm up to the cuddles, I hope! I was sitting and listening to her talk to herself for an hour and a half before going to sleep. She just loves it. I'm willing to bet it is a first for her as she has never slept alone like this before! All of a sudden she can imagine whatever and as squeelingly happily as she wants without disturbing anyone or being disturbed!!!

Monday.
207 days to the Olympics as per the big countdown in the city center!

It cooled down with the rain and thunder last night so we decided to go for along trek right after breakfast. Mike wanted to don the carrier again and we bundled her up a bit more so she was toasty but not sweaty. We took her to some of the famous spots, the Kremlin wall, the Red Square, St. Basil's, the Bolshoi Theatre, so she can know she visited her homeland's capital's hot spots. She fell asleep right after the cathedral and just slept against Mike until we stopped to eat. What a cutie. After lunch we went to Alexander's Garden, the place with all the water fountains and pretty flowers from our first trip here. I figured she'd like the fountains since she loves the tub. Did she ever! Loved them so much we had to leave because we wouldn't let her go in them or drink from them!

After lunch and naps, all around, we did a lot of walking practice. She is getting sooooo much sturdier. We are both very impressed. She was also a bit more independent today with the food...just a bit though, she fed herself some pieces of grilled cheese, Mike did more though. Later on she fed herself all of the banana and apple we cut up; she was getting delightfully frustrated with the slimey banana. Then at dinner she did a few bits of chicken and wanted the rest fed to her. She did pick up the empty spoon and put it in her mouth a few times though. I don't think she's ever had to hold a spoon! We are also really trying to encourage her independent drinking. It is at the point now where she will pick the water up off the table and hand it to us if she wants some. When playing, she has actually done it a few times on her own. Lots and lots of changes and she is adapting well.

After another fun bath we had her into bed and cooing to herself without problem. Music to my ears. She just sounds so happy playing with her reflection and the Boublik stuffy. We've actually heard it talk a few times without us squeezing it but we don't think she has figured a consistent way to activate it on her own, just luck. She loves him though! Mmmm, I'm going to sleep with the smell Johnson & Johnson in my nose and her coos ringing in my ears! I love it!

Tuesday.
This whole no internet thing really sucks, especially when waiting to hear if you have to change your flights and find accommodations! We won't have to, by the way. Fantastic relief. The visas should have been finished today and O will take them to the consulate tomorrow.

I am sick. I don't know if I caught it from Dani's cold or if I just had a lucky draw. I woke up in the night feeling like I was swallowing glass. Blah. I tried to shake it off with a walk while she was napping but no luck. I was useless today.

We have been working hard on the walking and I am proud (but nowhere near as proud as Dani) to say she IS walking! She isn't just back and forth between me and Mike, now she can get up and go on her own, steady herself, and kind of steer. We just need to work on turning on the spot. Four days was all it took for her to get that she can do it on her own.

She is also getting more comfortable with eating herself. She still prefers to be fed but we try to only do that with soup, yogurt, porridge. Loves bananas and banana yogurt.

She even likes getting her teeth brushed! The only thing she hates is us wiping her nose or mouth. She also loves making the 'h' sound. She will do it while she walks now. Kind of sounds like a dog panting...

Wednesday
She slept ten hours and I'm fairly certain she was sore from all the walking and getting up from a squat position. We decided to take her to the Moscow zoo. She slept. We enjoyed the nice day and Mike revelled in the fact that Dania slept on him for an hour. She did get a chance to mimic then parrots who were louder than a dump truck in a nitro glycerin plant (reference anyone?).

When we got home and ate she immediately began being upset and we could tell it was the belly. Pore girl. It didn't get better until after dinner and her relief was akin to a state of elated drunkeness. She couldn't walk straight and was extra goofy until the fingers went to the mouth. She settled happily in bed, thank goodness, since she had no real naps today.

She is just the best!

Saturday in Moscow

Well, last night went pretty darn well considering her situation!  Like I said, she went down easy, and then we went down about an hour later.  At one point she bumped her head and woke herself up.  We heard her whimper and then she sat upright and we could tell she was startled and she began crying pretty hard.  Even her full on wail is kind of pathetic sounding...bleating goat -like.  We tried to soothe her and tried laying her between us but  this could have been a night terror as she was looking back and forth between us but could seem to find nothing to look at.  Her whole body was tensed up and she just kept crying.  We then flipped her over on her belly and started squeezing the russian dog toy (we found his name to be Boublik, or some spelling that sounds similar) and held it near her head.  She began to o

nly cry in between his talking, like she was finally focusing on somet

hing, and then she settled after about ten minutes of this and we could put her back down.  She slept on solidly for 4 more hours, woke up with little cries because she had pooped, but we changed her and she slept for another 4 hours! 

This is a belated sleeping pic from last night.

This morning she was a happy little camper wandering around then living room playing and  'talking' to us.  We moved her crib so it is beside the wardrobe mirror and she loves that!  Went down for a nap really easily because of that.  Oh!  Breakfast!  She had yogurt(banana flavour) for the first time and her eyebrows shot up and she made a noise of exclamation and devoured it!  Didn't take her eyes off the spoon once!  So fun to see her enjoying flavourful food,  and not just plain porridge!

The rest of the day had her being a happy camper and just wanting to hold Daddy's hand and walk around.  She had half of a grilled cheese sandwhich for lunch and enjoyed it but didnt know how to eat it.  We had to cut it up small and feed it to her.  Things like that make me feel, i don't know how to explain it right, sad/hurt/anxious that she has this learned manner that is totally unnecessary but she cannot understand me to correct it quicker for her own benefit.  She is so used to being spoon fed her entire meal in under five minutes.  They just shovel it in with hardly time to breathe inbetween.  She doesn't know she can pick the food up with her hands and feed herself.  She has only done that with bread or biscuits. They also are not allowed to have anything to drink until it is all finished, so now, when she can assist her swallow with some water, she absolutely guzzles!  For a girl with no roof of her mouth that spells trouble lol!

Sigh.  I know it will take longer to unlearn her habits, just in the same way she has to unlearn her understanding of Russian before she can learn English.  But these customs are just so much more beneficial to her at this point!

We had the Moscow rep, O, visit to pick up all the necessary paperwork for the visas.  I got upset because i honestly thought we left on SATURDAY the 16th, not Friday the 16.  I thought we were worry free because of having five business days.  Now the panic sets in because we only have four!  She just kept saying she "hopes" it will be ok.  What the hell!?  Just when I thought we were only doing time some "more excitement" crops up.  Gah!

Our eve started with some excitement too.  Gas and cramping and painful bowels.  Poor girl!  I hadn't heard her cry in pain yet.  Still kind of goat-like.  She was probably still a bit dehydrated from yesterday, new foods today, stress and it all added up to bowel problems.  Aunt Kitty, you'd have been proud of the grunting strength behind her small frame!  After finally passing some foul gas but nothing more i thought sitting hef in some warm water would help, but was apprehensive because she has never had a bath before... they only get spinged down so she had never heard the thundr of the water filling a tub and then felt enclosed by tall slippery walls while water raised up around her... So, I got in first, stood her in the low level water and just started pooring it on her legs.  She stopped crying and sat down in it.  She loved it!  She settled right down and was playing in the water in about five minutes.  She was playing with the running water when I turned that on for her too.  Well, now I know, Dania loves the tub!  Phew!

She still never pooped though...

Paka Paka

That is goodbye in Russian.  We said that to a lot of people today.  The nice ladies who fed and sheltered us, the driver, the staff, and the city of Sterlitimak!  It was actually quite a quick process.  We showed up at 4, sat and waited a bit, then brought in her clothing to a small room and they brought her to us.  We changed her, said goodbye and left!  Wow!  No tears there.  She didn't even seem to mind the reverse goodbye!

She was good in the car form the most part.  First big poop we had to do an emergency roadside change! Lol!  Later on,in Moscow, Mike will change his first poopy diaper!!!  At the airport in Ufa, we fed her some porridge and gave her her first cookie, an arrowroot-ish kind, which she adored!  Eyes lit right up!  Then plane was OK too.  She was definitely getting super tired but overstimulated and couldn't sleep!  She was 3 hours past bedtime when we landed.  Four and a half hours by the time she went down.  Which she just did.  I just put my daughter to bed for the first time.  I loved it.  She is clearly not used to being held or rocked before bed.  I held her a bit and rubbed her back then put her in the crib in our apartment here.  One little whimper and she was down for the count.  I hope we all sleep tonight! Lol!

I will keep things updated for sure this week, will probably be pretty relaxed though.  Going to let her sleep and eat when she wants and not cut her off.  Will have to try to find an adapter for an three prong cord for my computer..duh...brought it for the sole purpose of doing schoolwork while she napped this week and probably won't be able to! Lol!

The apartment is nice. Fully functional and in a great location.  Close to where we were last time so we have an idea of how to get to what we need.  For now, what we need is to put our suitcases away, go to sleep, and do laundry in the morning!  How mundane and how delightful to be doing it as a three person family!!!

Last Night in The Baby Home

It is her last night in the orphanage.  I wonder if she gets told that?  Either way, we are so freaking excited!  I am back to a state of maybe throwing up because I am so worried we will miss the flight!  Jessa!  Calm the flip down!

Breathing.

This morning was another grey and rainy morning, and then it continued all day.  We stayed inside.  This morning in the party room upstairs.

And this afternoon was in the fun room downstairs.

she loves her own reflection

We went to the store and got some oatmeal and cereal so we have that for the first few mornings in Moscow.  We will get liquids at the airport once we have passed through security.  We will also pocket the bread from the airplane meals since they are individually packaged and just perfect for tiny hands.

We have repacked, almost completely. I have her outfit for tomorrow!  Yeah!  No dumpy tights!  We also had to pack the two giant folders of forms we have.  Only one folder is for us, everything is copied and translated a few times so we can give copies to the Embassy.  Her passport is cute (of course) and her name spelled in English is ridiculous!  Daniia Rouz... Not to worry, they told us it would be like that because Russian doesn't translate perfectly to English.  It also has one stamp inside that is very important "cleared to leave abroad!"  In Russian, of course, so I can't pronounce it.  We were told that copies of all of her documents will be sealed in an envelope in the embassy with the same stamp on it.  I am very much looking forward to leaving with her tomorrow.  I still won't feel 'in the clear' until we are through passport control in Moscow on the 16th.  Then I know we're cool...  We expect her to be a little cranky tomorrow, the flight is at her bedtime.  It could work for us or against us HUGE! LOL!  Either way, it will feel so good to be able to put her to bed for the first time!  I will be able to kiss her goodnight and be the first face she sees when she wakes up!  THE BEST!

Also the best...

Tomorrow's post will come later.  I will be en route to Moscow at this time tomorrow.  I won't be able to update until we are settled in the apartment... but I will before I go to bed.  You can sleep in Katie!

Day 2

Mike finally got to see her and she rememered him too!  Reached right for him!  I loved it!  It's raining nonstop today so we got to play in the party room upstairs and then the fun room this afternoon.  I sat with Dania at the grand piano and she really like playing.  I would press a key and she would try to do the same one (I say try because she would use an open palm so she would hit the surrounding keys too)!  We got to feed her dinner and she was wonderful during that.

Really?  Still taking my pic?  

I don't know why Jen, but this face makes me think of Dylan!

cute dress!

We also said good bye to our team of reps tonight.  I cried (of course).  They have been so wonderful this whole time.  E said she was really happy for us and it warms her soul to see how Dania has changed since 'bathing in our love'.  I can't believe it's almost all over!  Tomorrow will be a normal day of two visits, while we repack in between, and then we leave for Moscow on Friday!  We also went over all of our documents and their translations today.  We have quite the stack!

Official certificate of adoption!!!

Our wonderful host is going to prepare some porridge for us to take on our trip so we don't have to rush out to buy food for her at night when we get there.  We also will do a little market run tomorrow to grab some biscuits or something else we can pack for her.  I am sooooo looking forward to not having to leave her inbetween naps!

Where is Ze Child?

Back home after my first day with Dania again!  It was a funny trip here because apparently the kids show up on the itineraries for both ways even if you only actually have them one way... Every airport had us being asked where the infant was.  In Halifax, we were given a boarding pass for her and knew there was an error there.  We had to make sure to get our reservation changed so that they weren't looking for her on board!  In Toronto, when the man at the counter asked, I indicated she was in our luggage.  He laughed.  I wouldn't have tried that anywhere where English wasn't the primary language!  In Moscow, the woman stands up and almost sounds angry/aghast when she asks, "where is ze child?"  I thought it was funny.  It was even funnier for S & D because they had a stroller and no kid!

After crashing for a long and deep sleep, (well, Mike didn't because he had to get up at 5 and go back to Ufa and spend the day there getting Dania's passport.  I feel bad because he didn't get to see her at all today!  I did *BIG SMILE).  there were no tears and much less confusion.  She reached for the mouth right away and started cooing right away too.  She was definitely tired on both visits.  She doesn't get enough sleep there!  She also had a bruised eye on the second visit today - I think they sleep with multiple babies in a big crib - it looks an awful lot like the result of a head-on-head bang!  We went in the fun room, went outside.  She laughed a lot in the fun room at the mirror.  She was playing peekaboo with herself and kept holding different things and then looking at her reflection.  Really trying to figure it out.  A few head butts in there too! LOL!  I also put her on a rocking horse toy and she gave herself a good back and forth.  I got that on video to show Mike when he gets back.  I hope they didn't just wait in the passport building all day, I hope they got to see a bit of Ufa since they didn't get to see their girls!

I am going to crash hard tonight!  It feels good that it is official today!  Appeal period is over and the papers have been issued to our lawyer.  Three more sleeps and we say goodbye to the baby home and move onto Moscow for the week!