Another Year Older (Almost)

She is almost six.  SIX!  I'm not going to say time flies - I felt all those minutes - and I was never under the delusion that she'd stay young forever, but SIX!  She needs 2 hands to count her age on her fingers now.  I LOVE this kid so much! 

Her personality shines, her temper flares, her imagination soars, her will tries my patience, and her love warms me to my marrow. 

She started school this year!  We had her as prepared as possible with glasses, hearing aids, knowing lots of the kids in her grade, talks about what happens at school, reading to her daily, all the good stuff - but I was still so anxious that this huge change would trigger her anxiety and she would start pulling out her hair again.  She has proven time and time again that she is a survivor and Dania survived the transition like a pro.  During the first month, she came home exhausted to the point of hysteria which after she finally would go to sleep left Mike and I feeling like a tornado had ripped through the house, but she has adapted and grown and impressed me so much.  Her sense of humour has been refined to a new level and her teacher even commented to me about how funny Dania is.  Class clown for sure.  Well, she did just spend the last few years watching me on stage so she knows how to play to an audience!  I have also noticed change in her writing and willingness to do it!  She still doesn't like colouring though.  She will simply hand me the pictures and say "I scribbled this for you."  No pride in the details - she wants to get through it so she can 'act.'  Now that she is even starting to read I am noticing new leaps and bounds in her speech developments.  She has still struggled with the s, sh, z, and l sounds and continuously used her compensatory sounds from before her surgery.  As she is reading though and wanting others to understand, I hear her self correcting more and even using the sound without thinking so hard.  She is a rock star.  She also doesn't fight me  - as much - when I ask her to use her sounds. 

She also started Sparks this year.  I loved Guiding and I was excited for her to start.  I actually am now one of her unit leaders - they needed one more in order for it to open, so I stepped up since I was a Girl Guide leader when I was younger.  It's great to watch her want to learn new things and earn badges... it's a shame that she is the ONLY kid in the unit to not listen to me.  I am often exhausted and keep thinking, 'why did I think this would be different than speech pathology/getting dressed/bed time...'  Either way, I am happy to do it.

There were a couple really emotional moments with her that were the fuel for me wanting to start writing again.  When we took the adoption courses we learned how adopted kids can struggle with identity in their teens and about how honesty is the best policy.  We have of course always told her she is from Russia and adopted.  I am not sure what triggered her deep thoughts this past August but she started asking lots of questions about whose belly she was in.  We talked about how it was a different lady and I had her name on a piece of paper and could tell her, but she said she didn't.  She would ask and then get really quiet.  Then one day she asked if the lady could feel her moving around inside her belly.  I said she would have been able to.  Dania then says that when she was pushing on the lady's belly she was dreaming of being with us.  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  I got choked up instantly and was at a loss for what to say.  Wow.

She has grown to be super affectionate with us and will tell us she loves s all the time - punctuated with the yells that we are rude for telling her what to do, of course - but this kid continues to amaze me in ways I couldn't have even imagined.   I LOVE this kid!

The Best Gift I Ever Received

*Please note, this was written a year ago.  I just revisited this story as a gift for my friend as her daughter celebrated her first birthday.  I KNOW I don't write on this blog much, but all was status quo for a while.  There have been some big changes and I feel the urge to write again... so let this begin it as this happened chronologically next in our lives after the previous post.

February 25, 2016

It’s almost 1 a.m. on February 26, 2016, and I’ve almost been awake for a whole day.  I am positively buzzing!  Everything about today is coursing through me and I don’t think I can even write it down properly.  It is my daughter’s birthday (or was, since it’s the 26^th) and we were excited to bits about that.  The most beautiful gift was given to me today though. 

My daughter was adopted.  I didn’t know when she was born, how it happened, or what her birth sounded/looked/smelled/felt like.  I didn’t know she existed until 13 months later when I got a phone call at work.  I know what you’re thinking – that should be the best gift I have ever received, right?  I don’t look at that as a gift though.  She was fate.  So much about her and us was meant to be that it rattles me to my core sometimes.  No, she wasn’t a gift.  She was ours from the moment she was born, I just didn’t know it.   Flash forward, four years later, the subsequent leap year as another coincidence, a best friend is going into labour with her first baby.  A little girl. 

Now, I never saw myself as pregnant until I met my husband.   He rocked the foundations of my own wants and needs like I never could have imagined.  When we couldn’t get pregnant, I was more worried what he and others would think as opposed to feeling disappointed in any way.  I just didn’t want to disappoint anyone else!  Long story short (and it is the BEST story, and still ongoing) we became parents the summer after our girl turned 1.

When I found out my friend was pregnant?  It was beautiful news.  I was afraid of over selling my enthusiasm or sounding underwhelmed but the instant I found out I had thought, “I want to be there.” 

I understand how private making a family is.  I understand how much an outsider could NEVER understand about your current situation.  I also know that no situation is as hard as that current situation.  It’s hard to talk about troubles.  It’s hard to sound excited if people you know are having difficulties.  It’s hard to know what to feel until it happens so it’s always best to not ask!  Best lesson ever for adults?  Don’t ask specifics of family planning!  Still, the moment I heard of my friend’s impending labour, I was yearning to live vicariously (and then I’m sure I turned and told my kid to stop screeching, begged her to eat something, demand she stop jumping on the furniture, threaten to leave where we were, and finally, silently wish I had a glass of wine), and be part of their most private experience.

We watched my friend’s baby grow.  I loved watching my daughter start to understand what was happening and want to interact with the baby.  I was torn about feeling the baby move around as I was so afraid to sound too eager or sad about it.  I was thrilled when she asked me to accompany her to an ultrasound.  I told her that I was there for them the day-of no matter what they needed, and I was ecstatic when she said that they both thought I would be a good person to have in the room (cue heart bursting!).  I had said, in a long ramble, that if they wanted me there to hold back hair, take photos, run to get things, walk their dog, ward off demons, build a bridge over the possible sinkhole that could open and expose the mouth to the underworld that might prevent the doctor from being in their room, then I would do it – dreaming I would be asked to accompany them on this day. 

She was given her due date – it was my daughter’s birthday!  A birthday sister!  Amazing!   The next ultrasound amended the date to earlier.   Oh well, I thought, that’s still awesome that it’s happening! 

As I said earlier, it’s the morning of the 26^th.  A slowly rotating, shiny, red, helium-filled number 4 is threatening to hypnotize me, but I must share this tale!

My friend had started contractions on the 24^th.  I was so excited.  My daughter and husband were excited too.   I felt a twinge of hope that she could wait until the 25^th to have her baby, and then I felt guilty for wanting to leave my daughter on her birthday to watch another baby being born.  Ugh!  The inner torment!  I resolved to deal with it as it comes. 

On the 25^th, I was woken up much earlier than usual with the phone call that the water had broken and my friend was being admitted.  Amazing!  Could I fall back asleep knowing this AND that I had a full day of activities planned for my daughter?  Of course not.   I laid there until I got my customary, “Mama?  It’s just cloudy, not dark, can I go downstairs and have breakfast in my pajamas?”   We had birthday presents, a family coffee date, lunch out, a trip to the museum, and the whole time I got periodic updates that nothing was progressing for my friend, but she was comfortable.   My husband and I decided that our new 4-year-old needed a nap and we headed home.  As she was asleep, I get the message that suddenly my friend is 9.5 cm dilated and the baby is expected in the next 2 to 3 hours!  I immediately typed:  Should I come now?  If you don’t want me to come, that’s completely okay! 

I put my coat on and grab my bag and tell my husband.  I stand in the kitchen ready to hit ‘send’ on that message when I get the message it should still be a couple hours but if I wanted to come now, I could grab a coffee with him while my friend has a nap. 

It hits me while I drive to the hospital that this is a leap year and my daughter was born on a leap year, the last leap year, and this exact day.  I never knew her birth, but I am about to hopefully be part of the birth of another little girl on the same day, on the subsequent leap year, and this is going to be my insight into what I completely missed out on in my daughter’s life. 

I arrive at the hospital and get a message that the formerly reported 2 to 3 hours is now 20 minutes.  I get directions to their room, get off the elevator on their floor and am met by Dad-to-be.  I exclaim that this is amazing!  He says that the 20 minutes was said to them about 15 minutes ago.  We push through the door of their room and I see my friend on the bed and the crown of a baby head right there!  I tear up.  I instantly look to see that she looks okay, and she is smirking.  I gather she had gone from 4 cm dilation to 9.5 with a baby head right there so suddenly that neither of my friends really had time to process that her presence is imminent!  The nurse tells her to push and baby continues to enter our world.  Four contractions later and I can tell I am about to see a face.  The big push is done.  Less than 10 minutes of me standing there and I can see her face.  The nurse tilts and pulls the baby out and then her arrival time is declared.  She lets out a precious little mew, is given a hasty wipe down and placed on my friend’s chest and both are draped in a blanket.   I am snapping pictures on a continuous basis but I am not looking through the lens at all (I look back at the photos and it is not the perspective I remember seeing, that’s how I know.  Well, that and my eyes were full of tears).   I just saw essentially what happened 4 years ago unbeknownst to me on the other side of the world.  Wow!

I am struck by how fast baby is calmed by the touch of mom and how she turns toward the sound of dad’s voice.  I strikes me that my daughter never had that.   I do know she was birthed in the hospital and never touched by her deliverer.  She was simply being dropped off for me to pick up at a later date.   I got rather choked up looking at how instinctively this new baby groped for her mother’s breast and nestled against the warmth of her parents’ skin.  My daughter unfortunately wasn’t afforded that comfort.  My heart broke a little more with a new understanding to my daughter’s beginnings.  No, she does not have a formal memory of this, it was never there, and she has had so much upset in the beginning of her life.  You would most likely never believe me if I told you, but I know this upset is inherently a part of her core being.  I just hope that this is a part of her foundation we have built upon and will be overshadowed and triumphed over, but it is there and it will always be important for me to recognize it is there. 

If I had not been witness to today, this would be an understanding I would not have.  I saw the love passing between mom and dad as they welcomed and comforted baby, and I appreciated so much more how survival without this and self-defence is ingrained in my own daughter.   I wanted to witness the events of today for purely selfish reasons, but I am leaving today feeling borderline euphoric to be enlightened about my daughter on a level that I didn’t know I could be.   After my friends were comfortably in their room, I drove home thinking solely of how little baby’s hand looked against mama’s chest and how much bigger my 4-year-old’s hands would look if she let me cuddle her that way.  When I got home, I did go right to her and thank her for letting mama run away for a little bit, and I then lay down next to her and listen to her mile-a-minute mind tell me what I missed.  She let me be close to her and asks me to stay with her but the cuddling isn’t the same instinctive burrowing that I saw today – and that’s okay.  I did get a completely unprompted “I love you,” and those have only just recently begun.  She was clearly thankful and buzzing from her day as well.   She will always be the MOST amazing, complex, brave, resourceful, creative, feisty girl I know and no matter how much preparation and reading I did to prepare me for her background and development, I was just blessed to witness so much more about it than I could have ever imagined.

And to my friends:  I will never be able to thank you enough for the experience today. 

I know, I know, I know... what are ya gonna do?

It has been recently pointed out to me by someone, who apparently checks EVERY work shift, that I haven't posted since June.  I KNOW!  LIFE HAPPENS!  Forgive me.  The blog is entitled my path to parenthood... or something clandestine like that... not my life living day-to-day and hoping I don't throw her out the window while my husband's golfing and accepting duties in Spain because he's been there before... seriously.

LOL!

I make that sound bitter.. because I'm fortunate enough to be able to!  I am bitter about the Spain thing.  I just WISH I could be fortunate enough to have visited a foreign place enough to feel satisfied enough to say, "nope, I don't need to go ashore and tour.  You go ahead!"  Instead?  I'm saying, 'nope, I don't need to poop in peace.  You keep slamming on that door while screaming at the top of your lungs no matter what threats I utter..."  Get why I've been busy?

Seriously, it is unfathomable what this deployment has thrown at me.  I did 6 months alone while he circumnavigated Africa.  This is "only" 10 weeks.  It's been 2.  My sister was here for one.  I feel like it's been 32 weeks... ugh!  This kid pushes every button in my existence because she knows MAMA is here - no matter what!  It is sad to me sometimes how she overlooks Dada in situations. I have now observed leading up to her first deployment that she 'understood' Dada was going away.   That in itself broke my heart; then the nightmares started.  LITERALLY!

This kid has been having nightmares since she understood Dada has been leaving for a long time (we've been working on the calendar together, to my own detriment).  I had no idea until one of her teachers approached me before she switched to 3 days a week.  Goodness gracious.  I have to admit that since that revelation, I've been watching the webcams at daycare (because I can and work from home 3 days a week) and mostly just look in around nap time, and every 15 mins or so following that.  I've now witnessed my daughter in body-wracking sobs, in silence on my behalf, sitting on the knee/in the arms of her teachers for a minimum of 60 minutes!!!!!  This killed me the first time I "saw" it.  It's HORRIBLE to recognize that your kid is shoulder-shaking sobbing and you can't comfort them.  I have now stopped watching the cameras.  I don't get it!  She sleeps okay at home (wakes up crying IF she does nap, but is easy to soothe once she has peed or has something in hand to eat) but all I get from school is "inconsolable."  I feel like they see me as uncaring when I say "it has to be because her father is away..."  Sounds like a cop out even to my ears.  For the first time, she awoke from a bad dream during nap at home (normally she fights it with ever fibre of her being and then is awful for the rest of the day onward!).  I usually only get "it's a monster" out of her as a description.

Mike called home!  Yay!  She was so excited to hear him.  First 3 questions she asked:  1.  Are you on the boat?  2.  Why you on the boat?  3.  Can the sharks bite you?  Interesting to me since she has never mentioned sharks with Dada before.  I wondered the moment she started watching Frozen if she would put together Daddy going away on ships and the ship with Anna and Elsa's parents... For those who haven't seen it?  *spoiler alert* it sinks.  I was surprised to hear her ask about the sharks - it was the closest to monster and Dada that I could get... Can't figure out if that is the 'monster' from her dreams at school or not... probably never will, so frustrating.

Only time will tell.

On every other moment since June (as I've been informed by my sister is the last time I typed) up to THIS moment though... here we go!   Soccer started!  This kid wanted NOTHING to do with team sports.  She wanted to log roll down the hill beside us.  Fine.  Also makes me wonder about what to sign her up for in the future.  I feel like she will be more of an individual competitor.  People say it's too early to tell and then at the same time tell me she is destined for gymnastics!  Okay!  You know nothing!  HA!  We are still waiting on the appointment for genetics about her possible Stickler's-like syndrome.  I don't want her in gymnastics or hard, joint-pounding activities if she is destined for arthritis at 20.  Not cool.  That being said... I just started 'creative movement' classes with her today and she was SO into those.  Clearly, at least I feel, my instincts were on about the individual competitor aspect - IF she wants to compete.  We will keep going REC instead of a discipline-focused facility programs, until she is "diagnosed" and falls in love with anything.  Man, that appointment can't come soon enough because the tests for Stickler's (and anything else) will take months for processing.  Damn the fascinating and blessedly-cruel "art" that is genetics... I say art, only because we create so much out of the genetic foundations that are building us.  SO freaking fascinating!

On a definite note, got her new glasses last week.  Her prescription is the same, yay!  We just needed bigger glasses (and I desperately didn't want ones with nose pieces because we were going in every-other week getting hers fixed!).  She is so FREAKING cute.  I didn't think her glasses could get cuter and I was WAY wrong!

Wow!  I was told I had nothing to worry about with her looking over her glasses so much, it was just hat she had figured out her 'normal' distance for good vision.  It will actually take a bit more effort to look through the glasses to see that distance  while simultaneously being granted faster focus at other  points of focus.  There has been no major revelation like when she first got her glasses... just 

 less looking over her glasses at us!

To touch on almost-explored topics from earlier...I feel exhausted and like I want to throw her out the window when she pushes it to the max.  (Scene set:  Kid KNOWS if she wants to help in the kitchen she has to keep her hands out of the bowls or she has to get down from her step stool.  She is also smart enough to know what cupboards/drawers she can go in...).  She moved her stool and stuck her hands in the raw chicken 3 times while I prepped other parts of dinner and calmly told her she wasn't aloud in the kitchen anymore.   This was not received well.  This resulted in more bowl-hand plunging, more forced hicupping and screeching that she knows I cannot stand - but also can''t do much about when I'm in the middle of prepping/cooking dinner.  GAH!  She is smart.   She KNOWS what will set me off (mainly screeching and spitting and hitting) and she does it as soon as she gets angry with being told 'no.'  Hence, it leads to me feeling defeated and like I don't know how I'm going to do 8 more weeks of this.  I've resorted to bribes now.  Chocolate, sweet, task-specific bribes.  IE.  If she eats her dinner without fuss and eats it all, she gets a peanut butter cup.  That is the only time she can get one so she knows what she has to do.  Glow-in-the-dark stickers in her room for going to sleep and staying in bed instead of running around the room, bouncing off the walls, banging the doors, and screaming.   She just does not take me seriously when I use a stern/loud voice and tell no or else she loses a toy/privileges the next day - and I carry through with any 'threats' like that!  I just don't scare her the way our friend with the loud voice or Dada's loud voice does.  She laughs when I do it.  Sigh.  Makes me feel useless.  Good thing she's cute when she's asleep.  Only 8 more weeks, right?  Only...

I Guess Everything Happens to her Mouth!

It's been a long time; I apologize.  It's been very busy with Mike in and out to sea on an unknown schedule.  Sheesh!  Can't wait for that to end.  Plus, the warmer weather has us outdoors more.  Dania seems to be into the gardening more this year.  I mean, she always loved dirt but she seems to appreciate the flowers that are growing.

Her speech is coming along fantastically.  She has been working SO hard at speech pathology.  Still gets to angry at me at home if I try to get her to say something the correct way.  She doesn't get near as mad at the actual lessons.  She is working on the F sound without expelling any air through the nose.  Sounds easy for a normal kid, but a kid with a cleft who had the muscles at the back of her throat running in complicated directions has more trouble than you'd think!  Once the F is mastered, we can start with the S and then I predict she will be nearly fully 'normalized.'

We've had some fun with doctors too.  She bit her toenail off (that's how she says she did it) and had to get that checked out.  I've noticed she picks at her big toenails too.  She also fell on the May long weekend and bumped the side of her face on the ground.  She developed quite a bruise and a big lump at the joint.  She wasn't hindered with eating or talking, but if I touched the spot she definitely would cringe.  It started to get better.  Three weeks later the bruise reappeared and the lump was bigger!  This is when I started to worry.  We went to a walk-in clinic as we couldn't get to our GP until next week.  They referred us to x-rays at the kid's hospital.  The x-ray department referred us to Dentistry because they could get a better panoramic x-ray.  Now, we are quite familiar with Dentistry so she was right at home in that waiting room!  She was definitely nervous getting the x-ray (wouldn't let go of my hand to hold the handle on the machine) which was unexpected to me.  My heart went out to that little girl standing in the lead apron with the machine circling around her head.  She doesn't like asking for help or showing vulnerability but it was there - and so was I.  After the x-ray was taken, we were referred back to X-rays to get it read.  No broken or chipped bones.  Yay!  Now we go to the followup with our GP next week and he will have the full report and assess the lump to see if he thinks it is anything more than just a tendon or ligament injury.  Poor kiddo is so used to people poking her in the mouth now!

We had our first dentist appointment too - which went swimmingly, a visit from Gramma, birthday parties for friends, and lots of fun overall.  She's becoming obsessed with dinosaurs.   Mother's day was special as it will always be around the anniversary of when we first met her!!!

She has a fan club of a few little kids (they are at school and in the neighbourhood) who like to watch her be 'Dania.'  She still doesn't initially just play when kids approach or she is in a new situation.  She will act like a cartoon character (I'm told that comparison a lot!).  She will fall down and shake her head, she always looks with shifty eyes, freezes her stance to look around or listen, and then will start acting like an animal or dinosaur.  It's hilarious to watch.  Kids will come up to her and just bark or roar to try and get her to do it.

She is still very difficult in the home when I ask her to do something and starts to act angry now too.  Brow furrowed, deepens the voice, crosses the arms.  It's obvious she isn't actually angry, just acting that way.  It's cute, very cute, but also frustrating.   The full moon this month had her prowling her room like a caged animal, as per usual, but I swear she has not stopped eating since!  I told Mike that she asks to eat nonstop all day and when he finally had a morning with her on a weekend he told me I was right!  It's kind of funny since she had just fought us screaming at the top of her lungs just the night before to not eat dinner.  Growth spurt for my little werewolf.

My favourite thing though?  Car rides hahahaha!  After the random unprompted screaming that lasted at least 6 months, I now can drive and listen to her sing to herself or play with the little figurines we keep in the back seat for her.  She has such an imagination.  It is impressive to me how she will create and recreate stories and scenarios.  Some I recognize from things we did, books we read, or a cartoon she watched, but most of the time she is just making things up.  And the soft singing melts my heart completely.  Such a sweet little voice.

This is probably my favourite picture of her ever!

Ear Doctor and Fever

The snow is driving us all mad!  We are both stir crazy and starting to get on each others' nerves.  Appointments keep having to be cancelled and rescheduled but we did make it to the ear doctor last week.  A long visit in short, her tubes are still in place and we just need to wait until they fall out to see if she needs new ones.  He said cleft palate repairs usually have tubes until age 4 or 5.

Then the tubes came in handy this weekend as she had a fever for 4 days straight and whenever she woke up, she kept saying her right ear hurt.  After 4 days, I finally gave in and went to the walk-in clinic.  The ear was red but didn't look infected yet.  She said that the tubes probably prevented the accumulation of fluid from this viral cold.  She finally woke up yesterday without a fever!  She's still a little lethargic, but obviously felt better as she wouldn't go to sleep last night because she had 4 days of energy pent up.  It's good to know that my kid isn't any more contagious than all the other snotty, drooly, coughy, sneezy little kids out there!  Hahaha!

I think we have earned a Chapters date today!

Eye Doctor

We had our followup with the ophthalmologist today.  All is great.  This kid was such a trooper during the initial wait, then she was so good to cooperate with the optician and her tests (all of which she had just done 2 weeks ago!).  Even when she was getting bored and just guessing at the shapes on the eye chart - she wasn't even looking in the right direction! - she was still well behaved.  They confirmed she was seeing depth perception, which was the only test before she wasn't too sure about.  it involves putting on the 3D glasses and looking at a big bug picture (seeing if they try to grab at it or are startled by it's appearance of being off the page), and also by being shown a group of buttons with 1 that pops out and asking her to push the button that needs to go down.  She even sat good for the ocular pressure test again.  Then we had to get the dilating drops put in.  She laughs as these go in!  The optician was a bit taken aback.  She said that they actually sting a little and I did try them once so they do burn a little initially.  Dania knew she got to go get a muffin in the cafeteria once she had the drops though!

We then waited an hour to go back in and see the actual ophthalmologist who did a few more tests and then let us know they had no concerns and that her prescription was still correct.  We go back in 6 months and if nothing has changed and genetics are normal, just annual followup after that.  She will need correction for life, but we just want to ensure there isn't a fast progression in her myopia.  I inquired further about the genetics appointment and she said that they must have a bigger wait than she initially thought.  She is still taking the precautions as if she is genetically positive for something like Stickler syndrome (the ocular pressure testing) but all is okay now and we just have to wait and see if we need to follow closely or not.  They were definitely impressed with her speech improvement and could understand almost all of her answers without having to look at me for confirmation.  

We were at the hospital for almost 3 hours in total.  She, thank goodness, was better behaved than she normally is when it's just me.  I think she likes it in the Eye Clinic waiting room.  Fish, lots of fish, and the promise of muffins... if only I could apply that everywhere...

She's 3!

Yesterday marked Dania's 3rd birthday and about 18 months with us!  I checked her height on her growth chart and she's only grown about an inch in height since August, and I think it was all in the legs since all her pants are flood pants now.  I only officially record weight after the doctor's and we haven't needed to go in a while.  She has changed so much, and even just in the last few weeks her development in speech is crazy apparent.

She now officially is a preschooler!  She attends on Mondays and Fridays and her transition time was apparently not a problem at all (which totally makes me feel better about putting her in to daycare 1 day a week to ease her into school since she had a bit of difficulty transitioning into that big group situation) and has already made a best friend.  I guess her and a another girl, S, are just inseparable and I did meet her the other day and she continued to tell me how Dania is a big girl now that she is in the same room as her and that "she can even talk and everything!"  It was cute.  Dania was a little overstimulated come nap time, apparently she was running laps around the room, but she did calm down and didn't have trouble after the first day.  She is telling me stories as soon as she is in the car when I pick her up and I can even understand most of them!  This is getting fun now!  She is also more willing to sing herself instead of just asking me to sing and I catch her singing to herself all the time now and can always tell what song it is (although, last night at midnight it was a made up song, "I love CAAAAAAKE!").  She also sat and watched a different movie with me, well, most of it until she head butted me for putting the empty popcorn bowl on the table instead of letting her put it on her head.  It was Cinderella, and now she talks about her as well as Elsa and Anna... sweet, sweet variety!

She has been to the speech pathologist again and did well.  She went to the optometrist who was able to confirm this time that she does use both eyes equally despite the different strengths of prescriptions.  It's good that she isn't relying on one more than the other.  She even let them do the glaucoma 'puff-of-air' test.  When Mike told me that I was impressed.  Even my sister refuses that test LOL!  We have followup with the ophthalmologist next week.

Mike has been in and out to sea and that's clearly taking a toll on her (and me!).  It's hard to explain how many days until he comes back... she doesn't get beyond tomorrow.  It is also hard on both of us when I can't do one thing while Mike plays with her/watches her and she gets frustrated at lack of attention sometimes - and having to be good by herself while not getting that attention ie. not diving off the couch onto hardwood repeatedly.   I try to always give her a logical reason as to why I'm saying 'no' but it will still be time before she understands the 'why,' hahaha.

She is just so stinkin' cute sometimes!

birthday dinner out